by Phaedra 79 Replies latest jw experiences
I remember going out with other JWs after the memorial.
Small gatherings.
Picnics at some local landmark.
The feeling of closeness, camaraderie, friendship with like minded people you could trust.
Haven't experienced it since I left.
Really miss that.
I'm quite certain there is no denying that the sense of community within JWs is a key factor in many staying despite the fact that they have come to know at least a small faction of TTATT.
It is a network that gives most JWs a sense of "belonging" as well as simply a network of mostly reliable, sincere friends.
It is not the people within that are "bad". It is the methods of the leadership and the resulting damage that they cause.
Doc
Humans are social creatures and social needs run deep. Your post expresses this natural human phenomenon. Creating a new social environment takes work. You may not end up with as many "friends" in the end, but the quality of those new relationships will doubtless be better overall, since your friendship will not compete with loyalty to an organization. The very fact that you are expressing feelings of social displacement is testimony to the fact that most of those social relationships were not true friendships.
d4g
Yes I agree, I miss the socialising. I have had a few social events this year, but I was used to socialising every weekend and my kids having a big social life too. It's all gone now, in general people don't socialise as much as JWs do.
I suppose that was the love bombing, so it was just a recruiting strategy.
Kate xx
I agree. I think in part the constant reminder that "not everyone in the hall is good association", and the you better turn people in if they do something talk has put a damper on getting close to each other. Plus I don't know about you, but so much of the meetings is negative, all about what you are doing that will make god mad at you, and how horrible everyone is, and don't go outside because your neighbors are going to rape then murder you.
Plus the majority of jws are poor and need every bit of extra energy to eek out a living. Who has time or energy to go out of there way to associate - its easier to watch TV and not have that pressure.
The feeling of closeness, camaraderie, friendship with like minded people you could trust.Well I don't know what exactly you mean by people you can trust. Trust not to steal? Trust not to molest your kids? My brother in law stole from his employer and got removed as an elder. He moved away so he could get reinstated, which happened in no time of course. Child abuse, no further need to enlarge on that problem.
Haven't experienced it since I left.
I think we all let people down sometimes by not being what they want us to be, I know I have. But in times of great need I have found people who care and who have helped me. They have kept me sane, no exaggeration. Some are atheists, some are religious.
As for friendship and social needs two Hindu ladies at work gave me lovely small presents at Xmas. We all went out for a colleague's sixtieth birthday a few weeks ago. It was spontaneous and informal and I had a great time. I've joined a pub quiz group through meetup and it's fascinating getting used to all the new personalities. I still have a friend I worked with thirteen years ago and a lady l met when volunteering four years ago.
I trust people as a group to help and support me when at work because my experience has taught me that as a team they usually do although individuals sometimes can get on my nerves. The key thing is they don't care what I believe or whether I attend a church or not. Just don't look for perfection anywhere. Perfect people are a myth as are tame lions on your lawn.
90% of the brothers and sisters are terrific people. They are our friends and they wouldn't shun us if the borg didn't require them to do so. Most are very trustworthy, normal humans that have been misled, like all of us were at one time.
I agree 100% with DOC.
just saying!
eyeuse2badub
