Are you a people person or a loner?

by Strawberryfieldsforever 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • little witch
    little witch

    I am an absolute hermit.

    Oh, don't feel sorry for me. I like it this way. There is nothing wrong with living quietly. I enjoy dinner out and going to parks and so forth, but I am not a social person. Being around large groups makes me especially nervous.

    I do enjoy the net though. I dont dislike people you see, but I am just uncomfortable in social settings. I do like to talk and listen to others, so the net fills that human need without the necessity to fit in in a social context.

  • JH

    99% of the time, I'm alone. I never feel alone or lonely. I think that I'm pretty unique so it's better that way.

  • patio34

    BIG TEX!!

    I don't know HOW on EARTH you could have such an opinion of yourself as you do!! I've met you and thought you were adorable, charming, sweet, and nice!! You need to reassess yourself, fella.

    I'm both--a people person and a loner. Probably a lot of us are.


    Edited to add later: P.S. Maybe you aren't the one I met at the FreedomFest in Florida. The nice big handsome guy married to Nina and with two beautiful children (boy and girl with their dad's eyes) and given to wearing a kilt now and again. THAT guy was who I thought you were & is incongruent with the description you gave as a "nerd" and not good in groups or something like that. Maybe I'm wrong . . .

  • Sneaky Russian
    Sneaky Russian

    Isn't it nice to hear others speak about being alone ?

    Sometimes when times get tough and you think about the past, losing old friends as a Witness, you think to yourself am I the only one? How nice it is to hear other peoples experiences and feelings.

  • Strawberryfieldsforever

    I agree that the net is easy to talk on. I don't feel like I'm being looked at or laughed at or even made fun of. This board , I can come out of my shell without leaving the house and I can turn it off anytime. I really am a hermit. If I were the last living person on the planet, I would be just fine. I mean that! I entertain myself. Maybe thats alot of the JW upbringing. We learn to put up that invisible shield to keep ourselves from hurt. Keeping everyone at arms length has been my life.

  • dustyb

    i like association, but i also don't like to be surrounded by dickheads or assholes. then i just get mad and want to hit someone...

  • little witch
    little witch


    I understand perfectly. I dont know that it is a jw thing, or even some sort of "flaw" however.

    Let me give an example. If I want to go to church then I am expected to dress, walk, act, and speak in a certain proscribed way. I am not comfortable with that. I do not like dresses, dont buy them, dont see them as important. Society thinks otherwise. So, I decline to play by the rules and choose other outlets for my spirituality.

    I do not attend many weddings funerals or celebrations for the same reasons. That is not who I am. I am a jeans and T shirt kind of girl. I am ok with who I am. I dont feel bad for not playing the game. Their loss, not mine.

    I dance to the beat of my own drum, and am comforted also by those here who respect me for who I am. I am glad I am in good company!

    Yes indeed, there is a big difference in being alone and being lonely. I find the rules of "proper" society foolish and shallow. I don't like being judged for what I look like, or for how much I own, or for where I live. I don't play by their rules, and that makes me stand be it. I am happy!

    Another example;

    My home is not a barefoot museum. We are a big family, lots of kids and it shows. My daughters room is deep purple with weird accessories. Lots of books, games, dvds, posters, etc about the place.

    Dinnners are generally well-balanced but not fancy. No expensive decorations on the wall to impress would be visitors, no fanciness at all. I dont like pretention. These things society says is odd....ok then I am odd. I also dont have to work 60 hours a week to pay for the fluff!

    I am rambling on but my point is, I am different than what society says is the norm, and thus I have no need to try to fit in. I am good. LOL

  • Maverick

    Good question! I consider myself an ambivert. I love people but there are conditions. If I am in a crowd...I'm on guard. If with friends I'm cool and at ease. Sometimes I am "on" and being a nut, and sometimes I'm homicidal and dangerous to be around. I have learned when to do what with regards to other people. When traveling I may not have a meaningful conversation with anyone for three or four days!

    But I sure would not want to be alone on this planet. I think people are the greatest thing going! Maverick

  • Simon

    I'm a loner.

    I do enjoy people's company and (I hope) am quite sociable but it's something I find difficult. I'm just not good at it !

    I am perfectly happy to be on my own, sat at my computer and could easily go days or weeks without speaking to anyone ... in fact, it would be bliss

  • reboot

    I think I may have a dual personality

    it depends how i'm feeling-if my life's going well I become more and more confident and sociable; I love to be with people and will talk to anyone....I like seeing people opening up and getting animated, getting to know them...I'm tactile and very sociable at college, switching 'on' as soon as I get there, and when out with friends everyone tells me how they can't imagine me being intimidated by anyone or

    i'm also very easily hurt, shy, think people talk to me to be 'kind', pathetically insecure;and regularily crave my own company; on a quiet day I love nothing more than a fire, a good book and silence.

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