A question .....

by Landy 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Landy

    Hi guys - new poster here. I was brought up a JW in the UK and stopped going not long after I was married. That was 20 years ago so I'm not really up to date with the current doctrinal flip flops or the new youtube obsessed GB.

    Came across this site while googling the name of a local elder who's just been convicted of possesion of a PC full of unpleasant pics of kids.

    So, my question. This is spurred by a post I've just read about someone who's read the WT at the meeting. Going to the meetings, on the field service and all the associated crap that goes with it is hard work and takes a lot of time and commitment. It seems though that not a small percentage of those who post here, who by default must have serious doubts or are total unbelievers, are still active.

    So why do you do it? It's hard work for no gain. Why not just call it quits and fade away?

    I realise it's not always as black and white as that and some have family ties but life's to short to devote your life to something you don't believe in.

  • LoveUniHateExams

    Welcome, Landy.

    I don't have any family in it anymore, I guess I'm lucky.

    But if I had a wife or son or daughter or parent still in, I would try to get them out. If that meant staying in, I'd do that.

  • JW_Rogue
    Oh, yeah super easy to fade away. LOL Not when your entire family is in the org and they all live in the same city. Not when your wife has doubts but tries to beat them back by being more "spiritual." Not when you're a MS and the brothers don't want you to step down because that would mean more mundane work for them.
  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    You see, I know personally of situations like a man, wife with 2 kids. Apparently, the wife and the 2 kids comes to the meetings, but never the dad(what I've been told from the rumour mill)

    You never see the dad. He plays the ''depression card''. I think situations like these, a good way and used a lot is the ''depression'' card. You hear it a lot. ''Depression'' is a way to fade out of the Borg in these situations.

  • prologos
    Love to have you Landy, it is also fun to be the fly on the wall and see with those compound eyes (many view points, no tunnelvision) what goes on.
  • tornapart
    Hi Landy, it's very hard! For me it's been a long slow process. I first realised it was all nothing more than being in a cult was 4 years ago. All my family were still in, hubby (an elder), grown children, mother, sister. Just leaving would have alienated them all. Over those years I've gradually let them all know how I feel. My elderly mother has since passed, making it easier to leave. Now I just attend once in a while for hubby's sake, children are gradually awakening to it all. My best friend and her family are also slowly awakening. I'm 4 months into becoming inactive.... sometimes you have to take it slow so you don't end up losing everyone you love.
  • Magnum

    Landy, I'm not active and don't think I could be knowing what I know. As you said, it was hard work, and for me it was extremely hard - almost unbearable at times - because I sacrificed a lot and went at it full time and lived in difficult circumstances with little money. I was genuine. I believed and really cared. I wanted to serve God and help my fellow creatures. When I gave talks, they were real, from the heart, etc.

    However, when I found out that it wasn't what I once thought it was, I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't fake talks. I couldn't go in the ministry. Etc. It's kind of like this. I always said that I could be a good salesman if I had a really good product to sell that I really believed in, but if I didn't have that, I couldn't be a salesman. I found out that as a JW, I didn't have a good product; I know longer believed it, so I couldn't sell it anymore.

    I understand how some, though, might have to proceed slowly and suffer through it because of family and maybe other reasons. Perhaps leaving at this time would disrupt their families such that they suffer less by staying than they would by leaving. Hopefully the time is coming when it will be even more evident than it is now that something is wrong in JW land and it will be easier for such ones to leave.

  • ToesUp
    I couldn't do it anymore. I could not sit in the Kingdom Hall for 1 more meeting but some on here have so many close by family members. I feel for those ones. It's tough to go through. The sad part is, that NO ONE should have to go through this. The most descriptive statement made by the Australian Royal Commission was...this is a captive organization. It is!
  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    Landy, also Welcome. It's really tough if not next to impossible to just give up and quit.

    The reason I say this is because there are some really tough situations. Many JW's work for their inlaws secularly which depend on their jobs for their very livelihood. LOL, there's a lot more at stake for just sitting at a KH twice a week for couple hours and FS on weekends.

    Close family ties too can make leaving the Borg very challenging. That's why a fade, albeit, can take years, and years to pull off. Agreed, it is very hard work. It can take a lot of planning too. One has to establish a community of friends outside of the Borg.

    If someone is no longer living at home, with the parents, fading can be easier. One may have to just start fading by missing a meeting once a month. Then step it up with two. And so on........

    I think I said before, but fading can take decades, yes decades. It depends on a lot of factors. Mainly family, but also your local Elders group, if they are quite rogue. But you know what?? Fading can be done. Just takes patience, perseverance,determination and hard work!!! Good luck!!!!

  • Landy
    Oh, yeah super easy to fade away. LOL Not when your entire family is in the org and they all live in the same city. Not when your wife has doubts but tries to beat them back by being more "spiritual." Not when you're a MS and the brothers don't want you to step down because that would mean more mundane work for them.

    One of the few things I've learned in this life is that first and foremost you have to be true to yourself. If you can't be true to yourself then you can't be true to anyone else.

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