Bonsai Kitty

by suzi mayhem 84 Replies latest jw friends

  • seven006
    seven006

    Jesus Christ, Dark Clouds who pissed in your Cheereos? Are you always this angry? Just because someone has a difference of opinion with you do you feel the need to attack his wife? Is your body so fantastic that women toss their underwear at you and beg you to shoot a lightning bolt out your zipper? You have to stoop to calling someone fat to express your own insecurities?

    You like kitties, that's great. Don't for a second think that makes you a sensitive and caring man. Does calling someone a "fat fuck wit" make you feel like a man? You have made your board name "Dark Clouds", it looks like you might have some issues. Defending little kitties by calling Alan names is a bit counter productive don't you think?
    You love little animals but an intelligent human being that has helped hundreds of people much like yourself is not worthy of the same kindness you show to dumb animals? Does Alan intimidate you? Does his wife threaten your masculinity? Or are you just pissed off at the world and you found a subject that you could comment on where you didn't have to use really big words to explain your position?

    I use to be pissed of at the world, I know where you are coming from but just try and take a deep breath and chill a little. IT WAS A JOKE! Good or bad it wasn't real life!
    Try and grasp the concept that all you see in the world is not real. Quit being pissed off because you got duped a little. Hey, they got you! Laugh a little at yourself and quit picking on nice people. You'll end up with a brain hemorrhoid and have to shove personality suppositories up your thought process. Be nice, get to know the man before you start calling him names, you might actually like him. I do and I hate everybody.

    I do, in a strange way appreciate you calling Alan a "fuck wit". I have been searching for a good name to call him and you came up with it for me. I even think he likes it. If you can be the man and apologize first I know for a certainty that Alan will reciprocate. If he doesn't I will kick the shit out of him when I see him. I'm a big mean looking SOB and he knows I can kick his ass so for the sake of his and my friendship I am asking you nicely to take some of that kitty love you have and tell Alan you are sorry for calling him FAT.

    Fuck Wit I like so see if you can just apologize for the "fat" part, I would apperciat it.

    Fuck Wit's friend

    Dave

  • emyrose
    emyrose

    "No one in this thread is finding humor in the torture of living things. After all, no living things were tortured to make that web site. It is a joke, not reality."

    I sorry Seeker, but even if it's a joke it's STILL NOT FUNNY
    to me. The IDEA of taking a kitten and jamming it into a mason
    bottle and sealing its butt with glue and inserting it with tubes
    so as to keep it alive in such a tortured state is NOT FUNNY.
    It is horrific! A really bad joke and nasty idea. Would you laugh
    at a web site that depicted Blacks being lynched and elaborated on the
    best way to hang a nigger? Let's say they didn't actually hang any.
    Would this be funny? How about if we joke about how to burn a Jew
    in a home oven w/o actually buring one of course?
    All jokes of that sort are utterly disgusting and NOT FUNNY!

  • Seeker
    Seeker
    I sorry Seeker, but even if it's a joke it's STILL NOT FUNNY
    to me.

    That's fine, for that is the essence of humor. Some people like one kind of humor, others like another kind. No problem.

    The IDEA of taking a kitten and jamming it into a mason
    bottle and sealing its butt with glue and inserting it with tubes
    so as to keep it alive in such a tortured state is NOT FUNNY.
    It is horrific!

    I agree 100%. That isn't what is funny about that site, though.

    A really bad joke and nasty idea.

    And if the point of the site was to do that to kittens, you'd be right.

    Would you laugh at a web site that depicted Blacks being lynched and elaborated on the best way to hang a nigger? Let's say they didn't actually hang any. Would this be funny?

    Nope, but that's entirely different for people actually do those things in real life. Nobody has ever made a Bonsai Kitty, which is why it is funny to make a site 'catering' to the 'tremendous demand' for them. They pulled a fast one and people fell for it, even though they way they described things made it very obvious that this wasn't real.

    How about if we joke about how to burn a Jew in a home oven w/o actually buring one of course?

    Once again, apples and oranges. The Holocaust did happen and there is nothing funny about it. A very key difference.

    All jokes of that sort are utterly disgusting and NOT FUNNY!

