Don't know what to do

by looter 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • looter

    Hello, all. I'm in a crazy situation. About a year ago, I was going to get baptized. It was all planned and arranged until TTATT was learned. We all were about to study the Inspired publication for me to get baptized and since I learned the TTATT I blatantly refused. When my father found out, he became furious and said that if I wasn't baptized by the time I was 18, then he'd kick me out of the house.

    We didn't talk about it for like 6 months after that but lately he has been very short tempered in the way he was when he first learned I refused. Will be 18 in 4 months and his attitude right now is making me nervous. I don't know what to do. My mother is homeless and an alcoholic and I really don't want anything to do with her because the people who she hangs out with are part of a bad gang.

    So should I just get baptized even knowing TTATT or be homeless? I'm doing pretty well in school right now and have an afterschool job but the way he is acting right now just makes everything unnecessarily intense. I love my father and want him to be happy but don't want to do the wrong thing by getting baptized even though he knows I'm not really into it anymore. What shall I do?

  • Clambake
    Get a job, any job and move away from home. Just start living as an adult the best you can.
  • nowwhat?
    What mind of father threatens to throw out his son? Shame on him
  • NVR2L8
    Ask your dad where in the bible does it says you should be baptized at 18? Wasn't Jesus baptized at 30 and Joseph never threatened to kick him out...
  • Lieu

    No. Don't get baptized. It isn't into Christ, it's into a man made corporation (a contract of sorts) ... and they tell you so. It's used by JWs an initiation not a baptism.

    Water baptism is simply meant to show repentance for sins, not to join a group.

    No one went to John to join some group.

  • LisaRose

    Talk to a counselor at school about alternative living arrangements in case you need to get out, it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Do you have any other relatives who might take you in? Are you planning to go to college? Maybe you will qualify for a scholarship, especially if you are homeless.

    I don't recommend getting baptized unless as a last resort. It will forever complicate your life with your father if you later leave, which seems likely. You best bet is to become independent and live on your own. It probably seems daunting right now, but many have done it and I'm sure you will manage to. You might consider the military, you would be in a secure living situation and get college credit and possibly job training.

  • Crazyguy
    Try to reason with your dad using some Scriptures we can help you get the Scriptures you need. If that doesn't work then prepare yourself to leave but we should know how many family members are jws? Can you get baptized and fade away later with out any real problems or loss of family?
  • atomant
    lve seen this situation many times.lst of all calm down. lf your content with your current living arrangement and biding time its probably in your best interests to try and keep the peace.Your fathers threat to kick you out is unscriptual as allready pointed out. To counter his threat simply tell him you will raise the issue with the elders and see what they have to say.lm feel certain his attitude with this approach will change.The whole idea here is to buy yourself as much time as you need to decide your future.
  • whathappened

    For one thing, the elders won't let you get baptised unless you are doing well and getting in service. My nephews were both not allowed to get baptised because their hair wasnt short enough!!!

    As long as you screw up when you go over the questions for baptism with the elders and maybe tell the elders that you don't feel ready, there isn't much your dad can do, is there?

  • Diogenesister

    OK you have to buy yourself time - don't worry about principals your situation is far too precarious right now, effectively you are being blackmailed and you need time until you are ready to SAFELY move on with your life.

    Baptism should be avoided at all costs, it will complicate things later and as u only have one functioning parent AT THE MOMENT try to keep things as calm as possible.

    Its a good idea to mention calling in the elders, say your fear around your mum is affecting your mental state at that u have to be sure you are not going to betray Jehovah by ending up like your mum. Say u know alcoholism is genetic so your fears are grounded. Yes its BS but if it buys u time till u get finish your education and move out, in other words gets your dad off your case for a bit its all good.

    And please DO reach out to your mum, do it safely but do try, if u can. Goodness knows what she has gone thru with this cult. She needs help, perhaps if she knows you will be waiting for her if she cleans herself up it may be the motivation she needs. I don't know your situation of course, but I do know noons becomes a homeless alcoholic unless they are hurting like hell.

    Anyway do anything u can to buy time, talk to a school counsellor and check out Secular refuge/safe houses.

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