Hi everyone, thank you so much for your warm welcomes! I am so glad that i trusted my husband and came on here. He comes in and looks around here occasionally, he doesnt post though, he just thinks if he reads and gets info then he can help me overcome all of this, and gain some sort of understanding of what i am going through. My parents are speaking to me right now only because we live with them, I was df'd still when we moved in, but it was for financial reason, theirs as well as ours. Thats all going to change on thursday though, as we found a beautiful apartment by the beach and are moving out. I already got the yelling and questions about what i should and should not be doing, and how when i leave i also cut our association off. It was so hard to deal with that, but now that its over i can move on and start over. I am more worried about my little boy, he loves my parents so much, they shower him with love and attention, it will be strange for him when we leave. I just asked of them that they do whatever they will to me, just dont do it to my son, dont make him suffer cause of what they decide to do (as in not associate with me ever again). I still want him to have that relationship with them, he needs them. But i have this aching feeling in my heart that they will cut association completly from me, including my son, and that will kill me, and i would never forgive them for that, but i will cross that bridge when i come to it. That is the biggest thing that is happening so far. I guess taking these steps to get out of the org completely is really hitting me hard, i feel like i am betraying god and the orginization, i feel like the worst person in the world, and that maybe it is me that has no faith and not enough understanding, that maybe i need more guidance and direction. Of course when i read over all of that, its all so familier of the brain washing that is told to all of us. I know that i am doing the right thing with leaving, but something is always telling me that im not. Gosh, they sure put such a strong hold on you, dont they! Well, thanks for listening and reading. I will make a new post when we move, and let you know how that goes. Thanks again everyone!
Hi, my introduction.....finally.
by MonkeyPrincess 51 Replies latest jw experiences
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onacruse
Hi MP, and welcome
I know that i am doing the right thing with leaving, but something is always telling me that im not. Gosh, they sure put such a strong hold on you, dont they!
Oh yes! Oh Yes indeed!!!!
I/we had the same doubts as you, sometimes for decades. Always questioning oneself, uncertain, disoriented.
There are hundreds of people here who share your struggle...stick with us, and you'll see your way clear
Craig (of the "lifer" class)