I love my mom very much.
She is the reason why I am still entangled with the borg. It would break her heart if I stopped going to meetings.
For now I am willing to put up with the wt crap for her sake.
For those without mothers
by Lady Lee 59 Replies latest jw friends
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wannaexit
My heart goes out to all of you that have lost your moms. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
Death is inevitable and I know that one day I may face the pain that you are feeling today.
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myself
I lost a part of my mother due to a man made (dis)organized religion. I know she loved me but, she bought into a belief that told her that she must choose their way or she and her children were doomed. I lost her entirely from this life due to death. Last night I cried as I went through Mother's Day cards in the store as it again echos the loss that I feel. The memories of her death have finally become memories of her voice, and her life. They say time heals all wounds, but I'll tell you, it sure leaves one hell of a scar.
Big hugs to all of you who because of a religion, or because of death, or because of circumstances beyond their control have no mother.
Karla
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fairy
my mother died dec 12 2000.........and because of being a witness we never had "mothers day"........i wish it was different.........she was a very good mother, brought up 12 kids and i never told her to her face that i loved her but since she died i say it to her every night......our family wasnt the type of family that went around saying i love you to one another.......i just want to say that i love her more than words can describe....when mothers day is here i will still say to her "happy mothers day" ................
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SheilaM
(((((((((HUGGGGGZZZZZZZ)))) Wow, I have sat here with tears pouring down my face. Prisca, LadyLee, Dede, BigTex and any I missed.
Thank you for sharing I hope Thunder reads this. I at least knew deep down my Mother loved me despite some of the things she did or said. I didn't have the best of relationship but I know she tried. But, Thunder oh my he has an ice cube for a Mother and she is heartless. I'm copying this thread for Thunder to read. The pain parents can cause is so horrible. Parents should be love and support not that parents are perfect but MY GOD how can people cause such pain on babies. I hope to God I never cause my children pain like this or my Grandbaby. I would rather die first.
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Nikita
Thank you, Lady Lee, for such a heartwarming as well as heartwrenching thread. Hugs to all of you. I, too, lost my Mom in 1994 to Ovarian Cancer. She was only 48 and I was finally pregnant with her 1st grandchild. She managed to see an ultrasound I had, but she was gone several months before my daughter was born. I will never forget something she said to me when she knew that this time around, there would be no "remission" as there had been several times before.
She said, "Leslie, if I am not here when that baby comes, I will be that baby." In so many ways, she is "that baby." I see her smile. That same sparkle in her eyes, I see in my childs. Her little mannerisms mirror those of Mom's.
Here is one of my fave pictures of Mom with 3 of us (of the 4 kids.)
And another, more recent one:
Thanks again, for sharing all of your stories and allowing me to share mine.
Leslie
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Xandria
My mother, was not always a good mom. But life does not come with an owner’s manual and with every thing you will make mistakes.
It just makes me sad that towards the end did she realize some important things, when it was basically too late to change things. She passed in 1994 from cancer. Then I lost my second mom in 1998 also to cancer. She was my husband’s mother, and I could speak to her about things I could not share with my own mother.
My sister and my memories of our mother are bittersweet. I don’t think my brother has as many memories of mom. He rarely speaks of her. When she passed he was only 10 years old. He really did not get to say goodbye, like my sisters did. He did not attend the funeral, his father is partially to blame for that. Anyway~
Happy Mother’s Day
Xandria
Mom and I .. our first photo op.
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bikerchic
Oh darn you Lady Lee for this post! No really (((((((((((Lady Lee)))))))))))
I'm going to ramble here and this is going to be a very long probably boring post so you can stop reading it now and save yourself from my ramblings........I just have to type this, I hope I don't hit the back button and I bare my soul for you all to see, maybe someone will give me a much needed hug.*hint,hint*
Via an old JW girlfriend that I contacted a couple of months ago when I was visiting family, I think the JW gosip mill has been running amuck and now my Mom probably my sisters also know that I don't want anything more to do with being a witness........d'oh! Sheese I left and haven't been to a meeting in 2+years and as far as they know married a "worldly" man, wonder what they thought I was doing? Maybe going to try and convert my new hubby?LOL
Anyway that's just part of the problem. I just got an email from my Mom, the Doctor found a lump in her breast she goes for a biopsy later this month. The sad thing is that her emails have been very breif and business like which made me suspect she knows how I feel about NOT being a JW. Now at a time in her life when she maybe very sick she will cut me off? WTF........and to make it worse I live so far away from her now it's not like I can drive a few hours and see her. I'm really scared, concerned and so sad about this!
My Mom is a "stoic" person. When you get a hug from her you know it's genuine because they aren't given freely. Not how I am with my kids. She has just in recent years started to tell me she loves me like when we've talked on the phone and are saying our good-byes, this is a change for her also, it always means so much to me to hear those words from her. I didn't hear them much growing up, I didn't feel loved growing up, I always felt like a burden and unloveable, I never understood it, never knew what I did or didn't do to be so unloved. I had a huge gapping hole in my heart and became a people pleaser to the max to feel loved. I've changed that about myself, mostly now I'm just generous to a fault.
