Sometimes, it just ain't any fun... (page 4)

Jade

((((((((((((((((((((Dana & kids))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry for the pain you guys are going through. I can understand your son's feelings. My grandfather died when I was younger and I just couldn't go see him either because I didn't want to remember him that way. It upset my grandmother but to this day I only have memories of him in the way he was when he was well and those are such good memories and are making me smile as I write this to you.

I'm glad you guys have this time to tell each other how you feel. Be strong for each other. Love you guys

Annie

safe4kids

Hi ((((Waiting)))) I'm glad that you chose to share your viewpoint; it was wise, as usual. I agree that trying to shield my children from the realities of life would be doing them a grave disservice and I can only hope that we all come through this a bit stronger and hopefully closer as a family. Thank you for your kind words.

(((((Dede)))) Thank you so much for sharing about your own grandmother. There are certain similarities, hey? And thank you for the message to my kids; I've talked to them about this thread, I've given them hugs sent along from board friends, I've applauded their courage, I've wiped their tears, and I've especially tried to make sure that they don't dwell on this ALL of the time...they need time to just be kids, too. Thank you again, your post was very heartwarming.

((((Marilyn)))) Thanks for the hugs and the support. I know that you've gone through some very painful losses, too, so you can relate as well. And yes, sharing this has been more of a comfort than I imagined it would be. I've been a little overwhelmed (in a good way) at the responses and the kindness expressed by so many people. In fact, I've cried several times reading some of the posts here because I have been so touched by the concern shown.

(((CountryWoman))) Thank you for your response and please accept my condolences as well. I know that what you've written is true, that the pain will lessen eventually, and I hope that is occurring for you now.

((((((Annie))))) Thank you so much for your post! I've been worrying about Justin's response to all of this, but I've not wanted to make him feel that he wasn't behaving 'appropriately', whatever that is. I just haven't wanted him to bottle everything up inside and I've been concerned that he didn't want to see his grandmother. But reading your post reminded me of when I was 12 and my 11 year old cousin died...my parents didn't give us any choices about viewing the body, we had to do whatever we were told. To this day, the picture that pops into my head when I think of my cousin is of how she looked stretched out in a coffin. I would have preferred NOT to see her like that and so your story and my experience help me relate a little better to how Justin is feeling...thank you again, you've eased my mind.

Thanks again to everyone who has responded to this thread, pm'd me, im'd me, emailed and called. The response has truly brought tears to my eyes and touched my heart.

Love,

Dana

teejay

Dana,

So sorry to hear about your grandmother.

It is very good that you can be there for her, though, and repay at least some of the kindnesses she showed you over the years. Delaney sounds like a real trooper. You have to be proud of her. Your son sounds a lot like me when I was 12 -- afraid of his feelings and not knowing how to go about expressing them.

Take care, Sis. We're thinking about you.

(((((((((((( Dana & Family )))))))))))))

think41self

((((Dana))))

I just heard a story from Melissa (my new daughter in law) that will cheer you up!

For those of you who don't know this...Dana is my sister (little sister as she will be quick to tell you). My oldest son Dominic just got married in June to Melissa...and of course Dana and the kids were there. One of Dominic's friends, Mike, a young man of 23 or so....quite a fine specimen of a man if I may say so...was in the wedding as a groomsman. His wife was also in the wedding and their little son.

Dana is hanging out in the lobby of the hotel where the wedding is being held...and let me tell you, she was wearing this slinky, tight fitting, verrrrrry low cut black dress....and she looked gorgeous. In comes Mike, dressed in his tux but missing his cufflinks. He didn't know how to put them on, and his wife was in the girls dressing room getting ready herself....so Dana being the good deed doer that she is offered to help him with them. Mike is about 6'2" and Dana is only 5'7", so poor Mike had nothing to do but try not to stare down the front of Dana's dress as she's putting on his cufflinks. It was funny, because I was standing there holding the other pieces, and I was trying to signal Dana with my eyes that she shouldn't lean over like that but she was too busy trying to get the damn things buttoned on! So, the poor man got quite an eyeful!

Melissa told me yesterday that right after the wedding Mike asked her "Who was that beautiful woman in the black dress with the luscious breasts?"

Melissa was a little surprised, because she couldn't think right off who he was talking about. He said "You know, that woman who was helping me with my cufflinks...the one with those big, beautiful, luscious breasts that I couldn't take my eyes off?"

Then Melissa realised who he was talking about, and she said "Mike! That's Dominic's Aunt Dana...and you shouldn't have been looking at her boobies!"

And Mike said "Well, I couldn't help it...they were right there in my face for like 5 minutes...and after a few minutes it was all I could do not to reach in there and grab them! I just wanted to bury my face in them for awhile!"

So Dana....I just thought you'd like to know....you still got it babe!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Melissa says he keeps asking when "The Beautiful Breasts" are coming for a visit....and the idiot keeps asking this in front of his wife...so I'm afraid you've been banned from coming here until he cools down, ok?

Tracy

cat1759

An incredable story of unconditional love. This woman truly was a gift to your family.

Sorry this is happening but all those wonderful memories you will take with you for the rest of your life are good memories.

Brightest Blessings for your future and those of your children.

Cathy

Mulan

Tracy..........that was hilarious. It would definitely make my day if someone said that about me.

safe4kids

(((Teejay))) Thank you for the hugs. I am very proud of Delaney, as I am of Justin as well. It makes me feel a little better to have people relate their personal responses as it helps me not worry quite so much about Justin. I talked to him for awhile earlier today and he said that he didn't know what or how he felt but at least he also agreed that he would talk to me about things as we go along. So that's a step in the right direction (I hope!).

Cat, Thank you for your response. And you are right, we have memories of Jo that we will always treasure, even though they are currently overshadowed with the grief that we feel, but I know that won't last forever.

Tracy, Oh geez!!!! I'm so embarrassed! I had no idea he was looking down my dress all that time! and those pesky cuff links and the buttons...sheesh, they just wouldn't do what they were supposed to. I'm caught between laughing my a$$ off here and cringing. You know, I thought after that episode in the lobby that I was getting weird vibes from Mike's wife and I couldn't for the life of me figure it out, as she'd been so pleasant before...NOW I understand! Argh But you were right...it certainly made me laugh!

Mulan...psst...two words: "Victoria's Secret"

Dana

rocketman

Dana, I'm very sorry for what you and your family are going through. Life does indeed throw many unexpected twists our way, and sometimes it isn't fun at all. I'm sorry about your grandmom.

((((((Dana))))))

jst2laws

Tracy,

And Mike said "Well, I couldn't help it...they were right there in my face for like 5 minutes...and after a few minutes it was all I could do not to reach in there and grab them! I just wanted to bury my face in them for awhile!"

Cute story. I hope that makes Dana feel better. Knowing her personally I thought the person inside was much more exciting than what might be 'grabable'. Beautiful, exciting in every way, and a great mom . . . she deserves much more in life than a guy looking down her blouse. That will come. I have high hopes for this girl.

Jst2laws

patio34

Hi Dana,

So sorry about your loved one. A couple of points come to my head about it.

One, is that she is very lucky to have the comfort of all of you during her time.

Two, is that, as Waiting said too, your kids are being "innoculated" against hard times as an adult by going thru this with you to guide and support them.

Three, is a saying I've always loved about having a slightly different view of endings in life: don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Life sure is bittersweet isn't it?

Love to all of you,

Pat

Sometimes, it just ain't any fun...

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