Xena -- i would be happy to do just number 1 for you
real life sex sex question
Jesus Christ!! another topic about sex! And most of the posts are from these poor women whose hubbys are smelly,disgusting blobs of flesh who are only concerned about rattling off a batch! If the man turns you off that much, pull the pin and and leave!! Its really quite simple. Men are not that hard to satisfy just show an interest and don`t lay there like a old bathrug. Women seem to bitch and moan about the same things all the time," can`t stand the sight of him but will still live here because he is a hard worker and I`m comfortable" BULLSHIT ! If your husband is a smelly, smoke ridden waste of skin, well, you know what to do, quit whining about it and leave!! And for all those who SEEM to think their BIT of advice has never been heard before (" Just bend over the counter and drive it home") WHOO! HOO!! Dr. Phil did you you hear that? What a revelation! I think I will try that...yawn.. Men can and will be pigs...thats our nature,but as a man I get a little tired about hearing all these women who love complaining but do nothing about the situation.And the same goes for men whose wives think its alright to hold back, again man, if its that bad show her to the curb!! Grow some balls!! And as far as Tony Robbins goes, everyone has it in them to do what he says but some people seem to think spending 39.95$ is the key ...
uuummm but I wouldn't be happy with you doing JUST a number 1 stillajwexelder
Hey, jerk, who do you think you are? You know nothing about us women. "Men are not that hard to satisfy" ... Women are not that hard to satisfy ! We want sex and intimacy as much as the boys, but it's kind of a put off if you come to bed dirty and stinking... Are you saying that we women have to just accept that as an unimportant little misshap ? Men, show some interest in the family life and house chores from time to time, that's a great turn on you know! And guess what? Not everybody will separate or divorce just because her partner hasn't taken a shower or smokes...
"Just show an interest..." That goes for men too, you Jerk!
Well, and I thought I was the only one...I feel a self help group forming...
I think it's easy to find quick soloutions when you're on the outside looking in... the problem with a marriage like mine is that one day you finally realise that it's undermined your confidence.
I am confident in my social life, my work life and at college; I also have a business, but in my marriage I allow myself to be regulated by his thoughts about me.
The problem for me is that after years of not being wanted you start to believe you're just unwantable, then it's very easy to feel that the problem is yours...sometimes someone pays you alot of attention and you always assume it's just politenessness and don't realise until later that they were interested in you as a person; you're not used to that kind of attention ; it also makes you dismissive of compliments which means you're always putting yourself down.
DM, I can understand your worries where the children are concerned-my husband is a great father and my children would be devistated not to live with him anymore and I worry that I would be seen as the one who destroyed everything.So i've stuck it out for a long, long time now .
I too am reaching the same conclusions as the two of you - but with the same nagging doubts.
only times I am not interested in sex is when I am sick or in pain, or he smells. And I mean everything from bad breath to stinky feet with a special emphasis in the middle of those two locations. No excuse to not shower or brush your teeth--that is just lazy. So if for some reason he decided that he did not want sex (I would know he was insane)the marriage would be over. Maybe not the friendship--but definitely the marriage.
Sometimes a woman denies her husband sex, not because he smells bad, but because she suffered sexual abuse as a child, and feels a revulsion toward men in general. Certainly, such abuse is NOT the woman's fault - she is clearly a victim. Unfortunately, not all victims of such abuse seek counselling, or reject it because it comes from 'worldly' sources. These problems are not always clearly communicated to the prospective mate before marriage. The result could be a sexless marriage if the woman decides to marry in spite of her revulsion toward men.
I'm only out of my twenties and have a difficult time getting the machinery working. We have good memories of adventurous sex with all kinds of food and locale, and I know she remembers that and wonders where it all went. I feel bad, sometimes very bad, that I can't fulfill my wife's needs as easily, so I just try to be mindful of other ways to keep her happy. And a lot of that can come from just the intimacy of talking and sharing a good laugh, and keepign the mind young even if the body goes other places.
I have a question for the forum: Just because miracle intimacy drugs are available, is there some moral obligation to take them if nature isn't doing what it used to? Or is it morally upright to just take nature as it has occured, and do things as you're able? In other words, is it reprehensible to not be a sex machine if the technology and means is out there?
welcome to the forum sarcen! :)
In other words, is it reprehensible to not be a sex machine if the technology and means is out there?
i'd say this is up to each individual's discretion. not everyone is comfortable with exploring the different options that are out there. but if there's a problem and you're not willing to put forth the effort to rectify it, then maybe youre just not ready to be in an intimate relationship.
I'm only out of my twenties and have a difficult time getting the machinery working
u may have low testosterone, depression, thyroid problems, diabetes, any number of porblems. Go see a doc. U are way too young for the machinery just not to be working. Don't give up on a sex life this early. Couples in the 70-80's still have sex.