After reading what some of you have said about your Mother's it made me come to terms with how I'm feeling about mine. I hope she doesn't have cancer! I couldn't stand for her to die, I don't want her to be sick, to feel pain or to be scared, sad, lonely.........and I feel so very far away from her right now!
My journey to heal the wounds of my dysfunctional family started with addressing my Father and his alcoholizm and how it affected me, my kids and my brother and sisters. In this journey I kept finding that I was more angry at my Mom than at my Dad. For a couple of years I seethed, I couldn't talk to my Mom, I was VERY ANGRY at HER and not my Dad! It was eating me up, so I really worked hard on trying to first come to terms with it, understand why I felt so horrible towards her then I put into motion the process of healing the wounds........all this while she was 500 miles away and really not knowing how I felt about her which was a good thing! Then one day.......I can still remember the day the place and the time, my heart just opened up to love, I knew that I forgave her and that I loved her and needed her in my life and did everything from that day forward to let her know.........I just changed my attitude, my heart was mended and we got on with life not as it was but better than it was. We will never be close as a Mother and daughter can be, not like I am with my girls, but we are friends. We go places together, we talk, we laugh and we have fun together, we understand each other. We are at peace with how different we both are and I love her for her difference.
But now I feel this huge loss! This whole JW shunning thing sucks! I don't want to loose my Mom, but if I have to I hope it's only to the JW shunning and not to cancer. I can overlook the shunning and be in her face with love, but I can't do it if she isn't alive. I'm so overcome with saddness right now and this thread brings it all up. I'll end my story and address what some of you have said that really touched me.
Dede as always you touch my heart. I really want to reach through this screen and give you a big hug! You are a dear person and I feel from the bottom of my heart that you would bring so much joy to your Mother watching you with your own children, I'm sure Dede you brought your Mother a lot of joy while she was alive and in fact probably added years to her life in ways you don't even understand.
Big Tex I can totally understand where you are coming from and I haven't suffered the abusive childhood traumas you have. It sounds like you've come to terms with it and realize that they were very sick parents and you certainly deserved much better. You are doing an incredibly wonderful thing by ending the legacy of family abuse by raising your children in a loving, safe home. You are totally awesome and I could go on and on but it would make ona jealous!
(((((Prisca)))))........wow your words really hit me:
feel so envious who have mothers who die in old age. They've had their mother through their growing-up years, being there to see their momentous events such as graduation, getting married, having kids etc. Someone who knows what their childhood illnesses were, someone who knows the family history. Someone who shares some physical resemblance to them!!!
I'm sorry you lost your Mother at such a young age and I will remember what you've said it's truely wisdom coming from you as you've been there.
Mulan I think that's a great tradition you and your Mother have. My kids always have given me cards on Mother's Day and I love it. I've never given my Mom one because she would be insulted yet this year I really wish I had sent one. I wonder if it' would be rude to send one late?
JH I hope you celebrate Mother's Day this year with the family, how awesome!
pr_capone my advice to you is to be the better person, burry the hatchet, let by-gones be by-gones and start treating your family the way you want to be treated. No matter how awkward it seems at first someone has to begin, it really gets easy the more you do it and especially when you get good responses from them. Sometimes when a parent screws up and too many years have gone by the hardest thing to do is to apologize, just don't you repeat her mistakes! Hey you wanted to be adopted, thats what I would tell my son!
mattnoel I'm so sad for you too. I know that feeling that they are there somehow watching over you, it's comforting in many ways. I still talk to my Dad and my brother and am sorry for the things they are missing out on. Weird in a way.
(((((((((((Lady Lee))))))))))) thanks for starting this thread, it was cathartic for me, I've been bawling like a baby while typing my reply, but I feel a bit better now. You are a very dear person and I always love reading what you have to say. Everyones replies were so touching, this was a hard thread for me to read today of all days, but I was rivited to the whole thread and laughed and cried. I'm just so emotional, sheese!
Katie *taking a deep breath, waiting to exhale*...........whew!
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DFWnonJW
Stumbled into this thread not knowing just what I would find. All I can say is that you are all some amazing people!!! I feel for what you have been through and am awed by your will power and strength.
I've been wondering if I should do anything special for my mom this weekend despite her religion. Well, her religion be damned - she's having a Mother's Day this year and she's going to know that it's a Mother's Day too. No pretense. She's 81 and very frail and we all know that she may not be around much longer and that is such a shame because she is one of the good ones. One of those people that will put herself out to help others. The religion thing has caused a great deal of stress and tension in the family for almost my entire life but despite that, she hasn't shunned any of us. We wouldn't let her anyways! She understands quite well that her family, as troublesome as we can be are now all she has left. So get ready mom, you're about to be celebrated. Like it or not.
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myself
Nikita & Xandria, what beautiful pictures! That is a wonderful way to remember your mothers.