Why do ones that got out come back in?

by moreconfusedthanever 55 Replies latest jw experiences

  • HereIgo

    Hi moreconfused,

    In my opinion, they come back because brainwashing is such a powerful cult tool. It has been drilled in the heads of members that the world is a dark and scary place and one will never be successful upon leaving. I was personally told that the "world will eat me up and spit me back out" which has never happened btw. Also, due to the shunning that one experiences, they become traumatized and miss their family and so-called "friends" whom are actively avoiding them, so they come back to gain that association again. Also, as others have mentioned above, the organization is familiar, especially for those that were born in.

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    Desperation. That was my reason for returning after a few years out. I'd gotten hooked on drugs, was trying hard to maintain sobriety due to pregnancy and was in the process of leaving the abusive addict who was my unborn baby's father. With no where else to go, I fell right back in the trap of the organization.

  • Chook

    Just like an abused wife returning to her husband, it's that pull factor. Also if you call your religion truth then the followers my believe you control the resurrection.

  • Chook

    Sorry I forgot to welcome you to the forum.

  • OnTheWayOut

    As stated, many never totally left. They stopped, faded away- but still believed. They may have gotten involved in breaking the rules.

    Some go back when they feel they will be destroyed at Armageddon. Something scares them or shakes them back in line.

    Many go back for "fellowship" with JW family. In that category, some know it is all lies and still go back.

  • StephaneLaliberte

    Being a born in and having spent 35 years in there, I still have this feeling of "Home" with them. Don't get me wrong, last time I went to a funeral, I couldn't wait to get out of there and was shocked by the none sense that was said at the front, the logical falsies and manipulative arguments. Still, its home. Just like someone who grew up with abusive parents, he may choose to never speak to them again, still, its home.

    Make no mistake, I'm the abused child that will never go back. However, I assume that a lot of people still go back for that simple "home" feeling. This feeling is even stronger when most of your actual family is still in it.

  • ttdtt

    1. they want to be with their family again.

    2. They didnt do research and discover it is a cult.

  • scratchme1010

    Why do ones that have faded and been out for years return? I have a friend who got DF a few times and came back and then faded and I can see that as a strategy to ensure you still get to speak to your family and friends, but I do not understand what makes faded ones come back.

    It's difficult for me to answer that question in the general sense, however, experts in the matter of cults and groups like the JWs believe that the reasons people return are very similar to the reasons why some JW stay.

    Some continue to believe in the JW doctrine. Some people do like reading the bible, analyzing "the scriptures", some people feel that that's cool and miss it.

    Some people feel loss after leaving. That is particular of the born in. They have invested a lot of their time and energy, and the "pressure" of starting over is too much for them to handle.

    Something bad happens to them or to the world. I heard of some ex-JWs that went back after the Sept. 11 attacks in USA, thinking that "maybe the WT is right".

    They miss family. They are shunned and feel lonely without their love ones.

    Shame. They left or were kicked out without a lot of planning, and as such, they may have not prepared for leaving and then "face consequences".

    Fear. Leaving doesn't mean that they are no longer influenced by the WT. Something that many faders believe is that leaving and fading is just stopping from attending meetings and participating in their activities. it is a process of "deprogramming", getting rid of the JW mindset, and that's something that many fail to see how embedded it is.

    I have known many ex-JWs, out for years if not decades, who still not celebrate birthdays and believe that the WT is "the truth". Some are just physically out but mentally in.

  • Island Man
    Island Man

    Various reasons:

    • They left for lifestyle reasons, never learned TTATT and still considered Watchtower as The Truth, so faced with a life crisis or changed outlook on life, they return to Watchtower like the prodigal son.
    • They return as PIMO just so they can restore family relationships and possibly try to wake up family members.
    • They were stumbled out by a single incident and never did any thorough research to grasp the full depth and scope of TTATT so they later fall for BS JW apologetic excuses and rationalizations for why it's still The Truth.

    So it basically boils down to two reasons: They never made TTATT their own, or they're coming back PIMO to restore family contact.

  • jookbeard

    still a very very small minority though, I could list many many that have left and never gone back

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