by Robdar 75 Replies latest jw friends
Let's see, what did I do Sunday......
I went and bought a pack of Cigarettes, got gas, worked on my "Hooked on Kingdom Melodies" dance mix, put together some more music for my wedding reception, had fantastic pre-marital sex.
I completely forgot that there was a meeting at the Kingdom Hall. Oh well. I've been forgetting for about 8 years now. I guess Jehovah made me too stupid to remember that important event every week. His fault.
And the number one reason no one has an excuse to miss ANY meeting is:
There is a sister who is blind, deaf and mute. She lives in an iron lung. She has leprosy, ADHD, eczma and cancer. She lives with constant excrutiating pain. She special pioneers. She homeschools her 8 children ages 1 month- 16 years old.Her children are the absolute picture of obedience. She has the cleanest house in her neighborhood. Here home was decorated on a shoestring; but is the best decorated home in her city.She has the cleanest car in the neighborhood. She has the loveliest yard in the neighborhood. She grows & harvests her own food, vegatable and animal. She's a gourmet cook. She sews all the clothes for her family including three piece suits for her elder husband. She has never once in her life missed a meeting, giving a talk(even though she's mute) or making her time for field service.She had her babies, left the hospital and went straight to the KH. And even in an iron lung she manages to make it out door to door and run a home business to earn more than half of the family income.
So you see, none of have an excuse to ever miss a meeting or field service or have unruly kids.
Heather
Flyinghighnow, I remember reading that article! That sister was a fine example of how to believe that Paradise Erf is going to fix everything.
put together some more music for my wedding reception, had fantastic pre-marital sex.
Nos, you know where your heathen ways will lead you--and it isn't to paradise. I suppose that you are getting in all the fun you can before you have to wail, weep and gnash your teeth. Enjoy yourself, you heathen.
So you see, none of have an excuse to ever miss a meeting or field service or have unruly kids.
Heathen, er, I mean Heather,
I am glad that you see the error of your ways. I hope that you will be at the Hall next Sunday.
I suppose that you are getting in all the fun you can before you have to wail, weep and gnash your teeth.
I've already gnashed my teeth on the edible underwear :D
*LOL* I'm not sure they would let me in...
Nos, I hate it when they get stuck in your teeth..
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Robyn,
I have a sirius question for you: Would you rather make it into the new order with a little rash on your ass or be DESTROYED (echo: destroyed , destroyed, destroyed ) at Armageddon, smart guy? You might want to try a little blue star anointing cream on that heathen ass of yours. Valis has plenty if you want to borrow some.
Umm.. Can I have a third option? I don't want to use anything that has been near a monkeys ass.
and can you turn that echo down, I still hear it.
Robdar,
You PIOUS ASS!!! Pompous Slut Jane, you ignorant slut!!!
Keep it up this way and you will soon be DF'd and out in cold, where the weeping, gnashing of teeth and wearing of sackcloth and ashes is!!!!
We know that you aren't married to an Elder, and you are soon likely to piss-off an eLDER'S WIFE. That will be the end of you!!!
You had better quit provoking and insulting the various heathen's and apostates out there. You will need all the friends you can get and they are better than any thing found at the KH. So, you had better "shape up" if you don't want a steady diet of "crow" and "oh, how the mighty have fallen"!!!
Mustang
PS
Warm Xtian love, Robbie
Let me see.. hmmm what do I want to do???
one the one hand I can go to the KINGDOM HALL
on the other hand I can have SEX with my boyfriend..
hmmm.. Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex..... Kingdom Hall.... Sex.....
KINGDOM HALL......... SEX
Well you know what I had to do..
