*hugs & more hugs* So glad you found unconditional love.
Growing up a gay Jehovah's Witness (My Life Story)
by m0nk3y 263 Replies latest jw experiences
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Max Ropata
Josh, reading your story brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me about my own experience coming out in a witness family. I am pleased you found the strength and support. I came out in 1979 along with my lover after being discovered one afternoon by the Circuit Overseer and another elder. The irony being it was the COs son that was my lover. Anyway after weeks of drama I left NZ and came to Australia to start a new life. My actions prompted 2 of my siblings to do the same thing.
I have never regretted the decision to leave the witnesses as it just was not for me.
Stay strong. I wish you well.
Max Simpson
Redfern Sydney
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Adrian-
Hey thank you so much for putting up your story. I've been through almost the same experience. I won't get into it here. But I came across your posting through Google and it really made me feel that I am not alone with my feelings and that others have experienced the same things in life. Hope we can be friends. Adrian www.Myspace/AdrianBox
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tartarus
Thank you for story monkey. I feel for you. I've struggled with being attracted to men and still do sometimes. I've lived the gay lifestyle had a boyfriend and all and gave it up. I'm not a practicing Jehovah's Witness at present but I was on and off for a while. I think it's really the reward of everlasting life and the possibility of "being cured" of homosexuality in the future paradise that can attract a gay man to the Witnesses teachings. Having a normal life, family, kids, being a daddy, having a future like the majority around us.
I was more bi than gay to be correct. The gay thing wasn't me though. I found it to be a depressing and lonely experience devoid of anything close to spirituality I had while I was a practising Christian JW. Maybe I was wrong , I don't know. Time will tell whether I was right or wrong to abandon it. Joseph Nicolosi's book "Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality" helped me sort out some of this sex confusion I had. I wonder if you, monkey or anyone else had the opportunity to read it and if you have what's your take on it?
P.S. some of his research is at www.narth.com
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Mysterious
I've struggled with being attracted to men and still do sometimes.
Of course you do, you can't change your attraction.
I think it's really the reward of everlasting life and the possibility of "being cured" of homosexuality in the future paradise that can attract a gay man to the Witnesses teachings. Having a normal life, family, kids, being a daddy, having a future like the majority around us.
You don't need to be cured, you are fine just the way you are. You can live a normal life, you can have a family/kids and be a daddy. Guess what gay people have futures too.
I was more bi than gay to be correct. The gay thing wasn't me though. I found it to be a depressing and lonely experience devoid of anything close to spirituality I had while I was a practising Christian JW. Maybe I was wrong , I don't know. Time will tell whether I was right or wrong to abandon it.
Of course you were depressed! You keep telling yourself you can't have a normal life and that you need to be cured. You will never be happy unless you accept who you are without guilt, shame or fear.
Joseph Nicolosi's book "Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality" helped me sort out some of this sex confusion I had.
Load of crap. Just be who you are, no book is going to change that.
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Jringe01
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want desperately to say something profound to express how I feel after reading all this but what can I say that hasn't already been said?
Josh...I am in awe of your courage, bravery and inner strength. I wish I had even a fraction of it and if I did I'd be a better man for it.
I came into the JW while in my teens. I had known since I was 5 that I liked men and yet like all good, overly zealous new JW converts I tried to put all my feelings aside and "do the right thing". It never really worked. I couldn't stay away. Actually having sex was out of the question (I was a virgin till I was 30) so I whacked off a lot and then felt guilty for it. How did another poster put it:
What you wrote about being depressed, and the feeling that Jehovah didn't answer prayers, and didn't care about us, really REALLY hit home for me. It was compounded by the fact that his "followers" didn't really care about us either.
It hit home for me too...and so many others, both those that now know your story Josh and the many many who don't. So many have suffered and so needlessly.
I was half way thru the thread before I realize the bloody thing was 5 years old. It's impressive that even for short periods in the intervening years it gets a new lease on life.
This story (and other like stories) must not only be told, they can never be forgotten. We should all bookmark this thread and make sure it continues to live so that it may serve as an example and inspiration to others in the future and as a way to remember those who were not fortunate enough to survive.
There was a far more recent "gay" thread (posted this month and I can't recall the exact title but it's over 10 pages) in which "Perry" got on and started posting links to various conservative and fundementalist publications which all had negative things to say about gay rights, gay marriage etc.
All these "good little christians" eager to use the bible to show us the error of our ways and try to get us to turn back to god would have us live like Josh did, like so many of us on this board have lived, a life of pain. misery, self loathing and fear. Those four words just about sums up the history of Christianty.
I wonder if it's ever occured to them that since their policies against gays lead so many troubled youth to suicide that they thus become people who condone and encourage murder. According to the bible that's what suicide is. It's also a shocking and profound disrespect for life and humanity in general.
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tartarus
Mysterious, appreciate your input. I disagree with you - books can and do change people. What we find here on this site is not a book and yet it changes peeps for good. What you read/input into your brain can and does change you. Can't deny it, dude. I merely want to know if there are those out there who have actually read the book by Nicolosi and whether it had any impact on how they view themselves and their family situation growing up. It certainly had an effect on me. Explaining family dynamics that contribute to homosexuality. I certainly saw it in my family just as was laid out in the book . As I explained I'm probably bi as I had a lot more sushi in my life than gay sex. As you see it's not as clear cut as you present it. Your choice maybe clear to you, but others struggle with theirs still. I want to know if people's minds have been affected at all by Nicolosi's research if at all.
I don't contest that gays have a future, we all have our own .
I'm reminded of Phoebe Bouffe's song from "Friends" :"...and then there are bisexuals, but some say they're just kidding themselves". lol
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Jringe01
Tartarus: I went to the Narth website you mentioned in a previous post and read some of the material there.
I believe that it's up to the individual to decide what orientation he/she will be. I do not believe that Narth is being entirely objective.
I work in Market Research so I know full well the difference between asking unbiased questions and biased ones. Not too many people really appreciate just how much of what they say or the questions that they ask are in fact bias and when you point it out to them they tend to scoff.
Why is it that people can never just leave others alone to find their own path? As much as I hate to say this...I can see a "Great Tribulatrion" on the horizon, not because god will bring it but we will bring it on ourselves thru debates like this one when both sides refuse to walk away and leave the other side alone.
I guess the bible was right when it said "Man has dominated man to his injury" Chalk one up for scripture.
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GentlyFeral
I merely want to know if there are those out there who have actually read the book by Nicolosi
I did read it when it was fairly new. I was a deep-dyed, heterosexual jaydub back then, and even so, it set off my bullshit detector. I summed it up as "thirty-year-old guesswork" (Based on theories from the 1950's which formed the basis for failed experiments in "de-gaying" therapy which were conducted in the 1970's; I've been trying to find the reference for about an hour. All I have is a memory of an old PBS documentary in which a researcher conducted orientation-changing therapy for months or years and put together a paper to be read at a conference.(By the time the conference occurred, he had collected more info which convinced him his own paper was wrong. He tried to take it off the program, but I can't remember if the conference organizers insisted on it being presented or not. Anwyay, he told everyone at the conference that his own "de-gaying" therapy program didn't work.
(If anyone remembers who I'm talking about, I'd absolutely love to have a name to attach to this story!)
gentlyferal
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Dogpatch
Hey Josh!
I see your post just keeps coming up for as good read!
Josh's story is up at:
http://www.freeminds.org/stories/growingupgay.htm
if that hasn't been posted here. Glad you are doing well, Josh!
Randy