Rivalry among the sisters
(steps warily into the discussion)
Could the disproportionate ratio of sisters to brothers have anything to do with this behaviour?
(ducks and cowers)
As a born in, I experienced much the same. There were those 'sisters' that always had something to say about my hair, my clothes, my car, my employment, my weight, how much money I earned, what I spent my money on, how much I spent, why I needed to constantly buy new things, why I had a very active social life, who my friends were, who I spoke with - the list goes on. I also have an older brother so I knew a lot of his friends well which also didn't go down well with many 'sisters'... Yes, there was those that didn't like me much & made a life out of bitching about me... But learnt early on not to give a shit what they thought...
Human beings are tribal-status-oriented; it's how we evolved to survive.
In a tribe where women don't have much room for status advancement, however, there cannot help but be fierce competition for what little there is to go around.
There most certainly is a pecking order in the congregation. If you care about such things life will be hard for you.
Why invest in relationships that offer no return or negative returns? When I used to try to please people in the congregation I got shat on. Hang around with assholes and eventually you'll get shit on.
mrs hoser and I don't give a rats ass anymore about the social stratification that goes on in the hall and the world in general. It is a lonely path to walk down but at least we miss out on most of the drama that goes on.
We have few friends but the ones we have don't laugh at or criticize us. If they did they wouldn't be our friends.
There is a sister in our hall and to be fair she is nice. The only think I dislike about her is when she keeps asking me about my job. She is a pioneer and its like she is discreetly having a go at me for being full time. It's got to the point I try to avoid her because she will ask me how my job is going. Also...it's so true about what's said on this thread about the sisters, particularly the gossip. My wife is probably up there with the best of them when it comes to gossip at the hall. Every week it's ' hey won't believe ............
you'd be better off giving generic responses to how your job is going. NEVER say how much money you make. It's none of their freakin business.
hoser - totally agree with you.....just hope my wee gossip off a wife keeps it zipped though
I'm a full time student who works 25-35hrs/week as a lab technician at my school, so I guess you could say that I'm working full time somewhat. What's so bad about this? Why do the brothers and sisters have a problem with this? Are they going to pay my bills? I don't think so.
Despite their claims of being nothing like the World, their various congregations seem to mirror the local demographics of socioeconomic status. My parents are in a wealthy hall and there is designer purse one-upmanship and vacation home envy. If you can't keep up with the Joneses, well, you'll probably be left out of the social scene.
In other poorer areas, if you advertize your wealth by material means, well, they'll put you in your place by making catty comments and shutting you out of the social scene.
It's because of their strong tendency towards conformity (which they mistakenly thing of as unity). They are like herd animals, anything different is not safe to them. It sends up danger signals in their brains when anyone is different. They must have "unity" to be God's people.
I would also be annoyed at that sister who kept asking about my full-time job! Where do these delusional people in the religion imagine money comes from??
I am glad I'm not there anymore. I'm not interested in any hard-luck stories - and I'm sure there are plenty of them.
I was one of those with a full-time job who was criticized and not considered "spiritual" because of it... Well... Thankfully, I never listened to them and am retired now.
Then again, they have a double standard: a man works full-time and that's okay; a single woman works full-time and she's considered "weak" or "not spiritual".
Well..Let them all go ask their "spiritual" friends for money...It was NO brotherhood back when I was being shunned and criticized for supporting myself.. So, I don't care even if Armageddon came tomorrow. I'd never help them.