    I completely agree. The Bonsai Kitty site was funny for other reasons, however, that have nothing to do with your examples. It wasn't the sight of those kittens that pretended to show them in jars that was funny. That's now why I laugh at the joke. I love animals very much and have never, do not now, nor ever would cause harm or suffering to any of them. However, the Bonsai Kitty site is funny to me, and it is not funny for the concept of harming animals (even though none were), but has everyting to do with the tone of the site.

    Shall we hit cats with mallets? No? Then why is Tom & Jerry funny?

    Shall we drop anvils on coyotes? No? Better not watch Road Runner cartoons.

    Humor deals with many subjects that would be awful if they were actually carried out in real life. If a particular type of humor doesn't appeal to you, ignore it and move on.

  • seven006
    seven006

    emyrose,

    I have just one question for you. Did you think the photo of Alan with his head in a jar was funny? Dark Clouds did.

    Personally I think that the fact that this topic has gone on for four pages is funny.

    Dave

  • jukief
    jukief

    Dave, what *I* think is funny is that anyone could possibly believe that Web site was real. Good grief.

  • seven006
    seven006

    Come on now Mrs Fuck Wit, at one time all of us here thought the JW religion was real.
    There are a few million people still being duped by it. Maybe that's the problem with those who are offended with the phony kitty in a jar site. It hit's a little too close to home.

    Fuck Wit family friend

    Dave

  • GinnyTosken
    GinnyTosken

    I can't believe it took a Bonsai Kitty to bring us all together.

    It's so fun to have you here, JukieF!

    Ginny

  • jukief
    jukief

    Hi Ginny.

    Can you tell I'm bored? :-) It'll probably be another year before I pop in again. Dark Cloud will be happy to hear that!

  • larc
    larc

    Hi Dork Fog,

    Excuse me, I meant Dark Clouds.

    Let me tell me about my two kitties. One was all white and one was all black. We let them come in and out of the house as they damned well pleased. We left windows open at night so that they could roam if the wanted to. Now, these two cats had very different personalities. The black cat, named Pattie, would go catch a mouse, jump in through the window, and drop it at our feet. She was so proud. If you weren't around, she would bring it in and play hide and seek with the mouse for awhile, until the mouse died of fright. The white cat (named Lacey), on the other hand, was like an incoming missile. She would attack and kill instantly. One summer night at three in the morning, I was awakened by a crunching sound. I figured that Lacey had caught a mouse and was having her nocternal meal. The crunching continued. I got up an turned on the light and found Lacy half way through a bunney rabbit. With surgical precision, she had eaten the lower half of the bunny. After my wife cleaned up the mess, (I might be manly, but I am also squeemish.) I spend many hours getting ready for work.

    Dark Clouds, I really did try to teach my kitties to eat carrots and tomatoes, but they take a dim view of this particular diet. So you see, in the carnivorous world we live in, reality is a dark as the humor you reject.

  • goo
    goo

    hey guys a few jokes for all u funsters:

    Did you hear about Ku Klux Knievel? He tried to jump 100 niggers with a steam roller.

    What do you call A white guy in front 11 niggers? Coach.

    A white guy in front of 10,000 niggers? Warden.

    What's long, black and smells like shit? The Welfare line.

    Why did Hitler kill himself? He got the gas bill.

    How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 6 million in the ashtray.

    Whats green and chained down in my backyard? "It's my nigger and I'll paint him any color I want to!"

    what due you call a bunch of old niggers in a field? Antique farm equipment

    there's an indian, a white guy and a black in a bar, the indian takes a drink and says we one were many now few, the white guy smiles and then the black guy says we once were few but now many. the white guy miles and says thats because we havent played cow boys and niggers yet.

    : Why do niggers smell like shit?
    : So the blind can hate them to

    : What did the little nigger boy get for christmas?
    : My bike

    : How do you get a nigger out of a tree??
    : You cut the rope

    : How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
    : Take your foot off his neck!

    : Why do police dogs lick there asses?
    : To get the taste of nigger out of there mouths!!

    : Why does the future look so bright?
    : There are no niggers on The Jetsons!!

    : How do you make a nigger go woof?
    : Douse him in gasoline, and throw a him match on it.

    : Know what you call a nigger with a cadillac?
    : Thief!!

