My first post

by thewalker 51 Replies latest jw friends

  • Tornintwo

    Hi thewalker and welcome - you wrote very clearly and as you can see from the excellent replies you already have, most of us have been where you were...

    It was the lack of love in the congregation which started my doubts a few months ago, I was looking up at a prominent elder speaking about love at the assembly, knowing that he is one of the nastiest, most abusive people I know and helped to push 3 young ones out of the congregation. Unfortunately it wasn't just one incident, one brother, but a pattern and I found myself thinking - "is Jehovah really blessing this organisation?"

    Finally I allowed myself to research this religion independently after 25 years as a witness - what I first found was the problem with mishandling of child abuse in the witnesses. You and I have both seen people hurt and mistreated in the congregation, it hurts but usually it's not lifechanging, but what about when elders have mishandled child abuse reports from a youngster? Leaving a young victim unheard, unprotected, continuing to be molested, then mistreated afterwards... Google it - there are lots of stories like this one:

    In Australia they have just had a Royal Commission Enquiry into the witnesses handling of Child abuse. It court-ordered files from the bethel which found files on 1006 known Jehovahs Witness child abusers in Australia and NOT ONE SINGLE CASE had been reported to the authorities. They held public hearings which were damning and identified 'grave concerns' with the witness policies.

    Now the UK Charities commission is investigating the same thing in Britain...

    Again, how can Jehovah allow this kind of mishandling and cover ups if this is his organisation?

    Then there is shunning within families, where youths like you who have had doubts or done something 'wrong', have been disfellowshipped, cut off from all contact from their families when they are at a time in life where they need love and support - some have become depressed and even committed suicide...

    Again where is the love?

    After finding out about those two major things, I found this forum, and I was recommended and Crisis of Conscience (a book by a former Governing Body member Raymond Franz). These two things confirmed the fact that the witnesses cannot be the 'only true religion'. I still love God and Christ but I now feel free of this oppressive organisation which specialises in making people feel guilty and never good enough. I look at my neighbours and fellow man in a completely different way now - not like they are under the devil's spell so I can't be friends with them.

    Listen to your doubts, you have friends here who will sympathise, It is a painful process, waking up to 'the truth about the truth' but it is very freeing also! (the truth shall set you free.....)

  • Heartsafire


    Welcome to the forum and your English is very good!

    I am in the USA, but I have seen the same problems as you. Desperate immigrants are targeted in ministry here too. Also, it is impossible to find a supportive congregation.

    I really enjoyed your post, and I hope to hear more of your story.

    Congratulations on waking up!


  • All for show
    All for show

    HI Walker,

    There are people here with amazing advice and experience. When I first joined the forum over a year ago, I was so overwhelmed by what I was reading. Some of it, saying it was a cult, offended me. Steady yourself, there is no Rush, and hold on for one wild ride.

    There is so much information. Give yourself a break when you feel overwhelmed and distraught. So many here are willing to listen and offer wonderful advice. Whatever you do, keep your feelings and what you learn to YOURSELF!!

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Hi and welcome thewalker. Your English is exemplary! There were no mistakes betraying a foreign first language.

    Indeed most of us have been in your shoes. We had doubts which we suppressed at first but in the end needed to be examined.

    The first assurance is that outside of the JW religion everything is not doom and gloom. The world is in fact full of wonderful people. The baddies though get the news exposure.

    Looking forward to hearing more of your story.

    One option you might consider in the near future is to step down from organisation responsibility for "personal reasons" without leaving the congregation. This will give you more time and space to do research and buy some thinking time.

  • Ding


    I recommend that you read the Christian scriptures without any WT literature.

    I think you will be surprised at how different the message is from what the organization teaches.

  • OneEyedJoe

    Welcome and thanks for sharing. Your words are very well organized for someone that's not using their mother tongue - in fact your post was easier to read than most written by native english speakers :)

    You're definitely among people that can relate to your story. As you've seen yourself, the advice to basically throw yourself deeper into the organization when you have doubts is a temporary solution at best. I think most here would agree that probably the most beneficial thing for you would be to get some space to figure things out on your own. You shouldn't feel pressured to make up your mind or to make a commitment. Armageddon has been coming "soon" for over a hundred years, so I think it's safe to say that you can give yourself some time to think things through. Mostly though, remember that there's nothing wrong with you and that you're far from alone in this.

    Good luck on your journey, wherever it leads you. I hope you find this forum to be as helpful and friendly to you as it has been for me.

  • Londo111

    Welcome, thewalker!

    I know from experience that posting to a forum like this is a brave step. If you haven't already, hopefully you are checking out JWfacts, a site I found to be 100% verifiable. If you can, I encourage you to read Crisis of Conscience.

    The lack of love in the organization is unfortunately nothing new, nor confined to the rank and file, but reaches all the way into the upper echelons. From much contemplation, I believe whatever love I thought there was among 'the friends' was basically fool's gold in the first place.

  • scaredtospeak
    Welcome. This is the place to express yourself. When I joined a few years back people were very receptive and you have the opportunity to share your doubts here.
  • FayeDunaway

    A hearty welcome to you, walker. There were no errors in your English. Consider a career as an English professor?

    I second Ding's advice to read the New Testament with your own eyes.

    You don't have an easy road in front of you. Especially with friends and family all in. Definitely start making connections with those on the outside. This journey is worth it. There is NOTHING like freedom to live your own life as you feel is right.

  • Oubliette


    I found you expressed yourself quite well in your post!

    There is nowhere you need "to go," you only need to find yourself, and it seems that you are well on your way in that particular journey of discovery


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