How Do You Handle Death?

by minimus 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    When my baby died at three days old.( after I was bombed in England during the 2nd WW.)I thought it was a punishment for getting pregnant at 16...Then I became a JW in 1965... Then I was DF in 1987( because I didnt believe Jesus came invisably in 1914)I lost my son in 1993 ( who was not a JW) & because for the 1st time in his life he wanted to know about GOD the day before he died-he died the next day from a heart attack.I felt my NEW God =Jesus _ had made the way for me to see him again. I was grief stricken but had hope for the resurrection IN HEAVEN ( sorry unbelievers) Then my Daughter Melanie -who I had raised a JW( I was a VERY STRICT JW)she had left the borg to marry an unbeliever.Was now a wonderful Christian..Died from breast cancer.in 1999 as she was dying she was drowning- I was with her I had to hold her hands as they pumped her throat with tubes down them- I said" I am so sorry Melanie I am doing this because I love you"She said "I love you too"& died- I still can not think or talk about either of them without still crying. But as a witness we were devoid of emotion or at lest I was.... So sorry it is long.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Mouthy, that was so saddening and touching! To lose one's children has to be the worst. I'm glad you're here. Many would be happy, I'm sure, if you adopted them.

  • gumby
    gumby
    For most Witnesses, the ressurection hope keeps survivors going

    Not really.

    I have known many dubs who have lost their mates and grieve as much as a non-witness who is a believer or not. It doesn't seem to ease the pain of ANY... with religious convictions that I've seen.

    Even if they believe they will see them again......they are still lonely and sad.

    Non-witness believers think their mates go straight to heaven, so why would a dub feel any better HOPING they will see their mate again...IF they are resurrected.....and IF the living mate is faithfull enough to get there to see them. Christians have no IF'S in their belief system. If you are "in christ" your "in".

    Your NEVER "in", in the dub world of theology.....you only HOPE.

    Gumby

    I want to edit this to add that I am terrified of losing my mate. I am afraid as hell and wonder how I will survive. I fear the intensity of grief.

    Gumby

  • minimus
    minimus

    Gumby, what's worse is that if a mate died today and tomorrow the new system came about, you still couldn't live as husband and wife and enjoy the intimacies that go along with it. You must be as an "angel".

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Thanks Minimus. I lost my "other half" also(1987) It is a lonely life when all the family is gone- But I have adopted so many on here & at PA I cant remember all their names----Like the "OLD WOMAN who lived in the shoe.....LOL

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    ((((to all those who have lost someone dear)))

    The WT does not allow for proper grieving. Go to meetings, get out in service, don't think, don't feel. Let the dead bury their dead.

    Even the funeral talk is not about the loss the family and friends experience. It is an opportunity to preach.

    I lost my aunt when we were both children (suicide) At the time she was living with a non-JW sister. Suzanne was baptized and I don't recall wheather she had a JW funeral or not. I doubt we went to a church though.. The family still rarely speaks of her. I think I have probably talked about her here more than the family has in the past 40 years.

    I also lost a dear friend to cancer near the end of my time in the JWs. I still see people who remind me of her on the street. It jolts me when that happens although it does happen as much as it used to. I think of her often. Because the family was deaf and I was an interpreter I probably had more opportunity to grieve with the family than most people. I was with her sister and we held her hands as she took her last breaths. The finality of it is sure.

    My husband told me I was too emotional. I wasn't allowed to grieve - at least not in front of him.

    Now I have the possibility of cancer - hopefully a very treatable one so am waiting the tests and results.

    I hope that I deal with death with dignity. I hope that I die in peace and with my daughters with me. I hope I will not be alone.

    Right now though I'm not ready and hope this isn't the nasty "C"

    so maybe I shouldn't be thinking about this at all right now

  • gumby
    gumby
    Now I have the possibility of cancer - hopefully a very treatable one

    I'm sorry to hear that Lady.

    They are doing some amazing things in that area with lots of success stories. We wish you the best in your results

    Gumby

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Lee.Sorry to hear that thought....I know a woman near me.I saw her in the bank last week. Completly cured!!!!When Mel was ill this woman was very ill also.... Yet today ! she is fine... Ask about Methotrexate!!!! ((((hug))) Keep us informed my love

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Q: How Do You Handle Death?

    A: I go all to pieces, then I (de)compose myself.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    I think I took it all in stride the first 8 times, but honestly, I'm scared out of my litterbox about this next one!

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