Rivalry among the sisters
@KateWild - All the best with your new career goals. I completed my diploma in the last couple of weeks at 30yo. Guna start my degree and new job in January. It's an admin post for a finance team and hopefully work my way.
Even though I'm part qualified it's been such a challenge to get my foot in the door because companies want experience too. But my advice keep trying and perserving and I wish you all the best Kate.
Thanks platinum fix.....you just got to keep pushing eh?
In the halls with a higher socioeconomic tendency, you would feel the need to have name brand bags and purses and high quality garments. So there are halls out there where people don't look down on others for making large purchases. This for me was a pain personally. The upkeep was just too expensive and taxing to deal with. Don't let them make you feel bad. They have issues with your beauty and personal possessions...they have issues with my weight that I don't fit the perfect mold of a sister. They will always have issues and complaints. That's how they brow beat us and keep us in our place. My advice....run as fast as you can...or hide. Whatever works.
JWs live in a legalistic environment where their sense of self-worth is dependent on the approval of others over trivial matters such as number of hours on a card, dress codes, how much they comment at meetings and so on.
In other words, the entire WT system thrives on this sort of cattiness.
I never noticed much. But, I never had any really nice things. I remember the older kids seemed competitive. I just had a really good group of friends growing up. A bunch of us had difficult backgrounds so we sort of clung to each other.
I don't really think I was viewed as competition. Anyways, if there was any for the most part I was probably way into my own little world to really notice, lol.
In my mid-twenties I was ignored a lot by the girls my age. I'm not sure if that was competition or they just had their own little click. But, that was kinda hurtful cause I did reach out to them.
I find the opposite these days..... they dress up to the nines because its the only thing they have to spend their money on. JW women have zero mental stimulation, its cruel. People are like kids ....the busier and more fulfilled they are the mukier they generally look as its lower on their list of priorities.Where I live in London only the poor and their kids "dress up" for everyday stuff.......same principal.
Normal for JW Women. As a born in JW woman this is what life has always been like. I still suffer from low self esteem due to backing off from trying to deal with these s for such a long time..
I never could understand it myself. I was treated the way the open posts describes myself. I just never could grasp the hatefulness. One sister in the hall always got tickets to the opening season of baseball the first year my husband and I were invited to go along. Now everyone had to pay for their own tickets so it was not like she was out money but after the first time we were never invited again though she would always make it a big deal in the hall so we knew we were excluded? Why?
I always got my cloths used and this one time I splurged on a new skirt, I felt so good in it until I went to the meeting and this sister came running up to me and loudly said 'you look so nice? Is that new?' I was like yes and thank you I think. She than said 'how much did you pay for it' very loudly. I just wanted to crawl away but I instead mumbled the price as I was just so shocked at her rudeness. She than said 'WOW I could never spend that much on a skirt, maybe for my daughter but I just never would spend that for a skirt for me.' Even the other sisters who were clearly overhearing this looked shocked as I crawled away in shame.
Another time I got a new service bad that was leather it looked very expansive but cost me $4.00. Again the first time I used it a different sister who had, had three children out of wedlock with three different men before becoming a JW and who lived on welfare while pioneering came straight up to me and told me what a cute service bag I had and how she wished she could afford something like that but well you know with three kids that would never be possible. Again I was just appalled. Really?
This does not even begin to go into all the times I was excluded from get together, etc. I was always told after the fact of how much fun it was and how they enjoyed the movie or dinner together, to bad I was not there but maybe next time.
It was just spit-fullness and hatefulness. And for what reason I could never understand. What was their pay back?
My sister says (and still does) that she never had a 'real' friend in the Hell. She says the sisters are superficial and that makes it hard to have a real friendship with them. I remember, gosh, must have been 8 years ago that she was in a real funk. The reason? A sister who she thought was her best friend just decided one day she was not a 'good' associate because she went to see a pg-13 movie. The kicker...she went behind my sisters back, gossiped to everyone about her to the point a couple of Elders had a talk with her. My sister was devastated. The best thing...the movie she went to was attended by myself, another brother who was an elder, his wife, and another Ministerial Servant. None of us was questioned.
My point....the 'cattiness' by the sisters is something that is real. I remember even a few Servants meetings where the issue was brought up concerning sisters. Usually ending in someone cracking a joke about 'her time of the month' or something like that...
Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts !
@katewild, is it ok for you if I ask you a few questions concerning your career? I don't want you to feel unconfortable.
@whom ever said that JWs women don't have much going on in their lives: I think it's quite the contrary. They are busy people with busy schedules. Why would a special pioneer wast her precious time gossiping instead of taking care of "spiritual" matters?
I do agree with you. The sisters dress up as though they were going to attend a fashion show (which In my opinion is a good thing). It is more noticeable during the special week or during the annual convention. On normal days, most of them dress plainly except for the elderettes and her four daughters. They always look nice and glamorous. You can tell that they put a lot if work in their makeup and nail polish. one day I came to the meeting with a little bit of make up (nothing too dramatic, just mascara and blush) and my hair down (I usually pin my hair for a more professional look). They seemed bothered.
sometimes I wish my friend was still in. I would have someone to talk to before and after the meetings. It doesn't bother me not to fit in any cliques as I'm a looner by nature. I can cope with solitude. What bothers me, though, is that the bratz who actively try to exclude me might think that their sneaky ways make me miserable. This could be the case if my life revolved around the organization... My friend switched congregation for this very issue. I went to the Spanish congregation several times to visite her, I never saw her. The last time I saw her was a year ago. She confessed to me that she was dating a "wordly" men. I hope she didn't get disfellowshipped for that. I hope she is enjoying life!