Why do ones that got out come back in?

by moreconfusedthanever 55 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    The familiar peace-loving, cordial, happy community keeps many not wanting to let go.

    The 'anything goes as long as you aren't hurting someone' attitude of today's world is just not appealing to JWs, even to the ones not in complete agreement with all their policies.

    The good far outweighs the bad. I can only speak by my experience.


  • tepidpoultry

    There are prison inmates who return because prison works for them, they enjoy the enforced routine, it gives them a sense of security, people invented religion because it's a source of security against death and the unknown, the world can be a cold place, some reason that false security is better than no security at all,


  • just fine
    just fine

    DY - we were all in this cult at some point in time so lying about the cult doesn't work.

    I am getting tired of you preaching about how great the JW lifestyle is. It isn't, it keeps from living their lives and reaching their potential. It ruins people's lives, keeps them captive even when they want to be free. The people are not perfect and they subscribe to archaic policies that hurt abuse victims. Even my own family shun disfellowshipped ones, in a sadistic ritual meant to emotionally blackmail people to return to cult life. Yep they are all great loving people 🙄

  • littlerockguy


    If the organization is so good as you say it is what the hell are you doing here?


  • ToesUp

    "The good far outweighs the bad."

    Sorry...I respectfully have to disagree. I have always told my spouse, "when there's more wrong than right in the org, I'm outta there." Don't knock it til ya try it. Lol Much much happier and content than ever.

  • Londo111

    Until a person is mentally out, they are never out.

    There are many who are inactive, disfellowshipped, and even some who disassociated, who were not mentally out. Like a boom-a-rang, they are apt to return.

    I accidentally faded at one point and didn't even know it or have any concept of what fading is. But I still believe it was "the truth". I didn't want to be destroyed. So like a lamb putting his head in the lion's mouth, I came back and took steps to become active again, and went to the elder's about matters which ultimately got me disfellowshipped. This lead me to waking up mentally.

  • neverendingjourney

    I'm of the opinion that most who leave don't leave because they become convinced it's not the truth. That's just based on my own personal experience. Can't say whether that's the case today or whether it's the same in every region of the world.

    Most seem to leave because (a) they give up because they feel they're not strong enough to live up to the religion's standards or (b) because they get into some personal issues with other JWs and can't bring themselves to remain part of the community.

    The problem is that people in those situations live their lives with constant guilt. It's incredibly damaging from a psychological perspective. They think God is good and showed them the road map to everlasting life, but they're too selfish to obey. Or that they're letting their petty issues with others stand in the way of doing what God wants.

    A few younger ones convinced themselves it was okay to stray away for a while, live a "sinful" life, and come back a few years later when they're ready to settle down.

    These type of people usually come back at some point. Some make multiple failed efforts to return and remain in "good standing."

    In my local area I can only think of two others who left for reasons of conscience. There are dozens, however, who fit the mold of what I was describing earlier.

    I hope the internet is helping change that, but I've been away from all things JW for over a decade.

  • Ucantnome

    I was out for about 8 years and returned for a year. I didn't fade, I had invited the elders to visit for a discussion. In the year that I attended I was a very regular attendee, hardly missing a meeting. My reason was that one of my children wanted to attend so we did.

    I think the reasons are probably varied as to why people who leave return.

  • steve2

    Why do untold numbers of JWs leave and go back?

    To answer here's an analogy:

    At 16, kids can legally leave home and some do. Of these, some thrive, while some struggle with some aspects of life as independent young ones. So they run back to Mom and Dad who can save them from horrible adult responsibilities.Whew! And for a good number of kids who do leave home, they return not once, twice or three times but multiple times - depending on how enabling their parents are.

    Ditto JWs who leave.

    JWs who leave are often like kids who leave home: ill-prepared to take responsibilities, looking for black and white solutions, lacking initiative, astonished that bills have to be paid and so on. Life is too damn hard.

    You don't go back home to your parents because they are the best parents in the world - although that might help. You return because you haven't quite grown up - perhaps you never will. And frankly, some parents need their kids to stay home for their (parents') own needs.

    Anyone who has struggled to leave JWs will identify with this analogy.

  • All or nothing
    All or nothing

    "The emotional blackmail and shunning from family in particular worked on him."

    ok time for my 2 cents. This is exactly what is happening to us right now. We have been physically fading for almost 2 years and mentally about 4 years. Both sides of our in families are badgering us about returning to Jehovah. My husband is convinced it would be easier to just go back here and there rather than continue to "hurt" and stress them out. I don't agree because I know that won't be good enough. It disheartening to realized both sides of our brainwashed cult-ed families only love us conditionally. I never realized when we were the perfect cult couple that they never loved us for us.

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