For those without mothers

by Lady Lee 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Mothers Day can bring up many issues for some of us.

    For some their mothers have passed away and the opportunity to say I love you in person is forever lost.

    For others our mothers are lost to the borg. In fact, we may never have had the opportunity to celebrate a Mother's Day with them. And the whole policy on shunning can make relationships distant or non-existent.

    SO... if you want to send a message to your mother, but for whatever reasons that is impossible feel free to share your message, your hopes or even a memory

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I WISH

    I wish I had a mom who could love me unconditioanlly

    Who I could call and just say HI

    To tell about my day and what I did

    To make plans with and just drop by.

    I wish I had a mom who loved me right or wrong

    To tell me secrets and my joys

    To share all sorrows and pain

    To share the ups and downs

    I wish I could tell her that she was really great

    and always knew she was there

    I wish I could hug her

    And say I still do care

    I wish the hurts of yesterday

    had never been at all

    I wish that she could love me

    Without her thick black walls

    So mother if you think of me

    This coming holiday

    Please know I wish it was different

    We'd celebrate Mother's Day

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    Well I'm glad that my mom is gone, I know thats sounds extremely mean but if my mother was still alive I know she would be ssooo disappointed in me. It's easier to take her loss than to deal with the fact that she would be so hurt by me not being a jw anymore. Sorry, I know this is a downer but this is how I look at my situation with my mother.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Obiwan I can really understand this. It is reality and one that hurts. I hope that if she is looking down on you (cuz I wouldn't know what goes on after death) that she realizes that the truth about the JW beliefs and is glad you are free.

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    Thanks, I can only hope.

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002
    For others our mothers are lost to the borg. In fact, we may never have had the opportunity to celebrate a Mother's Day with them. And the whole policy on shunning can make relationships distant or non-existent.

    This thread and the comments in it brought a tear to my eye.

    I wish I could celebrate holidays like that with my mother.

    Instead she is 2,000 miles away and so indoctrinated in the JW cult that she will die believing in it and forever think that I am a disappointment and a bad son because I chose to no longer be a JW.

    Those were her words.

    I still love you Mom, even if sometimes I wonder if you love me as much or in the same way.

    Thanks Lady Lee.

  • Francois
    Francois

    My mother is dead to me for two reasons. One is the Borg. The other is that she is the co-dependent in a dysfunctional marriage.

    However, due to my cosmic beliefs, I feel I will have association with my mother and any and every one else I wish from this life in the next level of being. I don't mean that I entertain a belief in reincarnation on the planet. I believe there is another level of being after this one, on a different planet, on a higher level of life. And another after that. And one after that one. And so on and on until finally we arrive at the center of all things.

    This is just an initial test life. I will be able to explain to my mother all about JWs and why they were wrong on the next level of being. It will be mighty hard for her to claim the JWs are right from that particular venue, won't it?

    francois

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002
    I will be able to explain to my mother all about JWs and why they were wrong on the next level of being. It will be mighty hard for her to claim the JWs are right from that particular venue, won't it

    Yes it would Francois, yes it would.

    Although I do not necessarily agree with your belief system (and no one is asking me to, I just felt the need to clarify my stance) I do respect it.

    I noticed your other post a few days ago about being an lonely old man and anxious to shuffle off this mortal coil. You are not alone Francois. We have disagreed from time to time, but I respect you as a person for the conviction of your beliefs and your intelligence. Let us not forget we have also adamantly agreed from time to time.

    Sounds like you need a hug.

    (((((Francois)))))

    Try to enjoy the time you DO have left here.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Reborn

    A few years ago (OK a long time ago) the JWs changed their policy so that they could talk to DFed and DAed ones. I remember the joy families had at being able to be reunitied.

    I truly believe that the love that most parents have for their children is not lost. It is buried deep inside. When they are free I believe most will regret the hurts and reconnect with those they have shunned. Don't live a dream but don't give it up either

    Good point Francois

  • Ravyn
    Ravyn

    This Mother's Day is hard for me. I don't know why. Up until this year I was searching for the appropriate card that was not too sentimental because my mother, aside from being a JW(she was not a particularly 'good' JW growing up), was not an especially loving mother to me. I am still trying to figure it all out, and I may never get to the bottom of it all. She had a bad childhood, no mother herself and didn't even know who her father was. She was raised by a great aunt who also raised her mother(my grandmother)when HER mother died when she was only 5. So I am like third generation mother-less and my grandmother and aunt Tillie both died when I was still a young teenager. My mother was good when I was a toddler. I remember her playing with me and being very creative and imaginative. But as baby I was neglected, and by the time I was 4 she was pregnant with my sister-who was born handicapped, plus my mom had to deal with a schizo husband who cheated. So I kinda got left out of the family picture. It was not a bad thing. Just a lonely thing. So now my father is remarried to this absolute b!tch who is cruel and makes Cinderella's step-mother look like June Cleaver! But that does not matter to me either--I was in my 30's when all that happened. Maybe some of this is because the next Sunday after Mother's Day is my birthday--41. I am not doing the forties thing too well. I can't believe I am in my 40's now. I don't know what to do with it! I was never prepared for this! And I don't exactly have a mother I can ask about it. She is still distant. But she is going to be 75 June 5th and I don't know how many more Mother's days and Birthdays she will be around. Then there will be a whole new set of problems...my sister is handicapped and has two teen age boys who may or may not have mental problems, and I am the only one left to deal with all of it. Oh gosh...can I just run away for Mother's Day?

    I got mom two cards this year. The pretty sparkly one that says things I really don't mean but looks nice that both me and husband sign, and then I got her one just from me. I picked up a couple of magazines she will like and I put it all in a big envelope to be sent off last monday...well husband forgot to send it and yesterday tells me that he didn't send it. I just lost it. I dissolved into tears and rage and screamed at him that it was important to me that they got there on time because I didn't know how many more Mother's Days I was going to have and he always had them-but I didn't! He went right out and sent the envelope over-night. But where did THAT come from? dang--think it is menopause? Geez--wish I had a mother to talk to about it. I am just a mess right now. Swirls of sarcasm and pain and I am not even sure why. So I will end this post and go wash my face.

    This may sound awful, but ever since I was a child I wanted my mom to die so I would have a chance to have a mom, then it was in Paradise which was just around the corner, now it is so maybe when she is on the other side of all this confusion and pain that has been her life, maybe she can finally help me understand somethings. Uggg I don't know how I am going to get thru this week end with the in laws.

    Ravyn

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