Back in the meat raffle of life!

by joannadandy 59 Replies latest social relationships

  • Eric


    Sorry to hear about the cheating. It's got to be the toughest way to lose someone, and believe me, I know. I once carried on a long-distance relationship with a woman, sending and receiving sexy letters and gifts, staying uhh, let's say, "in touch" with each other by phone, and flying out to visit when I could. Those were monumentally satisfying weekends for me, and, I was led to believe, for her as well.

    And then, on my final flight out to see her, I parked my rental car at her door and fairly sprung up the front stairs to ring her doorbell. Of course she knew I was coming, and at the door she greeted me and asked me to please meet - you have to wait for it - her fiance.

    Her fiance!

    Gutted. Hung from my heels and gutted.

    As I left I could hear the birds chirping my name in laughter. The cloud formations overhead were of her and him together, the neighbor's marigolds were planted and spaced so as to spell "cuckold". It went on for weeks like that. Dogs in the street knew I'd been badly cheated on, the word spread through ant colonies where I lived. So bad that I screwed up at my job by being rankly unapproachable and so insulting of others that I was pink-slipped.

    There is however something I would like to know.

    When I've been between relationships, but actively seeking, or when I'm in a sexual drought, there never seems to be any interest from the women around me. Then when, with much effort and careful strategy, I break down the distance to one woman, and I'm commanding the sun to rise, awakening the tides, all of a sudden interested women abound, they are flirting on the left of me, touching me on the right, and seduction is all around.

    Why is this so? Do I smell differently when I'm successfully mating? Is there a confidence conferred to me through the touch of a woman that ignites something in her sisters? Where was all this just days before when perhaps a simple smile and glance from any of them would have been so dear?


    To follow up on the end of my cheating story, I felt some bizarre need to exact repayment. Who deserved to pay remains somewhat blurry, perhaps myself. I took a girlfriend, someone much younger than myself with the express purpose and intent of cheating on her. Did so, and made sure she found out. Spent weeks feeling as dignified as a toilet drain.

    It'll get better Joanna!

    Love, Eric

  • Joyzabel


    I'm so sorry for your despare, but HELL lady, you are one talanted writer!

    You know you have friends here who sympathize and share your pain, but don't cut short your talents. You raise your standard, you are worth it!


  • Thunder Rider
    Thunder Rider

    Jo: I'm very sorry. I agree with Thunder I let him know from the git-go I was NOT like my Mother and would NEVER tolerate infidelity of any sort even meeting someone for coffeeI on the other hand also make sure that he knows I am easy but only for him. Always emphasise that little part some men can think otherwise. Also next relationship tell the man from the start that Thunder has a sword and is NOT afraid to use it LOL

    *SHIT* This is SheilaM not Thunder

  • czarofmischief

    Cheating is fun. Stolen grapes are sweet. Nobody misses a slice off a cut loaf.

    You are just buying into the Judeo-Christian monogamy "one-flesh" myth.

    Just hit that schiznit whenever you can git it!


  • Maverick

    Sorry for your pain, J. When I was a married man I was very careful about never straying. I wish the wife was too! But, such is life. So men don't have the market cornered on unfaithfulness. I will admit I'm not so single minded as a single person. Did this fellow claim to be exclusive? Did he really care about you? I'm not trying to bust your chops, just see things from the other side of the fence. If and when I find someone I really care about I'll behave. So maybe you two were not on the same page. Some men get scared when they think the woman is getting real serious and so they screw up. Better to see this sooner than later. Be true to yourself, don't let this guy turn you into someone you really don't like. I'm not trying to sound cold, I guess I'm just numb from my own experience. I'll never let someone have that kind of power over me again! Maverick

  • GentlyFeral


    Men have many reasons for cheating and I don't understand them all, but maybe you were too nifty for him and he wanted to distance himself from all that blinding glory?

    Oh hell, maybe he just wanted to put you in yr place, woman!

    Still sucks ass anyhow. My suggestion:

    KEEP those lacy bras & panties. Model them for the camera. Show him the pics and whisper in his ear, "You ain't gettin' none."


  • tyydyy


    Men are pigs. But then I think women should be pigs with them. If for no other reason than I've heard that pigs can have one hour orgasms.

    I would say that if the man was truly in love with you or thought that your relationship was strong enough to last forever, he wouldn't have cheated. It's not a reflection on you. It just means that he wasn't able to communicate his true feelings. There has to be some chemistry that tells a man he's in the right place. It's not as simple as adding up the good qualities and weighing them against the bad. If that were the case then we could all find mates by using a matchmaker or letting our parents or a computer program choose for us. I'm sure you are a wonderful person and you shouldn't view the "cheating" as a judgement of you. It doesn't even make him an evil person, in my opinion. Just someone who didn't know how else to deal with the situation. I could be wrong. It could be that he just didn't respect you or himself enough to honor a commitment but I'll bet that it would hurt worse if he just came to you and said that it was over because he wanted to try to find something else.

  • SixofNine

    Jo, what if he saw your comment to me in this thread, ?

    I accept, btw. *extends ring finger*

  • berylblue

    Jo, you are just so beautiful. I've said this before; I mean it then as now.

    I'm so sorry.

    You are one fabulous, intelligent, witty, beautiful woman. You will find somone worthy of you.

    This man, apparently, not.

    "I'm aware of the treasure that I hold". (Wonderful, Wonderful - don't know who wrote it but Johnny Mathis did one version)

    Don't settle until you find a man who tell you that, tells others that...and means it.


  • JeffT

    Thunder, you hold him and I'll hit for awhile, then we'll trade places. I don't know what guys like that are looking for, but they'll never find it. Reading Jo's desciption of herself, I'm thinking this a the woman most men fantasize about.

    For the record I've NEVER cheated, even before I was married, and that was 29 years ago and counting.

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