How Do You Handle Death?

by minimus 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    My own or others ?

    The death of my father brought me closer to the JW and after 3 years, I was babtised.
    The death of my mother did the opposite: the service in the Hall was awfully - my family was comparised with the German concentration camps during the worldwar and everyone attending the meeting was chocked hearing that.

    Since then I have been 3 times in the Hall - once for an other funeral service and the last time the Memorial - and it has been 8 months since.

    I've learnt a lot since and am thinking to write a letter of de-associating.
    I haven't convinced myself that I should do it - I will wait a bit longer I think.

    With my own death ? I think (and hope) to the outer world with dignity (for I can't change a bit to it) from the inside scared to pieces.

    I am absolutely sure that I don't get a resurrection on earth the way the watchtower is promising - I am not good enough for heaven - so I have to wait till it happens to know (or know nothing at all) what it will be.

    -----

    ((((Lee)))) holds on, not every form of cancer is deathly - a whole bunch is curable.

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    I handle the death of my loved ones very bad. I miss them, terribly, and rage at the unfairness of it all.

    I dread the day my mum dies, cuz I can't imagine not being a child anymore, not being able to tell all my worries to mummy.

    My own death, I don't care. It will bring peace, hopefully. Just the people I'll leave behind, that I hate.

    -

    And the world shall tremble in the wake of the Blue Bubblegum
    Dutch District Overbeer

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Thanks Gumby Grace and Country Woman

    My father dies 4 years ago. He was my primary abuser before the JWs came along. My step-sister used to ask if I wanted to be called. I would joking say yes because I want to come to make sure he is really dead.

    When I got the call I went - not a moment's thought. I just knew I had tto be there. I doubt he knew me. But it was very cathartic to let go of some piece of my past. I couldn't forgive. He didn't ask and I didn't offer. After he died no one wanted to give the eulogy. Both sides of the family were pretty disgusted with him and glad he was gone. So I did it.

    He was a man who got away with hurting every person who ever came into his life. At least in this life. My final words "

    "John, May you rest in peace and may God be fair in his judgement of you." is probably the closest I could come to honesty. I hope he got his due.

  • gumby
    gumby
    He was a man who got away with hurting every person who ever came into his life. At least in this life. My final words "

    "John, May you rest in peace and may God be fair in his judgement of you." is probably the closest I could come to honesty. I hope he got his due.

    Thats awfull Lady. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a parent that seemed like they were simply......no good, rotten to the heart. I hope your right about his inner self if there is another life and that there is some good in there. He didn't seem to rub off on you

    Gumby

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    well Gumby if there is any good in him God will have to be the one to find it cuz no one else could.

    Sadly my brothers tend to take after him. but at least they aren't as bad as he was.

    People say you shouldn't speak ill of the dead. I speak the truth weather they are alive or dead.

    My girlfriend's dad passed away a year ago. She still hurts so bad for him. She just went home to visit her mom and got the last roll of film with her dad on it. We took it to be processed and they said the film was over exposed and there was nothing to process. Just before he died her parents recited their wedding vows. That is what was on the film. She was so disappointed.

    She gave me the film. and I took it home and put it in the scanner for negatives. And found the last picture could be grabbed off the negative - the last kiss. I sobbed for her mom and dad and for her.

    She now has a digital copy of it and I am trying to print it out.

    Death cuts out a part of your heart when there has been love and replaces it with emptiness and memories. Some are good and some are sad. I feel so bad for her

  • gumby
    gumby
    She gave me the film. and I took it home and put it in the scanner for negatives. And found the last picture could be grabbed off the negative - the last kiss. I sobbed for her mom and dad and for her.

    Thanks for sharing that.....at least she got the one

    I have very few pics of my dad in his later years who passed away, and now wish I had more.

    Gumby

  • MrsQ
    MrsQ

    Wow, Mouthy--that was quite a post...I'm sorry you've had to live through that kind of pain...

    As for me, I have never had anyone close to me die. Since my parents became witnesses, they pretty much alienated us from our entire families. Both my grandmothers have died, and it had little effect on me...I simply wasn't that close to them. Sad, but true.

    My parents are getting older...although I think they have a long way to go. But I am terrified of either of them dying. I'm terrified of anyone close to me dying. I am quite certain it is going to shock the hell out of me, and I don't know how I'm going to handle it when it inevitably happens.

    Q.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Lady Lee, I do hope you'll be o.k. You are one of the sweetest persons here.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Min if I give you my mother's address could you write and tell her that please?

    She seems to be under the delusion that I have two horns and a tail and am one nasty B*tch.

    I hope so too min. I will let y'all know when I find out what is going on. A part of me thinks it can't be too serious if they are willing to wait for 5 weeks for the tests. Another part says they are just idiots. And so the war inside rages on.

    You know this is the first place in my life where people think I am "sweet" Keep shaking my head and wondering who ya'll are talkin about

  • minimus
    minimus

    Lee, please ask for another opinion. 5 weeks is much too long. You need to check these thingsout as soon as posible....And yes, I'd be more than proud to tell anyone what I think about you!!!!!!

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