Hello, this is my first post

by noralee 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • Pistoff
    Welcome to the forum!
  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once


    now is free

    has come to see

    we ain't bad

    tee hee.

    Dumb I know but what the heck. Very pleased for you and looking forward to your sharing more info that others will benefit from. Don't be so hard on yourself. We were told to be like children when we studied because children are humble. Well, we know what they allow to happen to children. Its no wonder they abused us spiritually.

  • Finkelstein

    Welcome to the forum Noralee, yes the WTS handling of child sex abuse situations has been disturbingly irresponsible and shameful as well.

    There are other points of deceiving corruption in the WTS. not surprising being that its main focus is literature proliferation.

    Look forward to reading more of your personal comments.

  • Heartsafire

    Wow, good for you to do the research and get out with your family! Welcome to the forum:-).


  • Darkknight757
    Welcome. It's great to hear your family is out too! Now you can truly live life!
  • park ave boy
    park ave boy
    Hi and welcome! How long ago did you walk away?
  • The Searcher
    The Searcher
    Welcome NORALEE. I hope your new road in life is a smooth one.
  • pbrow


    Welcome. I felt the same way but please realize your years were not wasted. Those years have made you the person you are today. Live and learn and move forward.


  • breakfast of champions
  • LisaRose

    Welcome Noralee, I am happy to see another new person here. I am sorry you feel you can never forgive yourself, I have struggled with this feeling myself, seeing my adult children deal with life's problems and wondering if they would have an easier time if I hadn't raised them in a soul sucking cult. How can you not feel guilty about that? But you must forgive yourself, you really must. Not just for yourself, although that is important, but for you family and so that this sick religion doesn't steal another minute of your precious time and energy, don't let them win.

    We were manipulated and used and it was NOT your fault. It has happened to a lot of good, intelligent people, and you and I are no better, but also no more at fault than they. Keep remembering that you did find your way out, while many others are still stuck inside, so give yourself some credit. Guilt can be a useful emotion, it's what tells us that we did something wrong, but once you have done all you can to fix your mistake and make amends it can become a negative thing, it keeps you from fully embracing your life as it is now and holds you back from being your best self. If your children had joined this cult instead of you, would you want them to feel guilty about it for the rest of their lives? Of course not, you would want them to move on and heal and you should want the same thing for yourself.

    One long lasting effect of being in a toxic religion like the JWs is how worthless they make you feel. You were told for years that you were never good enough, your own desires are suspect, your own needs are not important, you only exist to fill the needs of Jehovah (but in reality the needs of the borg). Well, here is a secret it took me a while to figure out; sometimes it's good to be selfish! Sometimes you need to be a little selfish to take care of your own needs and do what you have to do to live your best life.

    I highly recommend two things for those struggling with difficult emotions, meditation and journaling. Journaling is useful for getting your thoughts up and out. Just sit down every day and write, no filters, no purpose, just write, write write. Julia Cameron, in her book The Artists Way, recommends this for unlocking the creativity we all have in us, and even if you are not an artist, we all need to be creative to be our best self, don't we? I like to do a page a day, after a time you will see a pattern emerge, and start seeing why and how these guilt feeling pop up, and it will help you stop that negative thinking.

    Meditation is also very good at calming the mind and learning to think in more positive ways. It also offers serious, proven health benefits, I have been able to keep my blood pressure under control without medication, simply by meditating for a few minutes every day. I also find it makes me more organized and productive for the rest of the day, so it's time well spent and has been life changing for me.

    Lisa 🌹

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