Message from Designer Stubble to the former JWR members

by Designer Stubble 123 Replies latest jw friends

  • notsurewheretogo

    Yeah...let the dust settle and run away like Rifter...avoid consequences...

    I appreciated the site, doing a great job running it for 8 years as Rifter did doesn't mean much when he pulls the plug without telling anyone...

    Our support of Rifter is no sentimental...he did a great job for 8 years...he did a real bad thing in pulling the plug without notice...those are the facts.

    We are allowed to voice our disapproval at the pulling of the plug...just like we commended Rifter for running it for 8 years.

    We commend you for being an admin...we again voice our disapproval though at the way it was shut admin/mods had the chance to say to Rifter it was not a good idea...

    Loyalty? Again there is nothing sentimental in this...I would be loyal to Rifter if I was an admin but I wouldn't be loyal and wouldn't keep quiet about the decision to pull the plug based on "loyalty"...

    Quite frankly I find that utterly unfathomable.

  • dubstepped

    Unfortunately human nature is such that a poor dessert experience can ruin a great meal. People tend to remember the final interaction, whether fair or not. Sounds like JWR took a big dump on the table to finish things off and for a while that will be the lasting impression. Too bad. Hopefully with time some can appreciate the journey they had as a lasting impression, but it's not likely when you leave a bad taste in someone's mouth.

  • Worldling9

    C'mon folks...DS doesn't deserve this. He came on here to try and do some damage control and some of you are being a bit extreme with your criticisms. As for Rifter...he screwed up. Never once did he claim to be a psychologist, however. HE kept the site going after someone else needed to get out. We all wish it had been done differently but maybe we should step back and get some perspective here. Nobody died, after all.



  • TimeBandit
    Worldling924 minutes ago

    "C'mon folks...DS doesn't deserve this. He came on here to try and do some damage control and some of you are being a bit extreme with your criticisms"

    What did they expect? I don't hate DS, but he was expecting this, thus agreeing to pull the plug. Cause and effect. I've simmered down a bit now. Truly, I'm thinking of the ones who needed JWR and suddenly it was gone. That's all. What he's doing now doesn't help. So why bother?

    Mickey, I apologize for possibly upsetting you. Please know I have nothing against you. No ill will. I'm sorry if it felt like I was attacking you. Didn't mean it that way. But this is a forum, where we can opine and discuss things, even if some people do not like it. Things need to be said, that's all I'm saying.


  • jwundubbed
    > Nobody died, after all.

    Grief is grief, loss is loss and as we exJWs all know, someone doesn't have to physically die for that grief and loss to be felt. People lash out when they are hurt. This is normal behavior. It is especially normal for people who have suffered abuse. It doesn't feel right to a lot of people, but that does not make the feelings and reactions wrong.

    Personally, I feel like the admin are similar in some ways to the GB or to any governing body of a community in terms of being in the spotlight and what they 'deserve' as such. They became the authorities of the group. They took on the responsibilities that came with hosting, owning, and moderating a social community. This put them in the spotlight. It put them in a place where people can look to them for guidance be it technical, emotional, spiritual, etc. It also put them in a place to be judged for their actions, reactions, and choices... especially when those choices affect their community. To then say that they don't deserve to have the light shown on them and their responsibilities brought out into the open to be discussed by the very people they have cut off for their own selfish benefit is naive. I don't feel that the admins deserve to be personally attacked. But I do believe that they deserve to be held accountable for their actions and to take responsibility for whatever fallout they receive. It was within their capability to lessen rather than to increase that fallout. Instead of facing the music that they were bound to face no matter what, they chose to hide their heads in the sand and run away. I personally believer that each and every one of them deserves to hear the pain they have put people through.

    If you want balance then you have to take the good with the bad. If you force everyone to behave well, and only well... then no one gets to deal with their problems, the problems fester, and positive outcomes are rare. What you are seeing is the reactions of people who have been harmed, to great and to little extents each according to their individual needs and personalities. It isn't wrong. If it is uncomfortable to you, you might consider doing some self analysis to find out why it makes you uncomfortable to be confronted with people being open and honest about their negative feelings and reactions.

    I, personally, feel that those people who are talking out their frustrations, anger, and pain are doing a very healthy thing. I think that any admin from that other site who is reading the reactions or even contributing to the conversation is doing their part in holding themselves accountable for their actions. And yes, they do deserve what they are getting. And I also think it is absolutely right for the former members of that other site to hold those people accountable for a gross negligence in their responsibilities. Damage control is moot once the damage has been done as it has in this case. Damage control after the fact speaks to a persons guilt, regardless of if that guilt is external or internal. The time to do damage control ended the moment they took action without taking any steps to prevent or limit damage being done in the first place. Attempting to spin a positive cast over a heap of hurt is wrong.

    If that other site was just a social network like any other, I would feel entirely different. It was a support forum with a focus on recovery. What they did was wrong, and being faced with the consequences of their reprehensible actions is valid and just.

  • sweetgrass


    I totally agree with everything you said and very well put. Thanks

  • sweetyj

    I am thankful for everyone at jwr. The site was my go to place for being able to figure things out. I was just about to post something a few seconds ago only to see the message pop up about jwr being closed :(. For those ready to be ex-ex jws, I wish you good luck.

  • Bonsai

    I was thinking of branching out to JWR. Glad I didn't waste my time over there! I think the way they cruelly shut it down with such cold calculation shows you what kind of people were running that site. How very JWish of them!

    I also think that those mods and administrators who came over here to apologize and take feed back shows you that they are quality people. Think about it, they could just walk away never to be heard from again. But they come over here, express their regrets, take their lumps and bow out with humility. I can respect that!

  • 2badsosad

    This thread was/is hard for me to read. I normally run from confrontation and disagreement. But I'm learning as I go through therapy and through my recovery that I need to face my emotions and fears head on and experience them for what they are. So I've decided not to do what my JW instincts tell me which is to run. And that's essentially the only purpose for my additional post here. I want to commend DS for coming here and explaining, and trying to do something to buy the JWR members some time. Sad to hear Rifter doesn't want to entertain any options. I can't understand Rifter's decisions. I'm not in his mind and without hearing from him I can only agree that he's made a mistake in how he handled the shutdown. People expressing their reactions is an important part of grieving their loss, and the blow back shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Especially when it's coming from a group of people like us who've already been damaged by a harmful cult.

  • StarryNight9

    It was scary to see the only place I say what I'm really thinking/feeling go down in flames, but I get the decision. The only reason I wish we'd had some warning, is to figure out what people's new usernames on the other sites are. Has anyone started a thread where people just list their old JWR username next to their one here (and other sites)? I figure that I'll meet new people and eventually settle in. Sometimes I just need a place to vent about my fader life where it can't come back to bite me. I also like tips on how to celebrate holidays and other non-JW things I never learned.

    - StarryNight9 (StarryNight from JWR)

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