EX-JW's Divided- Marc and Cora Interview (page 2)

OrphanCrow

Thank you for posting this, OTWO.

I always appreciate it when bullying and abusive behavior is outed. Far too many bullies get away with their behavior because it is intentionally done behind closed doors and they also target "good" people - the kind that don't like to say bad things about others.

What Cora and Marc is describing is so typical of how even the best and nicest of people can be victimized and how their own "niceness" can turn around and bite them in the ass. Being "nice" all this time - not saying bad things about Cedar - has in actuality been very very harmful to many people. By being scared of upsetting the apple cart - you have allowed the bully to victimize even more people.

Marc and Cora and all of you who tried to protect the reputation of the exJW 'community' or the AAWA by not saying anything...owe everyone who has been hurt since, a HUGE apology.

It bugs me just a little that Marc and Cora didn't apologize for THEIR silence..their silence to this point has hurt people too.

Stand up to bullies and don't be silent. If you have been bullied, you MUST say so or other innocent victims will be hurt as well. For every victim who does not speak, many more will be hurt.

Staying quiet about bullying and abusive behavior, regardless of what it is...is NOT nice. How many times have you heard this from an 'friend' after someone has victimized you? "Well....I didn't say anything...but, he did the same thing to me. I didn't want to upset you or talk bad about anyone."

Well, thanks a facking bunch, friend - your silence just hurt me. So much for being a friend and being "nice"....

Terry

How will publicizing this internecine struggle help anything other than spreading gossip, starting a nattering campaign and filling the air with depressing negativity?

In other words, how does dragging me and you and others into it benefit the cause of Apostates who are activists?

This is a neutral question, not an accusation of intent.

punkofnice

I wonder if Marc and Cora and Lloyd Evans frequent this forum?

OrphanCrow

terry: How will publicizing this internecine struggle help anything other than spreading
gossip, starting a nattering campaign and filling the air with depressing negativity?

Well....maybe, just maybe...it will prevent yet another victim of bullying??????

Is that a problem for anyone? That one victim is warned before the abuse/bullying happens to them?

Do people not learn that silence kills?

Terry, your response sounds exactly like what someone would say who wants to keep silent about the fact that there is a pedophile in their congregation.

OnTheWayOut

Terry, I will answer "...how does dragging me and you and others into it benefit the cause of Apostates who are activists?" by replying to OrphanCrow. If that's not enough for you, nobody is forcing you to read on.

OrphanCrow, thank you for pointing out that it is appreciated "when bullying and abusive behavior is outed." Also, thanks for the timely warning that "even the best and nicest of people can be victimized."
I hope that this interview shows something of an apology from Marc and Cora for waiting in silence, or at least an explanation, but I was not really victimized in any of this, so I understand if your feelings are stronger and you wish they said and did more.

Simon

How will publicizing this internecine struggle help anything other than spreading gossip, starting a nattering campaign and filling the air with depressing negativity?

As people have said, being silent just enables an abuser to abuse more people. Talking out doesn't stop it, but at least warnings can be found if people take the care to look for them before risking their personal information with someone who may not be as trustworthy as they assume or completely looking out for their interests as they claim vs using them for self promotion.

Also, if someone is making a living out of "activism" then the last thing they really want to do is succeed at it! They develop a symbiotic relationship with the organization they supposedly want to destroy, they need them in order to keep their income.

I don't begrudge anyone offsetting the cost of doing what they do but personally, I'd rather people did things motivated by a genuine desire to help others than as a money making opportunity.

talesin

How will publicizing this internecine struggle help anything other than spreading gossip, starting a nattering campaign and filling the air with depressing negativity?

The struggle is already public. The facts have been obfuscated.

Secrets are damaging. The secrets kept about bullying tactics and lies by this individual have damaged people - people newly exiting the cult. It's important that the air is cleared, and that these tactics are exposed for what they are.

notsurewheretogo

I loved Cedars work prior to him coming out but now he has DA he has lost the plot...his number one goal is to become the number one activist...whilst some of his articles and videos are great his agenda is to become "famous" in the cause.

I had a ding dong with him 2 weeks ago on Reddit about his latest Child Abuse video...it was a great video but given he wanted professional bodies to look at it like newspapers etc many commented that if he smarted himself up a bit it might attract better interest from these professional bodies, a comment I agreed on stating that basic marketing principles apply in that appearance can have a say as to how your message was received.

He viewed this as a personal attack on him and launched back at me...he actually wanted me to back up my claims that he doesn't respond to criticism and expected me to have examples on hand...he is that deluded that he thinks people keep track of him or file things to use against him...he fails to accept any criticism even if it is constructive and valid.

I've had enough of Cedars the man...arrogant and narcissistic...whilst some of the content he produces is good the man behind it is showing his colours for all to see...he has certainly created a divide among the exjw community that are for him and against him.

I'm not against him perse...more against his attitude he shows.

You can see our conversation on this in this thread:

https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/48mg4b/im_sending_the_following_message_about_lloyds/

OUTLAW

People don't always change when they leave the WTS, they just transfer their allegiances but can still have all the same personality traits as they were when they were in, whether that is being abusive or manipulative......Simon

....................................... Image result for Thumbs up through screen

OrphanCrow

OTWO: I hope that this interview shows something of an apology from Marc and Cora for waiting in silence, or at least an explanation, but I was not really victimized in any of this, so I understand if your feelings are stronger and you wish they said and did more.

Yes, this is an explanation that is beneficial and I appreciate it having been given.

I haven't been victimized in this situation either. My 'strong' feelings come from the knowledge of how dangerous bullying and abuse can be.

Bullies kill people - if not physically, then spiritually and mentally. Bullying kills identity. Bullying steals people's sense of self - and...bullying can and does create victims who commit suicide or engage in self destructive behavior.

What bothers me about this situation is how the wagons were circled under the excuse of 'protecting' the reputation and so-called 'unity' of the so-called exJW community. Sound familiar?

EX-JW's Divided- Marc and Cora Interview

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