Lord spare us from the snowflake generation.
Girls are unpredictable, materialist, and use us, men, as a toy - Part 2
He could have spared us from the generation that brought up the snowflake generation?
How much experience have you had with girls? Do you have female 'friends' that you can learn from - ask questions about girls, reading them, dating, hookups?
I cant say that I was always confident..I wasnt! But I was athletic and had a ton of male friends. They (without wven knowing it sometimes) taught me how to relate to the opposite sex. Growing up JW it was impossible to navigate dating. In the world though, it was so easy...I mean, took no effort. But I realize that is MY experience and not everyone will have the same experiences as myself. But underneath it all - everyone wants to be loved and to give love...remember that. Their timing for love may not be the same as yours, but that desire is there.
Just be cautious of saying things like "girls are xyz..." basically lumping them all into the same negative group. People can and will take that exactly how it is written - not how you may have intended. Im not those girls who hurt you. Unless it was someone on this site that you hooked up with, then none of the women on this site were the ones that hurt you. But comments like tou made hurt US...
Lastly...body language is HUGE. Social queues are how humans interact and communicate - with and without words. Read up on that stuff. Maybe you miss signs or werent aware of them, when it comes to girls. And believe me...women can SNIFF out insecurity and a man who is desperate. Not saying YOU are, but a man who falls too fast is almost a red flag for a female...
And believe me...women can SNIFF out insecurity and a man who is desperate. Not saying YOU are, but a man who falls too fast is almost a red flag for a female...
Maybe you can flesh that out for him a little bit? (i.e. What you mean by insecurity as opposed to say, loneliness.)
A common observation among men is that those of us for whom dating comes effortlessly are usually lacking in character, sometimes in the extreme, so we have a a tendency to interpret it as a negative.
babygirl30 - "...women can SNIFF out insecurity..."
What is it with you guys? STOP DOING THAT!!! :rage:
In my mind, all human beings are insecure to some degree. But loneliness mixed with extreme insecurity (lack of confidence) can equal desperation. And as Ive seen - desperate people do desperate things! Granted adding in the JW aspect of things makes navigating the opposite sex 10x harder, but not impossible. Men and women who are confident usually can FEEL when the opposite sex is/not interested. Even moreso when someone is as I said, insecure, lonely, and desperate. Because Ive personally never had any issues getting attention, being asked out, or dating... some people DO feel that makes me a 'non factor' when trying to give advice. And I get how they may see it that way. But my looks nor my social success has never chipped away at my character - ever. I work very hard to try to be as humble as I can - one thing I do retain from my JW days!
What is it with you guys? STOP DOING THAT!!!
Dont act like y'all dont do the same with females. The minute to sniff out a Stage 5 clinger (best line from Wedding Crashers)...you bolt! And rightly so. 😂
Going only on what you've written, it seems that you are desperate, inexperienced and immature for your age. Please don't take that as a pejorative.
Most people go through what you've described in their early teens. At that age it is easy to take things to heart, to believe everything you are told.
Sounds like you are going through that stage now at the age of 22. The good news is you are in a position to fast track through that awkward stage of life.
However, you won't achieve this falling in love with some pissed up woman already in a relationship, who met you for 5 minutes and says she loves you.
The fact you fell for that shows how much work you need to do in order to be in a position to attain the kind of relationship you desire.
The advice given so far has been fantastic. If you don't have self-esteem before you start a relationship, the relationship is going to fail.
Working on your self-esteem will help you be less desperate. Being less desperate will make you more attractive to women.
Casual dating is what you do in your teens. Might be a good suggestion to just date casually for a while, with the intention of not taking things too seriously at first. Learn to look out for women who act like the one in your story. Rejecting them will help raise your esteem and will help you prove to yourself that you are not desperate.
At the same time, keep a keen eye out for a woman who won't break your heart, one who is decent and will enhance your life, whose life you can enhance.
Oh, and just to say that generalizing women in a derogatory way won't endear you to them. Learning to express yourself in a more subtle manner will help you no end.
Good luck for the future and try not to take it all so seriously. You are very young. You have plenty of time. Just relax and enjoy meeting people.
Simply put if any woman is that easy to jump in the sack with you, she's the person you want to start a long term relationship with.
Dating outside the Borg is just the same outside of it. progress slowly in dating, find out as much as you can about the person, don't sleep with someone prematurely or it will emotional confuse the matter.
Been there done Fink.
Finkelstein - "Simply put, if any woman is that easy to jump in the sack with you, she's not the person you want to start a long term relationship with."
Good for scratching an itch, though. :smirk: