While I'm politely sitting during the meeting today, restraining myself from rolling my eyes as the brother drones on about how "having an independent spirit is devilish in nature" and "independence from Gods organization only results in pain and strife", I only have one thought going through my mind over and over. "What would happen if I pulled out a gun and blew my brains out in this Kingdom Hall?"
Would anyone notice or care? Would anyone think that being ostracized by everyone I know have something to do with it? Or would everyone default to 'the world' ruining me? Would any of my family wonder if the truth is really the truth?
I apologize for being so morbid, I just needed to get it off my chest.