My initial pangs of unease and doubt led me to research some things. Well, a lot of things really. I've never felt comfortable using the bible to try to calculate dates (1914). And im confident that at least 90% of JW's cant explain the 1914 calculation off the top of their head. That worried me. Because Gods word to humans should be easy to understand shouldn't it?
So, i research. I dig. I uncover bits here and there. Not only do i see that the 1914 idea wasn't even Russel's idea, but it originated from someone else, in fact another religion.
Then i uncover the fall of Jerusalem was a different date altogether.
Then i discover a, quite recent, letter from the UN showing the JW's have fellowship. Then they left that fellowship.
Then i notice there wasn't a governing body in Russel/Rutherfords day even though the WT will use the term governing body back then.
So the central beliefs of this religion have come crashing down. How can i still go along with it?
It feels like someone has died. I feel sad. And i cant tell anyone because I'd be kicked out in bad standing. Come to think of it, it's impossible to leave with your reputation in tact. People dont just "stop going", they "become weak and fall away". Or they "leave Jehovah".
So here i am. My wife knows i dont believe it anymore and what do i tell her? If i show her what i've found i'll be an "apostate". We have no outside friends or family. And honestly i dont know whats out there.
Has anyone else felt this low after discovering TTATT?