Just need to vent a little

by Phoebe 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • ToesUp


    I had a sister (Elders wife) criticize my dress and look several years back. I literally tore her a new one. Lol She was speechless and embarrassed. Don't let people insult you. You sound like an amazing person.

    There is a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "no one can criticize you without your consent." I love that one.


  • Phoebe

    Thanks, everyone. I knew you would make me feel better!

    ToesUp - love that quote. One to remember.

    Magnum - you made me laugh out loud. The crazy thing is, I only got it done last week. Guess she didn't like it. Perhaps the JWs are going to come up with approved hairstyles, you know, like in N.Korea!

  • Giordano
    and on and on and on about how me not going to the meetings was disobeying Jehovah.

    Could they show you one scripture that says Jehovah thinks your disobeying him by not attending meetings?

    She even told me to 'get my hair done' because my current style was 'not me' and to sort myself out and get back to the meetings asap because I needed to be obedient to Jehovah.

    This is a good example of how the JW conflates grooming and dress as an important part of their faith. Note how the Amish and extreme Orthodox Jewish faiths apply the same standards. You see the same thing with people heading into a church wearing their 'Sunday best'. It's how you look that's important.

    Witnesses get very confused when you don't look like them.

    on and on about how she'd dealt with bad times but it was getting back to Jehovah that helped her and how I still had a good heart and I would be in paradise but I NEEDED TO GET BACK TO THE MEETINGS!!!

    Why??? What are you going to learn at the meetings.....their latest version of new lite? New rules, their need for contributions?

    What the JW's have accomplished is that they have turned their god into a pet. One that is very happy to see you, who needs to be fed and taken for a walk on a regular basis..

    Continue to fade, continue to believe in yourself. Do good things when you can.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Tell her she is right, you do need a different hair style. Tell her you are toying with the idea of a Mohawk. The only thing stopping you is whether to make it blue or pink.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    To be fair some of them have been extremely sweet and kind, particularly one brother who is the most christian person I've ever met. He's just moved back into my congregation and he wanted to just call and say hello and he really is a lovely, kind person.

    When a Buddhist who lives in China is sweet and kind and a Muslim from Turkey treats his wife and children well, is he said to be acting "Christian"? It's funny how Christians and JW's in particular, on a certain level of consciousness, believe being good and kind is limited to Christians and is proof that they are the true religion.

    I can't tell you how many times I left that place in tears at the coldness shown me. So why the sudden bombardment??

    Jehovah's Witnesses are not a live and let live religion where people are encouraged to have a relationship with God in their own individual way. A lot of them want to see you doing what they are doing because it validates them. My guess is that this is because they are one misplaced thought away from straying themselves and it makes them nervous to see something or someone out of place. People who can barely control themselves figure everyone else is the same way and they project their insecurities onto others and try to control them in an effort to make themselves feel safer. It probably makes them feel abandoned when they see people leaving and it makes them question themselves. It's easier to jump in and try to undo the change they see in someone else, rather than look inward, which can be scary if you haven't done it in awhile (or ever).

    IMHO, their visits are mostly about them, rather than out of concern for you.

  • dubstepped

    Here's another quote for you Phoebe, not sure who it came from but "we teach people how to treat us". That quote woke me up to the realities of how I contributed to some of the mistreatment that I allowed socially. You seem like a super sweet person. I encourage you to love yourself enough to not be a doormat for what are essentially bullies. Believe me, they are getting built up by putting you down. It's time to instill boundaries for yourself. Touching you is a power move, doing it and then putting you down is doubly so. They shouldn't be allowed to do either, or even be in your home.

  • Diogenesister

    I'm guessing you are a single woman, or married to a non-believer. Watchtower has single women to burn...that's why they couldn't care a less.

    Its probably taken them this long to notice you gone, or rarther your service time gone...I think 6 months of no service time and your considered inactive.

    Maybe the weather isn't too good ( too hot or too cold) so they needed to get their time in indoors - and thought you'd at least invite them in.

    If I were you, that is if you have no JW relatives you are concerned about, I would tell them just how cold, cruel and unChristian they have been toward you.

    This post is truly upseting and I am so very very sorry you have been treated so shabbily. I hope you find friends and happiness in your cult free life.

    Meet up.org is a good place to find New friends, as is volunteering. I wish you ALL the very best.💓

  • Finkelstein

    I can't tell you how many times I left that place in tears at the coldness shown me. So why the sudden bombardment??

    answer = because its a cult that indoctrinates its members to get new members or real-in stragglers who used to attend.

    The Kingdom Halls and the literature the JWS distribute contain the lies and fear mongering the Watchtower makes up, which further instigates people to give up their money and labor to the WTS.

    The WTS instructs its devoted members (JWS) to not associate (socialize) with anyone who is not a JWS in good standing, even their own family members if need be.

    The corruption is complete, the WTS retains its members who are then mentally manipulated and coerced to do what the WTS wants. $$$

    By the way what the WTS wants goes out of bounds of what preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ is about or how to preach the Gospel from Jesus's own words.

    The WTS. therefore truly is a Corporation of Corruption to serve its own needs and means.

  • ToesUp

    Magnum hit the nail on the head with his post.

    We were told recently that our life may not be bad yet but it will get bad. You see, they (WT) has it and YOU don't. lol

  • LongHairGal


    Sorry to hear that you have been visited by the busybodies! Yeah, Witnesses have loads of nerve and are the controlling-est people I have ever met. They are filled with unwanted suggestions about your dress and appearance.

    One poster mentioned you should never let them in your house. You shouldn't let this happen again...You are only going to be cornered and disrespected, and on your own premises, to boot. Don't answer the door and screen calls!

    As other posters have said: they are having no luck in the ministry so they are targeting inactive ones. They figure it's easier to get an inactive one back than to convert a totally new one.

    I'm lucky they never came after me but I suppose I told enough people that all they want is money and women to do favors and they'll get neither from me. So, why would they bother?

Share this