When you were fully in, did you believe that you would not die? (page 5)

@Mrs.Flipper

About people shunning their own adult kids "out of loyalty" for years - I have seen this lately.

Amazing, and disgusting.

ttdtt

Magnum - it really sucks doesn't it.

One of the great ironies for me - is that I was surrounded in the last few years I still attended with a number of "pioneers and Elders" who were Ultra Righteous. The funny part was that - besides being hypocrites in a number of ways - they decided to make their Spiritual Sacrifice AFTER they spent the bulk of their lives doing whatever the heck they wanted.

They built careers and made their money. They didnt pioneer - they missed meetings - did what they wanted elsewise - but then when it became very convenient for them (for one reason or another) they decided to be all for the great Dog Jah.

And as elder - I had to put up with their hypocrisy, trashing others for "not being spiritual enough" for "putting work or family first" and a bunch of other things they all did for decades, while I was doing everything I was suposed to do - sacrificing my life and time - and any kind of financial security for the future for myself and family.

Chook

I believed that in a twinkling of an eye me and my mates were to be riding horses that had the blood of dead enemies up to the chest. We weren't going to die we were going to be like God, indestructible immortality was bestowed apon us. O and the children we murdered we has no emotion toward their pain .God and I partied after.

Dunedain

I was a "born in", so in turn, I was fully indoctrinated to believe I would never die. I remember being very young, like 5 or 6 years old, and saying to my Dad, "WOW aren't we so lucky that we will be the first people, ever, to never die".

My Dad would agree, and we would feel great about it. However, as time passes on, and life, and the world changes around us, we start to realize that maybe this fairy tale is not true.

Like others have said, I heard many older JW's tell me they were never going to pass away, as the big A, was just around the corner. Like we all know, these older ones are long gone now.

Its funny, but the only times I ever step into my old Kingdom hall, or any Hall, is when one of those older ones passes away. Every time this happens, I am getting older, and older, and these older ones are getting less, and less.

Whats funny, is I stare straight at, and sometimes even say hello to, the "head" elder who DF'd me. It is VERY empowering to stand there, with my head held high, OVER 20 years later from being DF'd by this man, and the big A is still NOT here. All this man fought for, and all the people he judged, and hurt, and condemned, so far is for NOTHING.

We are all "equal" men, when death comes for us. This elder will, no doubt, still see me every few years, when someone older passes away from my childhood. He will still see me, as the big A will, no doubt, not be here. As the decades pass, everyone in this cult must realize that ALL they believed is certainly a sham. I will most likely be attending the elder who DF'd me's OWN funeral, in the near future. He will be gone, and forgotten, like the rest.

My Father, and Mother are both still alive. They truly believed that they would maybe never die, sadly, I know they do not think this any longer. They realize that we all, will most likely pass away, as did all before us. My parents were NOT narcicisstic people. They didn't believe they wouldn't die, out of some feeling that they were more special than other humans. Instead, it was from a sort of "romantic" thought, that life would just be too cruel, if a creature like humans, could contemplate their own existence, and have the desire and will to live forever, but yet had to die, in the end. My Father never wanted to except that this was, all for nothing. The thought of a loving creator, who would "balance" the scales, appealed to his sense of justice.

I feel bad for my parents as they grow older each year. Fortunatelly, they do NOT shun me, or my family, and their beautiful granddaughters. These are the things that keep us going, and help them thru, in their last days here on earth.

I can assure you, it would be a much more bitter pill for me to swallow, if I did not have my children. Thinking that you would never die, and then coming to the realization that you WILL, was hard for me. I am still grasping it. Having my 2 girls, and enjoying life, as best we can, as a family, has certainly softened the blow. To those that wanted children, and never had them, because of the policies of this evil CULT, you are the true victims. To me, once you reach the end of your child bearing years, and realize it was for nothing, must be one of the hardest things to endure. I truly feel for all those who have endured this.

Dagney

I am a born in whose parents came in the late 30's when da Judge was still alive. Living through the '75 debacle in my teens, I started to have doubts and couldn't figure out how the whole thing was ever going to work. The "dream" of paradise really sounded wonderful, and it was like we had this big secret we were all in on...and it was going to be great. But deep down inside, I had doubts.

That being said, it was still hard to let go of the dream...

Stuck in the middle37

Some years ago when I was "in" I use to give a talk entitled (can you live forever? will you?). It expressed the idea that man had with in his self, if everything was working properly, the means to live a long life or possibly forever. It was only the sin we inherited from our 1st parents that caused our life to end. We could transfer our parentage to Jesus as adopted children and keep living. I though also we might be living in a time of history when something could happen.
As time in the organ, past and things did not happening as they said, with teaching and doctrines changing I lost all faith in WT beliefs. The hope of living, however is a bible teaching not just a WT doctrine so I don't know if I have given up on that. Some days I think Yes other times or most times I just don't know. You might say I'm Stuck in the middle

zeb

When I was 'in' I understood that only when Christ returned death would be done away with. I never believed the not dying stuff. and I never heard the dying thing from anyone either. I guess Australians are more pragmatic.

All or nothing

This is an excellent topic... I was a born in and totally believed I would not die. One of my first doubts was why would I be priveledged to live forever just because I was born in...which led to the doubt that God would destroy non Jws...didn't seem like perfect justice to me... I agree with you dunedain it is really hard to swallow the society induced prohibition on having children and realizing that was a fatal mistake too late...problem for me now in my 40s is it too late? and I'm so screwed up about what I really believe- what would I teach a child- If I have no clue?? Children of the world are taught from a young age to accept death as a natural part of life...children raised in this cult as it was well said already are taught that it is a lack of faith... I really needed to hear that tonight because it makes me realize how very screwed up this cult is...thank you everyone for all your comments...I wish I could properly introduce myself and tell my story but I am not ready to be d-fed due to all our family in... 😔

life is to short

Magmun when you said these words it really hit home for me The irony is that I looked at some of my non-JW peers who were living life to the full, and I thought they were getting just a few years, whereas, I would have eternity. It turns out, though, that not only will I not have eternity, but I was robbed of even the few years that my peers had.

All day I have been thinking of what a waste my life has been, I do not know why but sometimes I get into a real funk and just can't get out of it. I hated doing what I did as JW, I hated pioneering so much but did it because that is what was drilled into me and I thought something was wrong with me for hating it so much.

I look back realized I threw my life away and it just hurts sometimes.

LITS

When you were fully in, did you believe that you would not die?

Spiral