Just need to vent a little

by Phoebe 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • Phoebe

    In the last week I have had THREE visits from brothers. So 6 witnesses in all as they come in pairs. Now considering I used to go to the meetings, sit by myself and literally no one talked to me - EVER - why the concern all of a sudden?

    To be fair some of them have been extremely sweet and kind, particularly one brother who is the most christian person I've ever met. He's just moved back into my congregation and he wanted to just call and say hello and he really is a lovely, kind person. I almost felt that if every witness was like him how lovely it would be...but that's another story.

    BUT the sister today, although she did the whole hug/we care about you spiel, went on and on and on and on and on and on about how me not going to the meetings was disobeying Jehovah. They read me a scripture when they left. She even told me to 'get my hair done' because my current style was 'not me' and to sort myself out and get back to the meetings asap because I needed to be obedient to Jehovah.

    I did not want to go into detail as to why I stopped going as it's none of her business but I did say I have an anxiety disorder and she went on and on and on about how she'd dealt with bad times but it was getting back to Jehovah that helped her and how I still had a good heart and I would be in paradise but I NEEDED TO GET BACK TO THE MEETINGS!!! I was as nice as possible and I do know their intentions are good but I went for years on my own and I had no friends there. No one gave a flying fig about me. I was not part of the big clique that's in my congregation and my kids went to university (so that made me worse than a serial killer) I can't tell you how many times I left that place in tears at the coldness shown me. So why the sudden bombardment??

    Thank you for listening to me vent. I had to get it off my chest!

  • joe134cd

    I was an active publisher for 4 decades. Although I never openly expressed my reasons for leaving (Yup I'm an apostate) only 3 people could be bothered to knock on my door. 2 of those 3 people left me with Magazines so go figure on that one. Not one elder visit nothing. To this day I really don't know how to take it. As an insult at just how little I meant to them or as compliment as it saved me having to deal with them. Now I just think I'm lucky.

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    So why the sudden bombardment??

    Maybe it's because the alleged "witnessing for Jehovah" (not Christ) and "trolley zombieism" aren't effective on worldly people in the developed world, so inactive J.W.'s are a good alternative target, especially as it will mean being invited into a house. And it makes the "witnessing" J.W. feel oh so much more spiritually superior as they highlight the inactive one's perilous condition.

    Next time, take the 5th. Just say you've got to deal with things which you can't talk about right now. No need to give them "excuses." Make it clear that you can't/won't discuss your "problems."

    Pffft! Everyone should know by now that the holy trinity of the WTBTS, the G.B. & the Kingdom Hall are essential for salvation at Armageddon. (or maybe just a bunker!)

  • tiki

    That religion is the cause of anxiety disorders...not the cure. And for someone to come into your home and tell you to change your hairdo is absolutely outrageous!!! They just have a complete lack of understanding of social proprieties and where to draw the line!! I think your best bet is to not surrender to any future visitations. Do what you choose and ignore the nosey self righteous door knockers.

  • ToesUp

    They call it lovebombing. The JW's are not having any success in converting new ones. They have to rely on the born ins and get the "weak" back.

    I had the same thing happen. It's bizarre!

  • Phoebe

    Yes, I think her telling me to change my hair upset me the most! I got the feeling she thought since I'd stopped going 'I'd let myself go' She even reached over and touched my hair and said (her exact words) 'and get this done. It's not you'' Cheeky cow.

  • eyeuse2badub

    I was an elder in our most recent congregation for over a decade. I resigned due to personal reasons and less than a year later I was inactive and have remained inactive ever since. I have had one brother express and interest in "what's up" with me. Other than that, I am treated as a regular jw when I periodically attend the kh with my wife. No visits from the "2 elders" nor from the CO to try and bring me back into the fold?

    We live in a pretty liberal area in California so nobody really cares.

    just saying!

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Cheeky cow is right!! That is audacious.... "Get it done, it's not you!" Ha!

    I would be steaming too!


  • scratchme1010

    I hope you feel better. It's very upsetting to have a person coming to your house to criticize you that way. How stupid of her.

  • Magnum

    "I do know their intentions are good."

    I really don't know about that. I feel that in a way the intentions of some of them are good, but they are self-righteous and condescending, even if they don't realize it. Even the JW male you described as being kind is condescending - even if naively and ignorantly.

    Think about it. They think they are right and that everybody else (including you) is wrong. They think they are in a position of great light with their magnificent seven members of the GB (faithful and discreet slave). They view you as being weak and in need of them and what they have. They are clueless to the fact that we are not weak, but have had the strength to truly examine and think for ourselves and break free from their ridiculous, falsely prophesying cult with its crazy, embarrassing history and current craziness. They are clueless to the fact that we have so much evidence against them and that they would be pulverized in a discussion with us. The org knows they wouldn't stand a chance against us, and that's why it has trained them to run from those of us who oppose them (evidently you haven't really opposed them yet).

    So, in their eyes, they are right, they are saved, they are in the light, they have the one and only truth. You are puny, weak, lost, and in need of them and the wonderful, life-saving spiritual banquet emanating from the seven Magnificent Ones. They are reaching out, actually stooping down from their high position to attempt to lift you out of your lowly position.

    Now, if only you'll do something with your hair and get on back to the meetings, you can be up there with them in the light. You can sing their new songs, watch their new cartoons, watch their wonderful, stimulating monthly broadcasts, anticipate every word that rolls off the tongues of the Magnificent Ones. You can share in fellowship with them. You can learn enlightening doctrine such as that about the overlapping groups generation. Oh, you poor, dear lost soul, get back to those meetings!

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