I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please

by scared and lonely 161 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Finkelstein

    Such a sad tale this is, a guy spending a time in his life when he should learning and intellectually growing but gets stilted by a fraudulent deviously corrupt religious cult, created no less upon lies, ignorance and fear.

    Oh well I guess this situation can help outsiders see what can happen to people in religious cults like the JWS.

  • talesin

    s&l, I have observed and read this thread since you first posted it, and stopped on page 3 or 4.

    To your latest post on this page, yes. Read the suggestions, take a deep breath, and make a plan. Read other threads, make some comments, see the kind of support offered, and you will realize "I can do this." When you're ready, start a new thread, asking for any suggestions of help in implementing your new plan. You'll get lots of support, and your unfortunate introduction will be let go.


    There have been some incredibly smart con people who've done harm over the years. In fact, 10 years ago, that second post or link may have been swiftly deleted, because of the ask.

    We are lucky to have folks like Nathan Natas to 'growl' a warning. When I left the JWS, I was so naive. Good with money and business, but socially? Not a clue. Is this elder behaviour? I think not. He is a supportive person, an advocate of children and women. He urges independent thinking. Yes, he can be strong in his choice of words. He's more like a *real* big brother, which I never had. Mine was faux.

    Let's all take a deep breath, especially you, s&l, and leave this particular drama behind.

  • Acts5v29

    Good evening S & L

    I have confirmed who I am to at least 3 people privately and infact one of them scarily knows many people in my circuit.

    With unhinged people like wingcommander around there is absolutely no way I will give away sensitive information publicly on this forum.

    very sensible - don't give yourself anything further to worry about.

    By the way, I wouldn't worry about being an "apostate" - to question some doctrine is not apostasy, nor is pointing out a flaw in doctrine: the flaw - and those who uphold them - are the apostates. But to question or to leave through unhappiness at what you've discovered is not apostasy.

  • Giordano

    This has become an unprecedented issue in my five to six years on this forum........... a few Posters of long standing becoming a lynch mob!


    S & L Do not respond privately to anyone who has damned you or ridiculed you on this forum. They don't deserve knowing anything more about you.

    Do re-apply as a new member under a new name if that will be helpful. Or stick it out as S & L. Only PM those you feel are trustworthy. I am sure you will need the human contact and hopefully friendships that can result.

    There is no loose money here for anyone that sticks around. People come here to be helped with advice and then hopefully will pay it forward to help others.

  • WingCommander

    I'm not asking for S&L's personal info. Nor do I need any confirmation of his age, "status" in or out of the Cult, etc.

    I'll answer his question though. I was born into this mess, to parents (and grandmother) who were exposed to WT literature throughout their lives, and decided to convert when they were young adults, not long after 1975. They got dunked in 1983 as I recall. They didn't have the internet or research materials as we do. They didn't have JW Broadcasting either.

    They (and I) were sold a faux bill of goods. They're all dead. I'm left to pick up the pieces of this mess. My son has never (and never will) set foot into a KingDumb Hell. The more that comes out of this religion (that I no longer even recognize, it's disgusting!) the more angry I become. I wouldn't punch a street peddler; no. But if I got off the Amtrak in NYC and saw Lett or TOMOIII walking towards me, I'd lay them out on their holier-than-thou asses with one punch to the face and kick to the balls! And if I EVER happen upon Fred Franz's (the Oracle) grave, I will most definitely relieve myself upon it for all the rotten spiritual "food" that nutcase unleashed upon the world.

  • StephaneLaliberte

    Giordano, I have been on this forum for 9 years and this is the very first time that someone starts a thread by asking for money. Thus our desire for him to be properly identified.

    If he does not want any physical help from members from this site (Money, food, shelter), than, he does not have to properly identify himself. We will be more than happy to continue providing useful counsels and emotional support.

    On the other hand, if this kid (he lives with his parents) does need physical help, then, we want to make sure we are not taken for a ride. Now, how can we trust this guy from across the planet while allowing him to remain anonymous? At least, until he is properly disfellowshiped? I believe the most obvious way would be for an old timer of this site, a respected one, to be able to meet up with him and follow his case. Seriously, if he needs some money, I’ll be very happy to give him a 20. I just don’t want to be taken for a fool.

  • steve2

    Hi scared and lonely.

    I have come late to this discussion but have taken the time to read through all prior posts, both yours and others.

    I guess this forum is pretty much like life:

    Some people will warm to you, some will be wary, some indifferent and some change their minds. You will be on a hiding to nowhere if you try to get everyone to either like and/or emapthize with you.

    We can all look at what we've done and decide to do better next time. You know now your absolute biggest misstep was mentioning in your OP you had a funding link. Talk about a WTF? decision on your part! For some, it won't matter what you do after that - it will continue to comne across as suspicious. Please take responsibility for that misstep.

    I simply don't no whether you are bona fide or not - but for the purpose of this reply, I give you the benefit of the doubt.

    For some, that has established you as exploitative, trying to milk sympathy both in word and cash - whether you are exploitative or not is immaterial. It is all to do with first impressions lasting longest.

    I could comment on your child-like desperate tone but, hey, I dread to think how I may have sounded in my earlier years if forums such as this had existed. I'd like to think I would have had some presence of mind not to plop in my account some reference to funding. In fact, I can be quite certain I would not have because it is not part of my nature and I have always been self-respecting enough not to want or expect handouts.

    You come across as incredibly passive and at the mercy of everyone around you and somewhat unable or unwilling to build a life of your own.

    You could do with an independent person to talk this over in confidence. It would need to be someone who has not vested interest in keeping you in the organization or in getting you out. The best option would be a registered counsellor or psychologist. Your local community may have support groups that could point you in the direction of sound help from an independent source.

  • Finkelstein

    So WingCommander I guess that puts you down as a No

    ......... just kidding

    It isn't surprising to see the response from S&L's opening post and from his plead to hand out money to a total unknown stranger. Red flags went up quickly for many here.

    I'm pissed off with this cult as well for it has badly effected myself and my family for more years I'd like to admit.

    But that's why we are here folks, to give warning to the public and assist other trying to leave it.

    S&L might very well fall into that category now.

    Lets give him the benefit of doubt for now.

    I would like to hear what doctrines caused him to awaken as they say.

    From a deep analysis of his thinking, one should be able to evaluate and ascertain how honest and wroth right he really is .

  • cyberjesus

    You said they are pushing you to disassociate... can you elaborate.

    Also how long have you been an elder? As an elder how come you are confused about the term apostasy?

  • Finkelstein

    Well S&L the ball is in your court and you personalty are holding it.

    If you really are seeking help and assistance in leaving this religious cult you better be up front and honest about your approach.

    Right now at this moment I would say if you don't respond to pertaining questions like what doctrines have caused you to rethink the WTS/JWS etc people are going to expect and assume your a fraud,, a wolf in sheep clothing as it were.

    All is not lost yet .. keep talking in other words.

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