Coming out of the closet/Blowing my cover/My story and I'm sticking to it!

by HadEnuf 60 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Candlestick02

    Thanks HadEnuf. Yes, I truly did find another good man. He's absolutely wonderful and taught me that I could love again. Most importantly he saw that I wasn't the 'judmental' person that the JW's were supposed to make me be.. and I saw him for him. This whole experience really helped make my transition out of the borg.

    LeslieV: Thanks. I DO feel welcome here. I really enjoy the company of others who can relate and who can sympathize and/or empathize, cause they've been there too, or cause they've lived similar or worse circumstances.

    Drwtsn32: Yeah, it sucked that I had to live through all of that. . . cause believe me, I haven't even begun to tell you some of the stories. . . BUT, I'm happy that I overcame them . . .because I wouldn't be where I'm at now.

    Good thread.

  • badolputtytat

    Hadenuf and Candlestick... I listened to both of your stories (text-to-speech engine),

    Amazing... both of them. Welcome, and I hope you both find as much help and comfort as I have found here.... (just ignore me sometimes.... I tend to be... different? shall we say?) But welcome, and I hope you find what you are looking for...

    And umm Hadenuf.... I would love a chance to go through your old library before the rats get to it... there is more evidence in there than you can imagine! PLEASE take care of it... it might come in handy one day for you.


  • HadEnuf

    puttytat...hmmmm...maybe we should save that old stuff. We have watchtowers going back to the early 1900's (or maybe even earlier); never really looked them over. Guess I was too busy reading all the new light...cough, cough, hack, hack. It did come in handy though. We have it stacked in back of my potting table and one day one of my tools flipped out of my hands and flew back there and was saved by a, I think it was an old bible story book. I think that was the best thing they ever did for me because I didn't have to move that old heavy potting table and confront probably thousands of spiders and other creepycrawlies.'re right...that literature might just come in handy some day! Cathy L.

    Sorry Garnet...I meant to say your husband, not your boyfriend when talking about the drunk driver. And is he doing okay???? I sure hope so.

  • berylblue


    What a story! My heart goes out to you.

    I am so glad you are here.


  • CruithneLaLuna

    ... at least, the "happy ending" part. Not that all of life is sweetness and light, certainly, but you sound strong and sure of yourself, and I feel certain that this is in stark contrast to many times in the past, when you were fully in the bOrg's control. I really want to print out your tale and send it to my kids. THey don't talk to me anyway; I doubt it will do any harm.



  • badolputtytat

    You are kidding right??? Girl, you gotta grab a can of bug-killer and a baseball bat, and go rescue those books.

    The society has told the dubs to discard all old material... when they put the new stuff on disc they conveniently omitted all proof of some serious things... like the blood issue, child abuse, judicial comittees and tons of other things.

    They have "wiped the slate clean" with the "new light"... all proof... vanished like a District Overseer after you buy him lunch!

    Anyway,. welcome again, and best wishes to you


  • SheilaM

    Candlestick: I am so glad that you found the happiness you were seeking

  • Panda

    HadEnuf (Cathy L), I believe we did know the Snyder's, but I'm not 100% sure. My little grey cells are aging. Some of the people we knew were Carlson's, Bruschi's, Gannon's, Nehring, Davies', Martin's, Ericson's, Katke's gosh a bunch more --- when we were in EAuClaire there was only one KH. Everyone was janitor's or maids. It was depressing. We did have some friends in Brodhead and went to that DC so we could stay with them. Their name was Blakslee. Ya' know we probably did meet somewhere sometime... yeah small world.Panda

  • Garnet


    Dont sweat it! He was my boyfriend at the time anyway. It has been almost 2 years and he is still going through surgeries. I will never forget that night in my life. The Elders showed up at the ER (his mom called them for support), they told me that he shouldn't have been drinking, he isnt a big drinker and he refuses to drink and drive. Right after that another ER Dr. walked in and said that he had NO ALCOHOL in his system (I smiled smugly to myself for being right). NOT ONCE did he recieve a phone call when he was home, NOT ONCE didn anyone stop by to see how he was doing, after 1 month he was much better and we were getting ready for our wedding, that is when the Elders decided that since he hadn't been making meetings regulary and we were spending "too much time together" they told us that not only could we not use the Hall to get married in, but the Elder that was going to give our talk said he did not feel that we were spiritually ready to be married and it would be best if we pushed the wedding off. This was less than 2 weeks before our wedding! I sat in that back room holding my husbands hand, balling my eyes out for 45 mintues after a late night meeting. I was tired, upset and never wanted to look at them again. That elder was one of the only ones who did not show to our wedding. He said we didn't have Jehovah's blessing and that our marraige just wouldnt be strong without him. Everytime I tell this story, people are truly amazed by the lack of love from the org. One thing that will bother me forever is that my 2 best friends were supposed to be in my wedding party, since they were not witnesses they were not allowed in, it kills me now to look back and know how much I hurt them, it made a mess of our friendships and I hope that someday they will forgive me. They say they are okay, but I know that it hurts.

