Girls are unpredictable, materialist, and use us, men, as a toy - Part 2

by will-be-apostate 84 Replies latest social relationships

  • Fernando

    I hear you will-be-apostate.

    The good news is you are young and have (hopefully) learnt some valuable lessons about people, life, lust, emotion and acting on sexual attraction where there is no prior foundation - a genuine caring and committed relationship.

    Hopefully you have dodged a bullet - no STD, no guilt driven rape charge, and no pregnancy.

    And hopefully you decide never to play Russian Roulette again and to put some non-negotiable boundaries in place to protect yourself in future (against raging hormones and the pressing need for love).

    Seriously, statistics are against you dodging bullet after bullet. You are not invincible. Be a sensible man and protect yourself.

    Well at least you know you are physically attractive. Now get working on your inner person so that you can project and offer the security and stability women need and want.

  • JWdaughter

    One night, drinking and sex. There is no love. It is sex. Money had nothing to with it. Your looks and social prowess and money mean less than you think. Real love is not going to come from hooks ups at a bar. Stop thinking you are a big loser and sending out those vibes. People don't expect perfect looks. Whoever sold you that crap-jws? did you no favors. They and the world tell you that no one will love you unless and until you meet up with some standard. There are million of couples and families that prove that's a lie. Be happy in your skin and with who you are and you will find your lid(every pot has a lid). Don't let a perverse upbringing cause you to lose yourself in their propaganda, or you will forever be hooking up with other lonely, desperate people who are trying to prove they are desirable enough. Sex doesn't mean you are hot and not having it doesn't mean you are without attractions. Sleeping with crazy drunk strangers will bring your whole life down. Use some sense and get some mental health care so you don't become the crazy drunk stranger. You are not validated by having sex or abstaining from it.

    My mom told me no one wanted to have sex with, much less marry, fat girls.

    Turns out she was really, really wrong. I proved it, but my chubby daughter was NOT sold that lie. Don't tell yourself hateful things or waste your soul on careless, cheating strangers.

  • Vanderhoven7

    Will Be Apostate won't be back.

  • schnell
    Wow. This forum got really sickening. There used to be supportive people on here. I wouldnt make up this lol. I am confused by what happened. Thats why i told you guys in detail. And please dont mix sarcasm with being egotistic.

    Was there a time in this site's past when a young guy could slander all women with his one night stand story? I really think the support comes for those fading, surviving, and exiting this cult, in areas relevant to that.

    None of us here are entitled to positive love-bombing in every thread if we're just going to say something stupid. Actually, I don't want it. If I say something stupid, you can call me on it. If you say something stupid, I can call you on it. Because we're adults, and there's a thing called legitimate criticism. Because that's how we change and mature as people.

    Also, I don't know you. I have only what you say to go on. You could be a young guy. Sure. That face in your avatar could be you. This story could be true with some exaggeration, like any Big Fish story. Sure, I get that. I'm still calling out the misogynistic slander, and I'm not a fan of the self-flattery either. You can be proud of your accomplishments without all that bullshit. I do wonder, if you wrote about this same event in 10 years, how would it differ? How much wider a perspective would you then have?

    You're 22 years old? Cool. You fall in love too easy? That's common, and that was me, too. This is why I say you should move on. I am not offering sympathy, I am sincerely advising you to grow up.

  • GrreatTeacher

    That girl started lying when she asked you to hold her purse while she went to the bathroom.

    Girls always take their purses with them to the bathroom!

    Learn signs of deception. And never have sex with someone who is drunk. There are questions of the ability to consent. You put yourself at risk there.

    People don't fall in love at first sight. Keep this in mind, both when evaluating the true feelings of others and your own, as well. What you felt was lust, not love.

    And she is a very screwed up young woman, out sleeping with others while she has a boyfriend. She brought her "stuff" along with her and shared it with you and now you've got her "stuff" causing you issues.

    In general, "Crazy" parties and picks up other men when she's having trouble in her relationship with no serious intentions for the pick up. Despite professing love, which is really only confused feelings.

    This situation could happen with men or women.

    So, everybody would do well to keep these types of situations in mind and avoid them.

    By the way, you find people when you are not expecting it. You are just moving along in your life, dealing with your stuff as a person, and you meet someone new. You may not even pay much attention to this person at first, but since you know how important it is listen to others in order to learn because people will tell you all kinds of things about their character without saying a word on the subject. And, when they pass that sniff test, and you realize you'd like to see them more, then ask if they would, too. Hang out. See how it goes. Eventually, after some time, you might actually fall in love. See, that's how this whole thing really works.

