Ending Bible Study

by Maria Nieves 77 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    MARIA:

    I only wish there was a message board like this one back in the day when I was studying. Then I would not have made the mistake of joining the JW religion.

    There may have been a few kind people that I liked but that’s sad...What probably saved me from being very damaged was that I wasn’t born in and I held onto my job until retirement. I resisted all the negative remarks about ‘materialism’ because I wasn’t in the full time ministry..I’ve been out many years and now retired..

    Please do not think twice about how your study conductor will be viewed. Any friendship you THINK you have is only conditional and will evaporate like the morning dew once you stop. As far as worrying how you will be viewed by other Witnesses - if you are no longer going this means nothing. In time you will be forgotten.

    You have the internet and much information about this and any other group. Too bad this was not around way back when.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Maria, because you haven't been baptised, The Watchtower has no authority over you.

    YOU have nothing to fear by telling your JW study-buddies "I have seen enough to conclude that you are a CULT, and I don't want anything to do with your so-called religion. Those YOU call "apostates" are correct."

    IF you did that, especially the part about agreeing with "apostates," you will probably never see those people again, and it is possible your address will be avoided by JWs in the future. You might also plant a seed of doubt in the minds of you "Bible" study conductors. "What did SHE see that WE can't see?" they might ask.

    But you are in charge of you, so do what you feel is best.

    ------------------

    Listener suggested, "You could get the JW a small gift and thank them for the studies that you have had together. Explain that you've gone as far as you are happy with and don't feel you would get anything out of studying any further. By giving a gift you allow yourself to feel less guilty and your kindness makes easier when you meet in public."

    Yeah, something like a vacation home in Hawaii , for example. That would be nice. You could give them the Paradise they dream of, and they wouldn't have to wait for Jehovah's cloud of anti-matter to kill the current occupants of any Hawaiian estate!

  • Incognito
    Incognito

    Maria,

    The longer you study with JW's, the more your thinking will be conditioned to take on the herd mentality JW's accept and demonstrate. Unfortunately, you are already questioning your ability to say no and worrying about angering them for asking a 'wrong' question and are concerned what they will think about you or how they will label you This will only become progressively worse as time goes on so that you will continue to doubt and stifle your own thoughts and reject anything not acceptable to them. Did you worry about what they thought about you or how they labeled you before you started studying?

    JW's are taught that their individual ideas, dreams and desires are not important and that they can never do enough for Jehovah, no matter how much they give of themselves. Is it any wonder so many JW's are prescribed antidepressants, or worse...?

    JW's teach that Jehovah will renounce a person if that person ceases to study and attend meetings. Is that a Christian idea or attitude or is that mostly unique to JW's? Is that an example of love and forgiveness demonstrated by Jesus? JW's claim they follow Jesus but, is that really apparent? What were Jesus' requirements to be his follower? To be a JW, or was it something else?

    With regard to your study conductor being shamed or embarrassed, she will be neither. As previously stated, JW's preach many thousands of hours just to gain one convert. If your study conductor had not spent her time with you, she would be expected and likely would have used that same time knocking on doors, preaching to other people. You actually did her a favour as she had a regular place to go each week, out of the cold/heat and rain/snow, with no dogs to deal with, so as to discuss WT teachings with someone that was friendly and not argumentative. You are/were easy time to count.

    Although your conductor may attempt to lead you to feel guilty and may have you believe you owe her, in actuality, people start studying with JW's for various reasons, often only to learn first hand about JW's and their beliefs. Many will stop studying once they have learned what they wanted to know so the JW conducting the study will just return to preaching door to door. As a JW, what is important is what you do today, not what you did yesterday.

    The potential of a 'study' not progressing to baptism is high but each JW recognizes and accepts that risk.

    The longer you delay to stop, will only make doing so more difficult. If you don't take action now, you may end up being like many of us on this forum, regretting decades wasted in the religion.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Maria,

    Be concerned about your mental health first. Don't worry about your conductor too much. What the bible study conductor has done for you is more out of obligation to recruit more members than concern about you. They are loyal to the governing body, nothing else. They know no friendship or family love unless the governing body approves it. It's a very unhealthy religion. Be glad you saw the light before you got baptized. If you still worry too much, maybe a little research on the religion will give you the power to break loose from .... well...it's been said already, a cult

  • waton
    waton

    Maria, we have not heard any of your personal details, but here is a major reason to withdrawing that toe out of the Jw.org morass, quicksand: While they force marriage because of their "good" morality position, a plus, (Jws are the marrying kind), as a lady perhaps single, of age 30 and above, you might have these factors against you: As a full fledged jw, you marry only in the lord. There is a 2:1 ratio of eligible female to male prospects. You know what factors make prime choices. So: Count it a blessing to be forewarned here and staying free from wt constraints, you remain open to broader, possibly better choices. and it is the Ladies that do the picking!. Bless them! and you!

  • dubstepped
    dubstepped

    Admittedly I'm tired and haven't read through all of this. However, one thing I'll add is that part of the con of any narcissistic cult is to seek out or create people that are codependent. You are too consumed with what their feelings and ripe for the picking. You are entitled to your own feelings and decisions, nothing about taking a stand for yourself is unhealthy, but they've got you all twisted up. That is the danger of a cult. Seeing that should terrify you on some level. They can and will get in your head. You need good boundaries that let you be you and them be them. Please leave them, take a stand for yourself, and perhaps see a counselor of some type.

    Also, you are kind of a bad ass for seeing through the teachings. They are indeed negative, aimed at creating a divide between us and them. Eventually they'll get you to cheer on the genocide of the entire world by their god at Armageddon if they can.

    Get out. Get healthy. Leave the toxic to their own toxic ideals and worry about you, not them.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    smiddy3 a day ago

    Could you give us all some examples as to what questions to ask them Black Sheep ?

    The best questions are based on material that the JW has given you rather than from 'dubious' sources like here, JWFacts etc... Pick something from the book being studied, a WT, Awake!, etc.. Be patient and pick your question carefully. Know the standard answer and it's flaws before you ask it. If they have you stumped, let it go until the next visit to give you time to do your homework. If they are stumped, let it go until their next visit, at which time you will want their answer.

    Most of their literature has been critiqued here and a search should be able to find something. If you can't find a critique of your current study book, or need help, ask.

  • ohnightdivine
    ohnightdivine

    Hi Maria Nieves,

    I saw myself in your post.

    It may be difficult to just stop, especially when you think about your relationship with your Bible study conductor and how much time she has "devoted" to studying with you

    However, the best time to stop is now.

    The universe is giving you a gentle nudge that something is wrong with this religion. It is better to stop now than to feel forced, get baptized, and feel forced to worship the organization for the rest of your life.

    My Bible study conductor whom I was very close with does not "care" any more, even when I became I witness. The moment we express any doubts to JWs, things get complicated.

    I really really hope you control this situation now and control your future while it is still early.

    OND

  • moreconfusedthanever
    moreconfusedthanever

    I find it interesting that she is still coming along to study with you after 2 years. It wasn't that long ago that if you hadn't progressed to baptism after 6 months you were cut loose.

    My father studied for at least a couple of years but his first study conductor cut him loose as a waste of time and another person took over.

    Make no mistake, they are not your friends. They will ACT like your friends until they have completed their recruitment of you and then you will be subject to their totally conditional and judgemental fake friendship.

    Listen to your gut and get out now.

  • out4good4
    out4good4
    Maria, because you haven't been baptised, The Watchtower has no authority over you.

    In fact, they don't have any authority over you if you do. They only have the authority over you that YOU give them. Being dipped in a batch of tap water doesn't change that.

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