I understand perfectly. I dont know that it is a jw thing, or even some sort of "flaw" however.
Let me give an example. If I want to go to church then I am expected to dress, walk, act, and speak in a certain proscribed way. I am not comfortable with that. I do not like dresses, dont buy them, dont see them as important. Society thinks otherwise. So, I decline to play by the rules and choose other outlets for my spirituality.
I do not attend many weddings funerals or celebrations for the same reasons. That is not who I am. I am a jeans and T shirt kind of girl. I am ok with who I am. I dont feel bad for not playing the game. Their loss, not mine.
I dance to the beat of my own drum, and am comforted also by those here who respect me for who I am. I am glad I am in good company!
Yes indeed, there is a big difference in being alone and being lonely. I find the rules of "proper" society foolish and shallow. I don't like being judged for what I look like, or for how much I own, or for where I live. I don't play by their rules, and that makes me stand out...so be it. I am happy!
My home is not a barefoot museum. We are a big family, lots of kids and it shows. My daughters room is deep purple with weird accessories. Lots of books, games, dvds, posters, etc about the place.
Dinnners are generally well-balanced but not fancy. No expensive decorations on the wall to impress would be visitors, no fanciness at all. I dont like pretention. These things society says is odd....ok then I am odd. I also dont have to work 60 hours a week to pay for the fluff!
I am rambling on but my point is, I am different than what society says is the norm, and thus I have no need to try to fit in. I am good. LOL