My first post

by thewalker 51 Replies latest jw friends

  • thewalker

    Hi, I just joined the board and wanted to present myself.

    I'm active, in fact very active in congregation activities serving "where the need is great" in a foreign language congregation somewhere in Western Europe. As a young brother, I'm seen as an example as I'm doing all a good witness should do.

    I had doubts years ago but I decided just to ignore them and move to another congregation to preach more. That worked for some years but I'm now at the exact same point. Plus, I have my family and friends inside. At that moment, I briefly joined a forum in my language (English is not my mother tongue) but I decided the problem was that I was not very active at that time, so I became a zealous witness as I had never been before.

    But when I moved to this new congregation, I could see the lack of love both for the brothers and the people in the territory. It was sad to see how immigrants where marked as 'potential witnesses' and how we were using their need and desperation to start bible studies. Add to that, all the injusticies committed against brothers and sisters.

    I tried hard not to think too much about it for not weaken my faith. Each time something happened I tried to help brothers, so many speak to me about their problems. Recently, a lot of things are happening and it's too much for me to see how abusive elders and their families are acting.

    In fact, I had a conversation with a pioneer some days ago and she was also disenchanted. You cannot raise all issues for the sake of being labelled as 'apostate' but this pioneer told me that she can't see love in the congregation nowadays. It has been a turning point for me so after lurking this site for a while, I decided to join.

    I don't know where to go, I need time to think. I have serious doubts about the teachings and recently I'm feeling like a hypocrite, being the "perfect young brother" for many.

    Sorry for any mistake, as I said English is not my mother tongue and sometimes it's hard to express myself.

  • jhine

    Welcome , you expressed yourself very well .


  • jookbeard
    welcome, good to have you here
  • ToesUp

    Welcome. You are among people here that know exactly what you are going through.

    The lack of love is what started our family from doubting also. Keep posting, it helps to know you are not the only one. You are not alone.

  • Divergent
    I don't know where to go

    Looks like you did. You came to the right place! I was in a similar situation as you before. Dissatisfaction led me to search for alternative views, & that's when I discovered jwfacts, jw-survey, & this forum

    My problem was I was not happy as a JW. No matter what I did, it could never be enough. I visited the abovementioned sites, & came to the obvious conclusion that JW's do not have the truth. I'm sure that you would come to that conclusion eventually, if you have not already done so

    After fading from "the truth", my life has never been happier! I no longer have feelings of guilt, no fear of dying at Armageddon, no fear of being bloodguilty for failing to "witness" to someone, etc. My life is also much less stressful - no more meetings, field service, & what not. I have more time for myself & have better friends - people who are genuine friends instead of conditional friends like JW's!

    I don't fear the future. I don't believe in the depressing & unreasonable JW teaching that 99.99% of the world's population would die at Armageddon. I would say that if there is such a thing as Armageddon, a perfect & loving God would find a reason to save me, not to destroy me! I am truly happy & have peace of mind, that is the most important thing for me now. Hope that things would work out well for you too!

  • Splash

    Hi thewalker. The feelings of confusion, guilt, disappointment, fear - they are common to many of us here.

    There's no cure, only working things out for yourself, what you see and hear, what you are taught, what you believe.

    If you've been lurking then you know what this site is all about.
    Most here have been through all the emotions and decided the WT has many lovely people in it, but the teachings are becoming more and more difficult to believe, and the leadership more and more disconnected from reality.

    For something that demands to control every aspect of my life I need it to be flawless, and the WT is clearly demonstrating hypocrisy, unkindness and that it has lost its way.

    I hope you find what you're searching for.

  • punkofnice

    Welcome the walker . A lot of us started with a similar story.

    I don't know where to go,

    Just hold on and take time to breate.

    I need time to think.

    Take all the time you need. Give yourself permission to think.

    I have serious doubts about the teachings and recently I'm feeling like a hypocrite, being the "perfect young brother" for many.

    Yup. It'll do that.

    Why not check out ?

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Hi TW, your english is great, no problems understanding you at all, and like everyone said.... take.... your.... time...

    It is quite difficult at first, a flood of emotions go through you, you don't want to 'be the bad guy' and call anyone mean, call anyone a liar, or "assume" anything....

    Just let yourself do research (this is a great place because EVERYONE on this site has done the same as you.... wondered, searched, been confused, been mad, been hurt) and DON'T TELL EVERYONE what you have done.

    Give yourseslf time... If you want to help your family out... be very careful..... go slow.... it is difficult.

    Ever wonder why they same the same things every meeting? Every week? Propaganda... they know they have to repeat, repeat.... So, why not create a circumstance where your family is NOT at every meeting?

    Join a class? a club? take trips? Move? Start getting "Worldly friends" so that when you DO decide to leave.... if you do, you will have friends...

    Good "luck" ....& hugs cha ching

  • nowwhat?
    As punk of nice said go to and jwsurvey .org for articles of what is really going on in the organization. Wow if English is your 2nd language you must be a very intelligent person.
  • DesirousOfChange

    Be thankful you are awakening at an early age and before your entire life is wasted on the JW fallacies.

    You've already received several very good replies. I would only add:

    THERE IS NO RUSH. Don't run out and blab everything you have discovered about TTATT to everyone or you will find yourself in a Kangaroo Court (JC) faster than a New York taxi driver blows his horn when the light changes to green.

    Baby steps, my friend. Start preparing for your future now!



    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

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