    I better stop rambling on and on now ;) I hope that I will have the same courage that you and others have had to "come out" :)


  • HadEnuf

    First I need to acknowledge the kind thoughts from: Winston Smith, Blondie, Double Edge, Frannie Banannie, SheilaM, Scully, Panda (six at the wedding??? That just sucks!), ascot, Elsewhere (yes...I'm guilty as charged), refiner's fire, LeslieV, Tinkerbell4125, Shotgun, berylblue and CruithneLaLuna! Thank you for your responses. All this has caused me immense happiness and I had to get up after reading all these posts and do my happy dance. to your comment "grey cells aging"...boy do I know about that one! Every new grey hair I get means one more brain cell has bit the dust. And oh my...have I got A LOT of grey hair.

    puttytat...seems to me I sense some jealousy on the part of some members of this board that we are harboring such fine Watchtower material! (Maybe we could get a good price for it on E-Bay???) You've got a point there...a lot of that old stuff is coming back to haunt them. Maybe we should treat this material as we would a box of dy-no-mite...and keep it dry and safe in case we need it in our future pursuit of exposing the society for what they really are and not what they want others to believe they are.

    And now...I would like to add a few tidbits to my story that started this thread that in my haste to get the story down before my computer turned itself off (some may say a sign that God is trying to shut me up??) that I didn't mention.

    I hope you all don't mind me using you as cheap psychiatric care...unloading this stuff feels soooooooo good!

    At one time after we perceived that the elders were failing in their duties to get our son's fiance on the baptism wagon (she had been wanting to be baptized for over a year or more and they kept putting off the questions, etc. and ignoring her. She was not from a family related to the Big Guys and so on and so forth), my husband approached our PO and asked about her progress toward's baptism. He quickly gathered his trusty sidekick, brotherkissthepo'sa**, and cornered my husband (who asked to have our son go in with him but was denied) in the backroom (the infamous interrogation/torture chamber) and proceeded to tell him that it was "none of his business" and then ranted and raved and yelled at my husband for almost 45 minutes. All this witnessed by the aforementioned brotherkissthepo'sa**. Now in our minds...this was what is commonly referred to as a "fit of anger" which I don't think is supposed to be shown by elders. The brother present witnessing this outburst even told another elder friend of my husband's about this fit of anger. Low and behold though, when this came up in one of our many discussions about what had happened with the wedding...the fit of anger had now turned into "righteous indignation." How convenient. What a load of crapola.

    I did leave out the part of a half-hearted attempt at an apology to the kids. Two months after the wedding, after my husband had talked with the DO about the situation...he apparently urged or commanded the elders in the Stevens Point congregation (he let the Plover elders off the hook) to apologize to the kids for bungling the situation. So one Sunday morning after the meeting, without any foreknowledge or time to prepare for this momentous occasion, our two kids (now happily married) were ushered into the second school and surrounded by all the elders...apologized to with much weeping and gnashing of teeth. What a crock! The kids were caught off guard and didn't know what to say. The PO attempted to counsel the kids, but was shut down by another elder. So much for genuine repentance.

    Now don't you think if they sincerely felt sorry for what they did, they would make reparation's to ALL involved in this dastardly deed? No...none of the families were ever apologized to. The congregation was left in the dark about what really went talk was given to undo the damage done by the unscriptural "marking" talk. They walked away smelling like roses when my son's reputation had been left laying in the mud. They also did not show any "works befitting repentance"...the couple was avoided by the elders and have never once been invited to any elder's home for a meal or any other social activity. Hmfffffffffffffffffff!!!!!!! (But in actuality...this is a very good thing, but hurtful to them). show how bad the Stevens Point congregation was even before this happened... Not soon after the wedding fiasco, the society brought in three new elders to replace our PO and take over control of the congregation. When we asked these new elders if anything was going to be done about what these elders had done...the reply was that they were there to "Rehabilitate and refurbish" the elders and what was past was past!! We should try to be more forgiving. Needless to say...the new elders were almost immediately our other elder's new best friends! I guess birds of a feather do really flock together!

    And furthermore...the week after no one would attend our son's wedding...some of the elders attended a "worldly" wedding of a couple whose mother was a witness in the Plover congregation. They had been living together (OH MY) and were having a full-blown Lutheran service...tho not in a church. These elders and their wives had no qualms about attending this wedding/reception. The next month, in October, just about every single elder from Point and Plover attended a huge wedding down in Madison where underage drinking was rampant, the music was questionable (whatever that means) and there was body passing during the dancing (including the bride!). All these elders who morally could not attend my son's wedding participated in this drunken, out-of-control wedding reception. We left early because it was so unbelievable. Is that a double standard or what?

    Oh boy oh boy...guess I had better shut up now. But I think I've gotten most of it out. I apologize profusely for my moaning and complaining, but after 4 years I needed to unload this on someone other than my poor hubby. I know I could even add more to this; but you've probably heard it all before and worse; otherwise you wouldn't be here now would you???

    Gotta domestic duties are calling me. Hope you all have spectacular days! Cathy L.

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