Rivalry among the sisters

by Esmeralda001 51 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LongHairGal


    Sorry your sister went back there - especially after so many years! What can I say? Certain people miss things about the religion: association? a certain feeling?

    It certainly isn't me. I walked away. Any "good" feeling I ever had was just an illusion and as transitory as mist.

    You say she is going to do things differently? She's going to have to end up being mostly a loner because the "trustworthy" friends she's looking for are rare. Maybe a senior citizen here and there fits the description you give. Anybody younger or in the "IN" crowd I wouldn't trust as far as I can throw them!

    I wish HER all the best but quite honestly, I'd never tolerate any of this garbage now!

  • talesin

    Someone told me about this later in life, and said that as a JW, they always thought I was 'snotty'. I asked him why and REALLY? It was because of my dressing up (okay) and being a 'goody-two shoes', plus I never spoke much or 'hung out' with the other kids at assemblies and such. Well, I was very shy, and also thought I was too fat, bad hair, not good enough. I didn't speak much with kids my age because my parents kept a tight leash on me.

    So I apologize to all you, who were kids my age, who thought I was 'snotty'. I would LOVE to have been your friends. Unfortunately, I was controlled by my parents, and "Barbie" would have been a better name than my real one, to describe what I seemed to be. A puppet, and mother's little doll. (Inside, it was a whole 'nuther story).

    This makes me even happier that I left 'young', and had to neither endure the antics of elderettes, or (horror of horrors!) BEEN one! And, now, while typing and reflecting on this, I wonder how many of those 'elderettes' are sad, lonely, and wish they were dead, like I did when I was the perfect JW 'Barbie'. It's so SAD. xoxo

    EDIT: LHG - my friends were the seniors - you got that right! smh *sigh*

  • LongHairGal


    Isn't that the truth! My only "real" friends there WERE older people. They probably took pity on the young woman they saw who worked full-time and was courageous and outspoken and misunderstood by most of the small-minded born-ins in the religion. I must have scared the hell out of them HA HA.

    I have very fond memories of a few elderly there and they will never know that I know "The Truth About The Truth", and that THIS is the reason I'm not there anymore - NOT because I was "stumbled" or committing "immorality" like some want to believe!

  • talesin

    LHG - just realized this week, I am 'older' hahaha. I still miss those friendships, and my grandparents. Old people are special - most of them have lived long enough; seen it all, done it all; that they are no longer judgmental. I think that was always one of the attractions for me --- also, I loved hearing their stories of days gone by.

    Those older folk, probably loved you a lot, and you might be surprised by how many of them secretly KNOW, why you left! You know what I mean? They keep their counsel (silence), but many of them see the difference in the Society, and probably realize how corrupt it is. I bet some of them are glad you have your freedom. *smiles*

  • LongHairGal


    Thanks, I'm older now too.

    I'd like to think some of the elderly see that something is very wrong with the religion. It is so sad that countless sincere people have come and gone in this religion! For the very elderly, it really is TOO late to leave and they are there for the association and I understand.

    But, for the rest of us who were being driven mad or mistreated, we had to get out. Have a Great Christmas and New Years!

  • Esmeralda001
    I understand what you are saying. Don't think that I don't realize how much harm i'm doing to myself by sticking around. I'm trying to rationalize my fascination. I've been affiliated with the JWs for two years. This might not look like much to you, but it was enough time for me to fall in love with the JWs philosophy . As miserable as I feel, a part of me just refuses to let go. Telling an indoctrinated person to leave a cult is like telling an broken woman to end an abusive relationship. It seems simple and logical. But logic and rationality are the two things that i'm lacking at this point of my life. I don't need to examine the situation any longer. It appears very clear to me: I was looking for God in the wrong place. I will move on! gradually... For now i'm grieving the loss. I'm in a phase of disillusion. I don't feel the energy to attend the meetings anymore. The pain is so great that all I want to do is to copulate. So now not only do I have to accept the truth as it is, I have to fight my sinful tendencies (thank God I don't have a lover, because that would be the cherry on top.) I doubt i'm in an healthy state of mind at this moment. I don't want to deal with this situation. For this reason i'll keep postponing it. When i'm ready, i'll call my study conductor to end my bible study. Satan is misleading human kind. I can't wait for the day where everything will fall into place. Until then, let's pray for the best while expecting the worst.

    Happy new year y'all . Best wishes! xox
    Gros bisou!
  • LongHairGal


    I'm really sorry for all the pain certain people in the JW religion are causing you. The politics in the religion are nasty and women are very cruel. This is so opposite to the "Christianity" they preach about.

    Back when I was a young woman in the JWs, there were NO Internet forums like this where troubled Witnesses could go to talk about bad experiences and hear what other Witnesses have gone through, like us here....There were no books in libraries so I had to suffer in silence.

    Now, the world is a different place with the Internet and also the public is more enlightened about religions, high control groups and cults. Tragedies such as Jonestown made national news and are still talked about. So, there is a lot to read online and a person can learn what others have experienced.

    So, whatever you finally decide is up to YOU...If you are happy in the JWs, that's fine, because some people are. But at least you'll know what to expect. Have a Happy New Year!

  • truthlover


    You wear and look the way you want -- I do!! I wear Coach, Kors, LV, Vera Wang, love jewelry -- and the list goes on

    I purchase what I want when I want, and if someone has something to say, I agree with them, shuts them up mostly.... always with a smile on your face...

    If you can afford it, do it...

  • truthlover


    Who would ever think you are snotty?? In Nova Scotia - perish the thought.... our paths probably have crossed


    If you are single, then you are independent, and married women have a reason to be jealous -- or think they do.. after all, your a working gal, making money, not answering to a spiritual head who may or may not keep you in line... (sarcasm).. you have a lot going for you -- that they don't -- so don't look for close relationships unless it is with the older folk or single females... hey -- they don't even include singles in their prayers!!

  • nimrath

    Back in the early 80's I purchased a new Porsche and the very first meeting I drove it to, I had both brothers and sisters making comments regarding "new cars" and materialism. They made these comments as an embellishment to a Watchtower Study that was unrelated to materialism.

    Interestingly, they "looked down" on you if they perceived you were doing too well but they also "looked down" upon our poorer brethren.

    Difficult to fall into an income bracket that made them feel comfortable. What I surmised was that they didn't want to associate with you if you were poor but they wanted to be, at least, a little bit ahead of you to feel comfortable.

    Many years later, my daughter commented on how the "established" sisters appeared to be in the midst of a competitive "purse war".

    If I ever decide to return, I'll need to reinstall the tea-trays on both of my 911s (for effect).

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