  • Crazyguy

    Dude man up you were a one night stand and then she changed her mind. Get over it and learn from it. She was attracted to you because you didn't fawn all over her. Use this next time. Go out, use the money your making to make yourself look good and successful. Flirt a little with the girl you want then ignore her a bit. She'll respond and then have some fun don't take it to seriously and see how it goes. Keep doing this hopefully having sex all the while until you find the one. Then you'll be good enough to get her and keep her!

    As for the elders , don't let them find out your smoking and just have a life and go on. If you have to go to a meeting one every six months to keep the peace do so.

  • LisaRose

    Wow. You jump into bed with a woman you just met at a party and it doesn't end well, so that makes all women unpredictable and materialistic. Are you kidding?

    If you don't want an unpredictable and materialistic woman, don't jump into bed with a woman you just met at a party. Predictable and non materialistic women don't hit up men they just met at a party.

  • will-be-apostate

    Alright, guys, everybody chill out. I don't hate woman and I'm aware that both genders can be equally materialistic, cruel and can screw the other over, jeez.. Most people seem to handle these situations/emotions in a better way, which makes me think if something's wrong with me; after all, I rarely hear stories where guys get emotionally hurt after a one night stand...

    Anyway, this incident was my fault, I'm childish and inexperienced. There were some very good comments on here that made me feel a bit better about this whole thing, so thank you.

    Also, I emphasise again, I'm not hating on woman in this thread, I don't care how you interpret what I wrote at this point. A few years ago I made another thread , that should explain the title. (god i cringe when i look at that other thread), as for the conclusion And thats why girls are cruel and use us, man, as toys., it wasn't the point of the story nor a conclusion really, it looked good on "paper".

    Oh, and joe134cd, ;)

  • babygirl30

    I hope this is not offensive, and I am going to break down why Im asking this in a minute, but - are you autistic or do you suffer from aspergers?

    Now the breakdown of why I ask that...

    1. Very articulate of your feats (make a lot of money at 22)...the meeting of this girl at the party...the play by play of the hookup.

    2. Mentioned you fall in love almost immediately (which typically is someone that has social or emotional issues and cannot 'read' social queues/peoples intentions). People that desperately long for or search for 'love' and attention tend to JUMP into things without thought or considering the consequences. They jusy want to feel GOOD and have someone give a damn about them...

    3. The fact that you label girls as cruel, users, and play men like toys (refer to #2 -demonizing ALL females as users because you misread the signs from 1 or 2 of them that you have come in contact with intimately). I believe you said you had never had a gf before?

    4. Obsess on a topic/person (you said you re-analyzed the situation over and over, you questioned how she can fall in love with you and then cut you off). I mean, you made an entire post here on misunderstanding a one night stand! Hookups are just that - you drink, you say dumb stuff, and you have sex. If the hookup is good, you stay in contact. If the hookup is not to your liking, you typically 'ghost' that person.

    Im sorry you got your feelings hurt. Dating these days can be a maze to everyone...and it is frustrating. People day things to get what they want, mean things, and lies. It comes down ti following your gutt. But your description of the interactions you've had with females just kinda screams social issues. I may be wrong, and if so I apologize. I dated a man who had aspergers (didnt know till the end of our relationship) and his ideas of dating are like yours: he felt ALL women were liars and cheaters. He was uncomfortable in social settings and had a hard time reading people - their faces, their intentions, their actions, their words (jokes and one liners always went over his head). He fell in love almost immediately (told me he loved me in less than 2 wks of us dating/becoming intimate). When we broke up after only 6 mos, he obsessed over me and our breakup, despite me asking him NOT to contact me - he kept trying to (I had to block him). And I can bet to this day, he still blamed ME and all other females for hurting him, using him, being cheaters and liers. 😧

  • will-be-apostate

    babygirl30 that's a shocker. I'm not autistic nor suffering from aspergers syndrome as far as I'm aware. No offense taken. I have friends and every other aspect of my social life is normal; doesn't have this drama with it.

    I just really want somebody who I can love and who loves me; so whenever a girl is nice, i already imagine what would it be if we were together and develop feelings for her. You can imagine these emotions exponentially growing if said girl seems to be having the same feelings for me. Now, in this case, this was just two persons being drunk, out of which me is me, and the girl is just a normal person who can sleep with a man and not get emotionally attached to him.

    Or i indeed have aspergers... idk.

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