In looking over the various criteria mentioned in the opening post I think that a person would be helped by doing these things in the following order:
First you have to get healthy mentally/emotionally yourself. If you have no healthy tools you're not going to be able to find yourself, cope with loss, or perhaps even examine the beliefs. I personally think that you can do anything better when you start out from a place of health, or at least stability on some level both mentally and emotionally.
So I'm guessing then I'd have to say #4 would be my start. It was my start. I started by getting into self-help. For others that might be therapy. Whatever, but learning how you work, what issues you may have in your personality, cognition, any disorderd ways of being or thinking, etc. can give you a place to start. I think you have to be able to separate who you are and what you've believed or what's been placed on you apart.
I think that #2 plays well off of #4 in that once you start seeing what is yours you also start to see what isn't yours, like I said what has been placed on you. Those things aren't just difficulties that hurt you after you leave, but you'll also see a lot of them in some of the exploration of yourself in the previous step.
I'm not sure that I fully understand #3, but it makes sense that it might fit here. I'm worn out and tired from a long week so maybe something just isn't connecting mentally for me in trying to understand it. The more tired I get, the less able I am to focus and read with my own ADHD issues. Since I don't necessarily grasp it wholly, I won't expound on it, but it also may not be a place to linger and educate, but may be better left out or briefly mentioned. It could take unnecessary time to get into explanations.
Then I'd go to #1 and help the person deal with the grief of their losses, not just family and friends but of faith and the years spent pursuing something that amounted to nothing. I think that people need the foundation from the steps above to really deal well with grief.
After that I'd go to #6 and dealing with the loneliness. Once you've accepted reality in step #1 now you're going to feel lonely. If you're busy in steps 4,2, and 3 at first you may be busy enough not to truly notice how lonely you are. Working on oneself can be beneficial not just to make you a better and stronger person, but to escape from harsh realities until you're more ready for them.
I think #5 comes last. Once you've figured out and understood what you've dealt with in life you can start shedding the things that aren't authentic. Once you get past the grief of your losses you can shed the impact on your identity that those other people had in your life. Now you're free of the past enough to start finding yourself. If you have too much baggage hanging on it's going to be difficult to find yourself. Heck, I'm somewhat at this stage myself today.
So, I'd go 4, 2, 3, 1, 6, 5. My concentration would be on 4 and 2 (and maybe 3?) as I think they're the most important, and that they will naturally lead into some of these other things with that better and more healthy foundation.
I speak of my own experience. I got healthy first while still in the cult. It took me some time but it was a fascinating process and very consuming. Once I was healthy and acted more healthy the cult started distancing themselves from me as much as I was them. Then I left, took time to deconstruct beliefs, realized where I was in life and accepted it, and now I'm finding myself without the baggage of the past weighing me down as much. It does still impact me, nobody gets away unscathed, we all have scars, but it's easier to maneuver without that extra weight.
Oops, forgot to say how long I've been out. My third Shunniversary is coming up on September 2. We disassociated almost three years ago. It took several years before that to wake up and get healthy enough to take stands and get out.