Have we become what we despise so much?
You can take the man out of the cult.. but it takes a lot longer to take the cult out of the man..
They say once an addict always an addict even when clean for 20 years.
I think most lurk for a while before posting. I know I did. So most likely they are well aware of the variety of personalities on the board. I was pleased to get a warm welcome but it feel like a love bombing to me. If it was insincere or forced it fooled me
GodZoo - indeed.
sowhatnow - it's so great to get the elders' stamp of approval, right? *winks* hehehe
I think you need to get out more. If someone says something that offends you, tell them like it is and move the fuck on. I guess being raised in a JW bubble can do that to you once you get out in the big bad world. If someone offends me I tell them to fuck off but I don't let it bother me. It is human nature. Plain and simple.
I think people are way to sensitive. Let me break down the three things that get people emotional and hot on here.
- Politics and political issues
- Debating for the sake of debating
let take the first two together,
Religion/god and politics/political issues
Nothing incites more argument and division in people than religion and politics. So to be surprised that people would get worked up and hurt your feelings when discussing these two things is silly. Here is the problem in the context of the JW religion.
As a witness your religious and political opinions were given to you. You could not discuss politics, and there was one correct religion, the one you were in. You aren't there anymore, people can make their own opinions and debate them from a variety of angles.
Now political/world event issues get heated, so what. What is the big deal. I can have a 180 degree different opinion than someone else and still take them out for coffee, agree on many things, laugh etc. GROW UP! Put your big boy pants on.
Religion... many theists feel attacked on here, and I think this comes in varying degrees. Respecting someones religion is not something I subscribe too. I will welcome you, if you were in my neighborhood we could even hang out. Don't expect me to not make fun of your religion. Being embarrassed by the actions of your religion and belief system is a major reason people come to their senses and leave! But if you simply express "I believe in god" I imagine you will be met with questions and challenges, if you say "I believe in god because.." you will be challenged, and the "because" will attract ridicule. The truth should stand to ridicule and scrutiny. And religious ideas do not deserve respect, they aren't people, they are ideas. Many of us left to become atheists, some took a scenic route and tried some other religions, even ones not that different than JWs, and still arrived at atheism. No one is here to convert theists to atheists, most of the time they want to destroy imprisoning ideologies that are suppressing and harming mankind.
Theists think the atheists that were once JW are harsh? Go have a debate with an atheist that came out of any other religion or always has bee. They may disrespect your ideas the same but probably more!
Debating for the sake of debating...
The debate black hole, you will see atheists, agnostic, irreligious folks seemingly turn on each other into a semantic nose dive. These can be fun, they can also get heated, sometimes go nowhere. But I feel these are a great exercise for pushing your own ability to research, and understand. Generally I think this may look ugly and violent, but I do believe less feelings are hurt. It may seem like it, but its just logical exercise. Stop taking it so personal.
lastly, its the internet people, its a discussion board you have chosen to join. It is not your life, and you just can't control everything in this world. Learn to live with the indifference. or go somewhere else, but the internet is not the end all. Someone here can call you names etc... its just someone on the internet at the end of the day, stop giving it so much impact on your life. Ive called people assholes I've been called an asshole, I really don't care because at the end of the day its just a GD discussion board! lol
What does the O/P expect from this place? It is not a brotherhood, it has no pretensions of being an "organization" . Nobody is obliged to think alike or say "the right thing " ...
Welcome to the real world. Rather than mouthing platitudes and speaking behind your back people might say it as it really is .. If you do not like the look of a thread , just move along , I do that all the time.
Enjoy the freedom here for what it is.
I think it is unrealistic to feel that every ones comments should be so kind and helpful. The forum has a multitude of personalities that you can't control so arguments will arise and some will write things we don't agree with, which a very healthy IMO. If we are over sensitive perhaps a thicker skin is need so as not to be overly hurt by another's comments.
My 2 cents "thought":
Your comments are VERY perceptive.
We've become what WE despise or what YOU despise?
The thing about this place, JWN, is you can choose to grow (a pair) and learn from the discussions, or not.
This board was full of salty characters when I started lurking...and the discussions were intimidating and brimming with passion for the issues discussed. But OMG, they were real, and and you could not look away. They helped immensely to open my mind to things I had not even thought about coming from a cult.
And the empathy and compassion is still 100% here because we've all been there...leaving, dealing with family, separation, frustration...
Good luck if you think discussion about butterflies and unicorns is what will help. Trust me, there have been a dozen "nice" boards in the last 15 or so years, with really nice, kind people. It doesn't seem to last...maybe because it's not as vibrant and interesting. And believe me, they suffer disruption and melt downs like any board...it's the nature of the internet.
But I don't think you are really concerned with the welfare of the ex and soon to be exJW community...amiright!!