Hi, I just joined the board and wanted to present myself.
I'm active, in fact very active in congregation activities serving "where the need is great" in a foreign language congregation somewhere in Western Europe. As a young brother, I'm seen as an example as I'm doing all a good witness should do.
I had doubts years ago but I decided just to ignore them and move to another congregation to preach more. That worked for some years but I'm now at the exact same point. Plus, I have my family and friends inside. At that moment, I briefly joined a forum in my language (English is not my mother tongue) but I decided the problem was that I was not very active at that time, so I became a zealous witness as I had never been before.
But when I moved to this new congregation, I could see the lack of love both for the brothers and the people in the territory. It was sad to see how immigrants where marked as 'potential witnesses' and how we were using their need and desperation to start bible studies. Add to that, all the injusticies committed against brothers and sisters.
I tried hard not to think too much about it for not weaken my faith. Each time something happened I tried to help brothers, so many speak to me about their problems. Recently, a lot of things are happening and it's too much for me to see how abusive elders and their families are acting.
In fact, I had a conversation with a pioneer some days ago and she was also disenchanted. You cannot raise all issues for the sake of being labelled as 'apostate' but this pioneer told me that she can't see love in the congregation nowadays. It has been a turning point for me so after lurking this site for a while, I decided to join.
I don't know where to go, I need time to think. I have serious doubts about the teachings and recently I'm feeling like a hypocrite, being the "perfect young brother" for many.
Sorry for any mistake, as I said English is not my mother tongue and sometimes it's hard to express myself.