    HOW DO YOU KEEP JEWS OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY CLUB ??? LET IN BLACKS !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE DIFERENCE BETWEEN JEWS AND CANOES ??? CANOES TIP !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT DO YOU CALL A BASEMENT FULL OF JEWISH WOMEN ??? "A WHINE CELLAR" !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT DO YOU CALL A JEWISH GIRL ON A WATER BED ??? THE DEAD SEA !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE BEST THING THAT EVER TO COME OUT OF AUSCHWITZ ??? AN

    EMPTY BUS !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JEWISH GIRLS AND JELLO ? JELLO WIGGLES

    WHEN YOU EAT IT !

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE ULTIMATE JEWISH DILEMMA ? "FREE HAM" !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A JEW AND A PIZZA ??? A PIZZA DOESN'T

    SCREAM WHEN YOU PUT IT IN THE OVEN !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    IF TARZAN IS A JEW AND JANE IS A JEW, WHATS CHEETAH ??? A FUR COAT !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S A JEWS DEFINITION OF FOREPLAY ??? AN HOUR OF BEGGING !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POVERTY AND A JEWISH GIRL ???

    POVERTY SUCKS !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JEWISH GIRLS AND THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE ??

    ? THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE SWALLOWS SEAMEN !!! (SEMEN)

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT DO YOU CALL A NIPPLE ON A JEWISH GIRL ??? THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    HOW DO YOU TELL A PREPPY ALLIGATOR ??? HE'S THE ONE WITH THE LITTLE

    JEW ON THE POCKET OF HIS GOLF SHIRT !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S JEWISH FOR "TRUST ME" ??? "FUCK YOU" !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A JEW WITH A PUERTO RICAN ??? A

    SUPERINTENDENT WHO THINKS HE OWNS THE BUILDING !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A JEWISH GIRL WITH AN APPLE ??? A

    COMPUTER THAT WILL NEVER GO DOWN ON YOU !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHY DO JEWISH GIRLS LIKE PROSTITUTION ??? BECAUSE YOU GOT IT...YOU

    SELL IT....AND YOU STILL GOT IT !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHY DO JEWISH GIRLS USE GOLD DIAPHRAGMS ??? THEIR MEN LIKE COMING

    INTO MONEY !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY JEW ??? A HE-BLEW !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT DO YOU CALL THE JEWISH MAFIA ??? THE "KOSHER NOSTRA"

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CHINAMAN WITH A JEWISH MOTHER ???

    SOMEONE WHO MAKES MISFORTUNE COOKIES !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    HOW MANY JEWS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB ??? THREE...ONE TO CALL THE MAID AND TWO TO STAND AROUND FEELING GUILTY ABOUT MAKING THE CALL !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    HOW IS HAVING SEX WITH A JEWISH GIRL LIKE COMPLAINING TO THE IRS ???

    IN EITHER CASE YOU GET NO RESPONSE !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE BEST THING TO DO BEFORE A VISIT TO A JEWISH DENTIST ???

    COUNT YOUR MONEY BEFORE HE GIVES YOU THE GAS !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHY DON'T JEWISH SOLDIERS WEAR BULLET PROOF VESTS ???

    BECAUSE THEY CAN'T GET A REFUND IF THEY DON'T WORK !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE SHORTEST BOOK IN THE WORLD ??? THE JEWISH HANDBOOK OF

    BUSINESS ETHICS !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A JEWISH WIFE AND A TERRORIST ???

    TERRORISTS DEMANDS ARE EASIER TO MEET !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOUR LIMO IS OWNED BY A JEW ???

    IT HAS A PAY PHONE IN THE BACK SEAT !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHY ARE JEWISH WIVES CONSIDERED SCIENTIFIC WONDERS ?? THEY CAN BAKE IN THE MIAMI SUN FOR HOURS AND STILL BE COLD AS ICE IN THE BEDROOM RIGHT AFTER !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHY IS MONEY GREEN ??? BECAUSE THE JEWS PICK IT BEFORE IT'S RIPE !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHY DID THE JEWS ROAM THE DESERT FOR 40 YEARS ? ONE OF THEM DROPPED

    A PENNY IN THE SAND !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    WHY DO JEWS HAVE BIG NOSES ??? BECAUSE AIR IS FREE !!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE JEWISH GUY WHO WALKED INTO A WALL WITH AN

    ERECTION ??? HE BROKE HIS NOSE !!!

    enjoy

    goo.

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