Our fade-gossip-elders calling

by All for show 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • All for show
    All for show

    Looking back we had been fading without even realizing it. Life happened...and we weren't regular. Then we woke up and have actively been fading for 9 months. The last 5 we have not responded to the very few phone calls from friends, and the last two months have not turned in time.

    This week we have had two elders calling, three times this week, to come visit. Our CO visit isn't any time soon. One elder is my husbands friend from the past. The other is our service overseer. Last night my husband got an email from the elder who was his friend. They want to meet up because sisters, in another congregation saw him out to lunch with a women.

    Well, it is one of his partners from his practice and they were waiting for the other 3 partners. It happens once a quarter and this time of year, for end of the year financials. He didn't see any JWs nor is it even on his radar. This also coincides with our fading, not keeping up with anyone, and not turning in time so they want to see what is going on.

    My husband, who isn't a born in, thinks its just ridiculous and with his career has no time to deal with it. Of course I am pissed! My brain goes in circles with what I figure JWs are gossiping about. So, from here. What does my husband do? Say? I think he should totally ignore it and not give any explanation, nor answer his phone.

  • out4good4

    I wouldn't give them the time of day and I would ignore any and all requests to meet.

    Further, I would accelerate the fade to no meetings, no turning in time, and being busy with something to do if they come to the door.

    I went to a CA one day with my wife and she thought it was so important that I meet with and talk to the elders who studied with me. When that time came, I shook their hands, exchanged hellos, and promptly turned and walked away leaving them all in stunned silence.

    If only she knew how I really felt about them.......if I saw either of them on fire I wouldn't walk across the the street to piss on them.

  • Gayle
    I agree with you! They are trying to hook you and him with' false insinuation,' to only defend yourselves. You have no obligation to have to do that. There motive is suspect and intolerable.
  • Alive!

    Just want to say that I feel for you.

    Your story has really rattled me - suddenly elders are desperate to meet, because some 'sisters' saw him in the company of a woman at a restaurant.

    Causing chaos and mayhem wherever they go - a culture of nasty little busy bodies.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim
    Never answer your door. Schedule yard work when you think there is a meeting on. Unplug your answering machine and screen all your incoming phone calls.
  • ToesUp
    The sister's who saw your husband. Have already spread this information to the entire circuit, then to your elders. Don't waste your time on people that are only looking to cause you harm! Enjoy your life.
  • Johny Franco
    Johny Franco
    nothing you can do, your reputation has been shattered sadly. It's a freight train with no stop. unfortunately congregations are setup with the perfect gossiping elements. Unless you go back and become active again this should lead you to a faster exit since it sounds like your mind is made up.
  • Vidiot

    all for show - "...My brain goes in circles with what I figure JWs are gossiping about...."

    Can't really blame 'em... JW life is so dull, what else do they have left? :smirk:

  • Diogenesister

    Leviticus 19.16

    You shall not go about as a talebearer (scandel-monger) among your people !

    proverbs 16.27

    An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire!

    Really there is no excuse, give 'em these two scriptures for their trouble!

  • Daniel1555

    "... we don't run a police state..." G. Jacksons words.

    If they talk to or text you just reply very friendly. "My husband and I are perfectly fine. If we need your spiritual guidance and help we will contact you as soon as possible."

    They will make efforts to meet you, because you stopped reporting fs. After 6 months of no reporting you are officially inactive in their statistics. When the CO comes he will pressure the elders and ask what happened to you and what they did to help you.

    If they wanna meet you and say: "We would like to talk to you about our relationship to Jehovah." you can answer.

    "We have a very strong and cherished relationship to Jehovah. This relationship is personal and we don't discuss it. If we need your spiritual guidance and help we will contact you as soon as possible."

    Congratulations for not reporting anymore. Doesn't it feel liberating.

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