Free to sin but still cannot bring myself to do it
After being self identified as being a JWS for long time with all the no no's and donts, eventfully you comprise and makeup you own mind what is right and wrong.
I've been out for more than 30 + years and a still hold some negatives about Christmas and Halloween.
Birthdays are just an expression of love and respect to show someone, for the day they were born.
Don't like the person whose birthday it is, then dont attend simple as that.
If god is going to kill all who attend a birthday such as a child's birthday, then there is something wrong with this god .
A lot of good advice.
They are a false religion, their teachings are false. Their list of sins is unscriptural and immoral. Do you still consider it a sin to talk to a family member who has left the JW organisation for example?
The bridge into a better way of life is ethics and principles.
For my own situation I hold to a principled standard..
My race is the human race. I want to be a constructive, reasonable, fair and ethical part of humanity.
Sinboi You can be an ethical and moral person without participating in a high control religion. Based on what you said you are thinking your way through a lot of confusing information that was hard wired into you from birth. Give it time.
Now I am worried about my military obligation in a year's time. Will I be able to get myself involve in bayonet fighting?
Been 16 years under bondage by the org. (since birth). The only sin so far is smoking and heavy petting .
Sorry that you are going through all that. Please be gentle with yourself. I can give you a million reasons to understand how ridiculous that concept of "sin" is, but I think that you get that well at the rational level.
If you find it to be a problem that is stopping you from living your life and feeling comfortable in your own skin, I may suggest you to get professional help. You don't need to deal and figure everything out all by yourself. A counselor or therapist who specializes in negative influence may be able to help you with whatever is blocking you.
Leaving that organization physically is not the end of your relationship with them. Please know that many of us have gone/still go through the same or worse.
One of the most important "sins" that you can commit is getting outside help and advise from a mental health professional that understands the negative influence of that organization while remains a complete outside source. Remember we were trained to believe that we "know better" than those professionals, and that the only source of help is not even the Bible, but the gazillions of publications containing their interpretations of it. Ditch that believe and ask for help if you feel like you need it.
And of course, there's this forum.
It takes time to break down everything you ever believed or felt. Brainwashing doesn't just disappear with a DA letter (congrats from a fellow DA'd person btw). Just live your life on your terms for where you are now. Keep breaking down those beliefs with research and in time your feelings will come around. We couldn't do Christmas or Halloween out first year but we did birthdays and Thanksgiving. Take your time. You don't have to just jump into another cult (culture) of that around you. Be kind to yourself and take your time.
If you still consider these things 'sins' you shouldn't feel bad for stopping yourself from doing it.
Not everything the ORG says is trash. Some things are very clear Bible counsels. JWs teach stealing is wrong. Will you start doing it just because the Org told you not all these years?
The difference is that now you can do it or not do it because of your conscience, not because of fear of being shunned.
PS: It's reported that Michael Jackson also felt very unconfortable when his friends celebrated his birthday when he was already a father, and notice that MJ never really BECAME a JW, so it's not surprising these mixed feelings from someone who had been totally involved in the movement.
Just so that I understand where you are coming from - What was your reason for disassociating, was it so that you could "sin"?
- I donated to help victims of philippines typhoon. Collected by Salvation Army. Was counselled but I don't think I did anything wrong.
- I requested to know why WT apply to join the wild beast. I ask in a mild voice. I thought they have a reason for it. But the elder shouted at me and ask me if I have been visiting ex JW sites. I said no. A classmate printed it out and pass it to me.
- I demanded to know why WT predicted the end of the world in 1975 when Jesus have said no one knows..
- They did not give me an answer that satisfy me. They called my mom and told her that I need to stop all these questions. I can be DF'd for it.
- I told my mum it is like an israelite being stone to death when he asked Moses why he worship the golden calf. I told her I doubt that they are really God's people.
- I went up my room. Think for nearly 2 hours. I cannot denied that during these 2 hours, I have thought of the freedom to sin after I have DA'd. I have always thought of exploring sex since I started puberty. I wrote the DA letter. But I regreted it later. I should have waited for my dad to come back from his business trip and tell him about it first.
Sindoi I left when I was 57 and a born-in. Enjoy your youth. Many of us here could not because of the cult. My only advice is when it is right for you to have sex please make sure you use protection. Sex is one of the most intimate things a human can do. It will have effects on you for the rest of your life. Just be safe and make it a long and happy life. My two cents from a old man. Be happy. Still Totally ADD
Life is to be enjoyed but it goes without saying that we should always be guided by the principle that our decisions and actions can have good or bad consequences so we need to think before we speak or act.
We do harm to ourselves (and others) by our own bad decisions and actions. This is not punishment by "God" it is just the consequence of our OWN decisions and actions. You are not "sinning" against "God". If you are "sinning" against anyone it would be against yourself because YOU have to live with the consequences of your decisions and actions.
Enjoy life but always think about the likely consequences or potential harm to yourself and others of your decisions and actions.
Uncle Still Totally ADD,
Thank you for your valuable advice. Yes, I will heed your advice and take safety precaution.
So your family is still IN? Did they shun you for leaving. Don't be sad if they do. Here in this forum, we support each other. Write to me more often. I value your advice.
Take good care of yourself.
Your problem is in your thread title. Eradicate the word "sin" from your vocabulary.
Replace it with a promise to yourself to try your best to be a decent human being.
It will take time.