You gotta know ... I'm reeeeeeal prouda you!!!
You gotta know ... I'm reeeeeeal prouda you!!!
I like your avatar, cats are cool.
Don't worry about it. Now you've just got to go and ask another girl out. Do this often. Throw enough darts and you are bound to hit the target.
OK, I have a lot of comments for this thread, so bear with me
Let me start by laying my head on the chopping block and saying that I'm not a guy with a lot of money. I'm a terribly poor graphics programmer. Most of my $$$ goes towards keeping myself housed, fed, and clothed - I use my car maybe once a month or so, and not for the last 3 months, as one of the engine mountings broke in half (ouch).
So what I'm trying to say is, I simply don't have the resources to take ladies (oh how I love the ladies) out to expensive dinners, movies, etc etc etc. For starters, I can't get there to take them out, and even if I could drive them around, I wouldn't be able to pay for our lovely dinners
All of this doesn't mean I'm not trying my hardest to find a delightful young flower blossom to spend the rest of my life with!
Thus, I compromise - I go out, meet loads of women, talk to as many as I possibly can (very difficult, but rewarding!), and then find one or two who seem especially nice. Some girls look wonderful from a distance, but as soon as they open their mouths...well, you know what I mean. I've met some truly vacuous, boring women in my life! Steer clear of those if you can.
THEN, and this is the coup-de-gras, ask them over for dinner at YOUR PLACE! I live with two roommates, and it's important to let them know this. Make sure they realize that you're not just a horny dog who wants them to come directly to your place for a heavy horizontal tango session (although admittedly they can if they want...but very few do!). Keep it light and easy. Don't make them panic and think, this dude is probably an axe-murderer, etc.
Once you manage to get them to your place (this really, really helps if you are not in possession of a car, ala me), cook them a GREAT DINNER! It's that easy! Every man should know how to cook at least one restaurant-quality meal, because ladies love it if you cook them dinner. They've told me this over and over, so I take it as writ.
Imagine yourself and the lady of choice standing in the kitchen, having a nice, cozy chat (no distractions!) while you cook her dinner and show off your Jamie Olivier style! Excellent!
And bloody cheap too! All you invest is some food and a bottle of wine (I don't drink at all, but I always ask if they'd like some fermented grape juice...it just seems like the right thing to do).
There are so many benefits to this approach that I don't even have time to number all of them. You learn to cook better (BIG PLUS FOR SINGLE GUYS!!!), get to know the lady better in a non-threatening environment, impress her with your cooking prowess, show her you know how to take care of a lady (this is what a woman actually told me once...kid you not!), and bonus of bonuses, you're still being a perfect gentleman!
So try that out, DanMan. We all have to adjust for our varying situations.
Which brings me to my second topic, balance in relationships. See, by doing all of this, you eliminate the whole "who's picking up the cheque???" fiasco, nipping it in the bud, so to speak. There won't BE any cheque to pick up if you do this. And you'll be showing her that you're not just using her and trying to buy her affections.
Last but not least, Dan, dude, there are billions of women on this planet. What the hell are you waiting for? Just do what Batman did, draw a circle on the map with your home at it's center. Visit each and every place where there are likely to be members of the fairer sex within that circle. Just be persistent!
PS. You'd better teach yourself how to cook whatever it is you're going to be making BEFORE said lady arrives at your place for dinner, or lunch, or whatever. There's nothing like burnt chicken to put a damper on the evening. Take it from me. Not even THREE bottles of wine will erase the memory of that, or the discomfort of having her picking at your food. Ouch! You have been warned!
YEA Dan! Good job! Now if I could just get you to buy a cat
And I agree don't overanalize this...accept what she said at face value and move on!
Interesting idea SYN....I only had one guy ask me over to his place for dinner...for a 2nd date...but since he had tried to jump me on the first...I didn't go. To be honest I am not sure how comfortable I would be going over to a guys place for dinner on the first date..I guess it would depend on how I met him and how well I knew him prior to the date, you know?
I tend to go for the coffee first date myself...inexpensive and a quick out if things don't click
I would have been way overachieving to land this girl, she is top quality all the way around so far as I can tell.
Hey Dan, there's nothing wrong with overachieving. I am doing that right now!!! If you give yourself some credit, you will be surprised at what you can accomplish!
SYN: Cool advice! Is Kraft Macaroni and Cheese restaurant quality?
Dan: You got guts... sorry this one didn't work out!
Well, I'm not the type of guy to be throwing darts all the time, but I hope I hit the target one of these day, lord knows I love the ladies.
I'm not exactly Mr. Money either. I'm not enough of a socializer to have all the opportunities like what you talk about. No roommates, no large social circle to "network" for women.
I would think that most women would feel a little uneasy about going over to a guy's house that they don't know very well and having dinner.
I've been having this stray kitten (I'd say about 4-5 mos. old) coming around my house. I think it is a female in heat as it is crazy affectionate. I was thinking about keeping it but it bit me last night, so I showed it the door.
Overachieving might be good, but you've always got to wonder if she'd trade up if you're not on her level. Aesthetically imbalanced relationships (like Billy Joel and Christy Brinkley) seem doomed from the start. LOL
Either I've got guts or I'm hopelessly clueless!
dude you should be so proud of yourself, you are so brave. i am so thankful there are guys willing to take the initiative like that...because i am way too chicken, if i were left to my own devices i would never have a single date ever....i'd absolutely puke if i had to ask some guy i liked on a date!! no matter what the outcome, you rock for giving it a go!! :)
Hi Dan !
Well this message is for every man who wants to get in touch with any other woman ? DON?T FOCUS ON THE ONE YOU LIKE ! at first and even after (not the same way after of course)
I mean since the very first time you get in a group ?
So that any woman can see you at any time with any kind of woman or man ? asking them with no personal reason (only friendship and talks) ? you?ll finally get your chance with the one who is attracting you, without having her thinking something like HE WANT?S TO F* ME ? or Whatever can make you feel bad, about how to ask
FIRST of This strategy will lead you to get closer to lots of women and know them more, to be more confident ?
They will introduce you to those they (already) know (maybe the one you are waiting/looking for) - (hey Dan we are going to the Snack, are you with us ?) you may never have to ask the first time cause it may come naturally
THIRD ofPretty woman (knowing or not that they are) are lone most of the time : too much or not enough ? just like ugly woman (for the reverse reason ? which is very interesting !) and in fact in having a string with every one you can for no reason will allow you to see who you are really talking to ? you may realise the one who is really attracting you is not the " hottie " on the right side ... but the " special " just right there ... or here or over there ... you just didn't look closer yet ...
Being ashamed is a personnal feeling :
If one day you feel ashamed for any reason ? just say this : "Oh BOY ? SHAME IS JUST SOooooooo GOOD ! Every single morning I looking the f* good shame of the day ! ... I mean It?s A MUST ! ? Got a few rewards hanging on my walls already ... I'm not the winner yet but I'm getting closer Folks !"
Try this one day ... even say it loud at the special moment ! you'll got a good laugh from everybody ... that is how you can change a shame into a I'M THE MAN !