Just need to vent a little

by Phoebe 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • hybridous

    This will ultimately be a test of your will and endurance.

    If you can weather the discomfort in the short term, you will outlast them. Their 'concern' for you will prove remarkably short-lived, especially if you don't throw them a bone by expressing any interest in the religion.

    If you are trying to maintain relationships with believing JWs at the same time...now that could be working against you, because you would be continuously exposing yourself to their agenda.

    If someone offends you in your own home, telling them so may have a chilling effect.

  • carla

    Is there some reason you must open the door to these people? Pretend you are not at home or in bed,shower, on your way out the door.....etc...... they don't have to know you are simply driving around the block to get rid of them. You are not obligated to answer phone calls either, let it go to voice mail. Avoid, avoid, avoid if you you can't tell them to piss off.

  • Crazyguy

    It's just their job, their encouraged to go to ones homes that have stopped going to try and get you back. Of course if they think your an apostate they'll avoid you like the plague . So yes if you go back they may live bomb you for a minute then it will go right back to the way it was .

  • Phoebe


    I'm married but I've been at the meetings on my own for nearly 20 years now. Husband used to be a RP/MS but left. He just plain burnt himself out. No one cared. He never got any visits.

    So, I've been attending on my own for a long, long time. I studied with the kids but gave them the choice and none of them wanted to be JWs and went off to university. Strangely, they've all become upright citizens contributing to society and all have good jobs and fine reputations. (i'm being sarcastic as y'know we're told uni will turn them into evolution believing, drug addicts with morals of alley cats) But them going to uni pretty much made everyone in the congregation think I was bad association. I literally walked a mile to and from the hall on my own for years, in all weathers. Cars going to hall passed me. Get there, sit on a entire row on my own, no one would speak much. Maybe one or two might say hello.One sister was nice to me when she was there. I ticked all the boxes - ministry/answer up etc. But still everyone so cold towards me. Walked out of there nearly 5 months ago and haven't been back since.

    Dubstepped - I think you are right. I think I give them permission to treat me badly. My psychologist said that, too.

    I won't let them in next time.Husband says we should get one of those doorbells with a camera.

    Anyway, thank you all so much for your advice and concern. I really appreciate it. It helps enormously being able to talk to someone.


  • Phoebe


    I'm not going back. Luckily no family in - well, none that I care about anyway. I can't unring that bell, as they say. I'm determined. I honestly don't think I could go into a KH ever again. They'll get bored soon, hopefully ;)


    I work from home so am always in but husband says we're going to put a note on the door from now on.

  • LV101

    Call her up at a time she won't answer to leave a message -- maybe midnight - if it's easier for you under the circumstances of this distressing situation, but be prepared if she, in fact, answers, and advise her, out of kindness and empathy, you're recommending a few hairdressers for HER - let the names of a few salons. WTH, just say the Vidal Sassoon salon has trained pros (she might at least recognize that name!) in your area and name one more local salon. Just let it rip on your message. Tell her you can't wait to see her new do (how she'll look yrs. younger!) and you'll chat soon! Of course, never talk to her again and smile, wave and run if you do see her! Have some fun with the disordered character!! Ones I knew cut their own hair because according to them the real hair stylists just didn't know what they were doing - hard to believe! They can't afford a good stylist and go to inexpensive ones -- which is fine because there is talent out there -- but jus sayin. I'd also recommend a good makeup artist and spa for her.

    Guess you can tell I have their game down!

    These people berate and pound on decent human beings. Believe me, you weren't the only one that 'couldn't' fit into their loser clique(s).

  • LV101

    Forgot to start my paragraph above with the fact she didn't think you'd let yourself go but was trying to use her gift of power to manipulate and intimidate you to run out and take her advice. This behavior makes these covert aggressive animals more arrogant and confident. This is her Step 1 assignment and Step 2 getting you back to the hall. They've had lots of vics at the hall to practice on.

    Keep care!

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Phoebe, i can relate.

    Before we disa'd, there was a group of three sisters at our door one morning. I recognized one of the women - we were close friends with her and her husband, way back when. They had dropped us like rotten potatoes when we started helping our daughter try to get her child back from her jw ex-husband. All of a sudden she's showing up at my house?! NO. I looked through the window at them as I walked past the door, and they could see me too. I went into the kitchen, never opened the door.

  • Phoebe

    LV101 - Great post - thank you!

    Iown Mylife - I shall follow your lead and not open the door. This sister today, barely spoke to me at the hall, yet shows up telling me I'm being disobedient and new a new hair do! Honestly, you couldn't make it up, could you??

  • LV101

    Phoebe - keep us updated re/the Watchtards.

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