Hi everyone, FreeAgent here, another ex-JWR addict.
Just want to throw out a few thoughts on behalf of the lurkers
& non-participants out there. Most from the JWR community won't
know my name though I'd been a member since early 2013. I haven't posted at all
since an early 3-month flurry so haven't lost the thousands of posts some
others have, but that doesn't mean I haven't been listening & benefiting
from the experience.
originally joined, having been a successful 20 year self-administered fader,
because I felt I could offer something to help any others on their path out of
the JW quicksand, maybe throw out some sage advice at a key moment of need to offer
hope & support. I'd never been much of an online forum guy, but liked JWR a
lot, as it seemed the "kinder, gentler" alternative to other angrier
sites at the time, focused on support & healing rather than dishing out
vitriol for its own sake. I was past that phase, but still felt the pull as
most of my family including grown kids were still in, & there's no real
escape in that situation. So, needing an outlet & a desire to contribute,
JWR suited me just fine.
Funny thing is, as I started to participate, I soon realized I was
not as "over that" as I had thought. I started to be the angry one in the
posts. Old resentments & wounds, issues I thought I had put to bed years
ago, morphed into bitter, preachy rants. When certain subjects were offered up
by well-meaning posters, the old
fangs would come out & I just started to sound like an ugly old
curmudgeon, the exact opposite of my original intent. So I stopped....
realized that I was
the one that needed support, and JWR gave that to me whether the admins knew it
or not. I stopped "helping"
& just listened. And learned. And grew. And changed.
It's never too late to do those things. I'm 57 as of this writing,
and only just now do I feel somewhat released from much of the pent-up anger
& resentment I had been holding on to. Just by lurking & listening.
Thanks to all the truly kind & mature folks at JWR who offered
their love & time when a newly damaged refugee would 1st post, asking for
help. Thanks Helen T, Lonepine, Shimmy, Fantome & all the rest. You showed
me how it's done.
Thanks for the depth & quality of your thoughts
and the willingness & courage to share. Many a time I’ve been blown away by
an idea or new piece of research I’d never considered from Bears, Borgia, Palimpsest,
TallullahB, Tree, Zebedee, the list goes on…..sometimes from those of tender
age (talking to you Jane M)….
Thanks to those who somehow have the stomach to keep ties to the Org
so we can receive inside info, often before the elders even know, and be
prepared for the after-effects. Special thanks to DS on this count, but Tony
Brock, 1Gen2Groups and many others have my eternal admiration for actually
doing this from inside the
belly of the beast.
Thanks for all the laughs Fugue, Queequeg, Gargamel & the rest
of you comedians. I need help keeping it light sometimes.
Thanks especially to all the JWR admins & mods, including (maybe
especially) Rifter & Moxie for the truly high quality work while it lasted. It must
have been a real chore to keep the experience balanced & mostly civil. You'll probably never get the recognition you deserve for what have must been thousands of hours of personal time & toil, but big kudos here from a humble lurker. Despite
your challenges there was always a comfortable, friendly feeling about that
site, and most members got the message early that the real goal was helping
people get whole, get healed & ultimately move on, just like some of you
seem ready to do now.
I’ll miss JWR. A lot. It felt like family even though I was like
that distant uncle who lives in the woods & never writes, but I’ll take
this transition in the “When one chapter ends another one begins” spirit.
Looking forward to settling in a new community here, and will give active
participation another shot. Really appreciate
the open-armed welcome Simon & giving us a place to land. Looks like many
have already made the same jump.
Till I’m ready to be an Ex-Ex myself…..