Infidelity amongst JWs

by YellowLab 64 Replies latest jw experiences

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  YellowLab

  Does there seem to be a higher incidence of infidelity amongst the JWs?

  My brother, who is an active JW and ministerial servant, has an elder friend who was recently disfellowshipped for having an affair with another sister in the hall. It turns out this sister was divorced a few years earlier from a "worldly" man who had an affair on her. Apparently this little rendezvous had been going on for several years while he continued to give talks and sit in on elders meetings. What a hypocrite!

  In another instance, a JW cousin of mine was divorced several years ago for cheating on his JW wife with her best friend, also a JW. Up until this point this was kept a secret for a number of years. My cousin ended up marrying her best friend in July. However, when I recently visited him in October, I was ear-witness to him having sex with another woman after a heavy bout of drinking. His wife was out of town that weekend. To make a long story short, he denied it when I confronted him about it, and I ended up having to "testify" to the presiding overseer of his hall after they found out about it. They weren't able to do anything about it because of the two-witness rule. And he convinced his wife that it never happened.

  JWs can be a crafty, scheming bunch. They're not as pure as they make themselves out to be.

  Any experiences in your hall you want to share?

  YellowLab
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  Stacy Smith

  I've been hit on by a married MS and a married elder. So you know they were all about cheating. But in all honesty I doubt their cheating stats are no different that anyone else.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Hi YelloLab,

  I don't have any experiences worth mentioning though I do know the PO in my old cong got turned in by a sister because he was trying to smooth his way into her pants. She was my housekeeper and told me exactly what happened. He ended up deleted and his pioneer privs. were taken as well as the regular privs you lose when you are publicly reproved. She got the same punishment though she was innocent in my opinion. He would "counsel" her alone and gave her advice on her medication for severe bipolar illness. He took advantage of her in my estimation. She was very humble and didn't even complain to me that she was disciplined for his actions. She was one of the sweet and pure souls of the earth. I miss her.

  I don't think JWs have affairs more often than the general population. I do think that they will be more clandestine about an affair. They will be more devious in hiding an affair than regular people because they stand to lose family and friends if they are caught. JW policies can drive people into a more tangled web of deceit.

  Heather
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  SM62

  I agree the stats aren't much different to any other organisation. My congregation has many 2nd and 3rd marriages and many cases of infidelity. But that just highlights what nonsense most JWs spout. They are always harping on about how different they are to 'the world' and how wonderfully happy JW marriages are - this isn't true. They are just as prone to failure as marriages in any other religion. And I have been hit on by a married elder also, just like Stacy - but I am a married lady with lots of kids and so was this elder - many years ago - what a creep!

  Terri
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  tink

  my mom was disfellowshipped for having an affair with her now-husband while she was married to my dad. meanwhile my dad, who was a rotten human being and very abusive to her, got of scott-free. typical.
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  amac

  Contrary to the other posts, I would have to argue that there is probably less infidelity amongst JWs. Due to their strict DFing policy, many are too afraid to cheat on their mates.

  Also, for example, look at Dolphman's thread at http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/62877/1.ashx where he refrained from participating in infidelity as a JW, but now that he is not a JW would gladly participate in someone else's infidelity. A perfect example of how the JW religion probably reduces the amount of infidelity that would occur otherwise.
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  Sassy

  I have noticed that in some areas there is more infidelity and marriages breaking up than others. The more conservative area you live in, the less you see immorality in the congregations.

  I guess the thing is, JWs claim that they are not immoral and adulterous people, so when someone does commit one of these acts, it is more glaring..
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  Stacy Smith

  Good point amac. Dolph would have cheated but for his being a good dub and regrets the lost opportunity.

  I was never a dub (never baptised) and I can't imagine ever cheating. I've never cheated on anyone I was dating. Hopefully I'll never cheat on a spouse either.
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  Sassy

  I do remember a brother I dated for a short while from the Ft Worth area saying that several couples in their congregation had broken up a few years back over online relationships, meaning brothers (married) and sisters (married but not to each other) chatting online to each other first.. .. flirting while home and with spouses in the house but not the room with the computer.. and then eventually moving it to real in life affairs.. and then divorces..
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  FlyingHighNow

  Good point amac. Dolph would have cheated but for his being a good dub and regrets the lost opportunity.

  Maybe Dolf wouldn't have cheated anyway, even if he had never been to a KH. You don't have to be a "Christian" to know in your heart it would be an incredibly stupid thing to cheat with the married mother of the girl you like. Really, who but the lowest scum would take advantage of such a foolish woman? I think Dolf probably really doesn't regret having made the wise decision. He probably is just ranting about this elder's wife's blatant hypocrisy and the fact that everyone seemed to be overlooking it because she was an elder's wife.

  Heather