Justmeok2
I am just starting to rebuild my relationship with God, too. Only this time I'm doing it without an organization ordering me about.
The thing is, I realise I never really knew God. I was just studying what the organization was telling me to study. I was lazy, I just trusted their every word. Well, it turns out they were often - not always - but very often, lying. So the God I thought I knew, well I didn't know him at all really.
My nightly prayers were literally me begging forgiveness for not being a good enough JW and for letting my kids go out the truth. I felt their blood on my hands.
Now I'm free, my prayers are calm. I enjoy thanking God for this beautiful planet. I enjoy talking to him. I am learning about him all over again and it is refreshing. I have peace in my heart. I'm no longer locked into the fear and guilt Watchtower puts on you.
So, please rebuild your relationship with him...but just him...not an organization and 7 portly men sitting around a table voting on what WE are allowed to believe.
The above websites given you really helped me, as did Youtubers EXJW Critical Thinker/Spike R/John Cedars