Don't know what to do

by looter 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • Finkelstein

    and said that if I wasn't baptized by the time I was 18, then he'd kick me out of the house.

    Talk to an elder in the hall your attending about the ultimatum your father is pushing, he might be able to calm him down. This is disgusting by the way ...... in my opinion .

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once
    Stop, Drop and Roll! Best advice thus far was to go to a school counselor and ask for alternative living arrangements if he kicks you out at 18. Be ready. At 18 you are considered a legal adult but we know that you are still a teenager technically so its a bit daunting. Talk with your employer to see if he can help you with more hours so you can afford to find a new place to live. Its possible a friend at school has a loving family willing to help. Of course if you've been a good witnoid you have no friends other than Caleb and his sister in the cartoons. The elders will simply back him up I fear, but then again maybe they will tell him its better to give you a choice of meeting attendance for a year or so while you make up your mind. Take that time to make friends with worldly people and to find work or financing for school. Things have a way of falling in place so long as you actively seek to improve your situation. Reasoning with your dad may not be of any value, but don't rule it out. Its worth a try. Just don't get on board the Titanic by getting baptized, its going under!
  • fukitol

    Whatever you do, DON'T get baptized because if you do and then end up getting disfellowshipped (likely if you know TTATT), your father may shun you forevern if he is the type to tow the Watchtower party line.

    By not getting baptized you increase the chances of retaining some sort of relationship with your father in the long term despite his current belligerent attitude.

  • WingCommander

    I agree with above. Try to get into college. If you don't mind military service (USA), join a branch for the GI Bill. You'll also get into great shape, travel the world, etc. I recommend the Navy or Air Force, but that's me. You'll have a place to sleep, meals, exercise, travel, training, and build self-confidence. By the time you are 22, you'll also have money saved up and also the GI Bill waiting to help you with college. It's actually what I wish I had done.

    Your father has ZERO say or control over you once you are 18. Good luck.

  • DesirousOfChange

    As long as you screw up when you go over the questions for baptism with the elders and maybe tell the elders that you don't feel ready, there isn't much your dad can do, is there?

    Tell them you have sincere doubts. If you're not baptized they should help you and worst case scenario can "mark you" if they determine you are "apostate" and bad association. But, be sincere. Ask them to explain all the things that are inexplicable. All the things that disturbed you (and all of us).

    There is the overlap generation thing. At least some of them will think it's BS too. Refer to Matt chap 1 and what is said about "generations". No overlap there.

    Ask them about the promise/prophecy that "Million now living will never die" and the fact that they are all dead.

    Show them a copy of the May 22, 1969 Awake! magazine telling teenagers they will never complete college before Armageddon.


    Tell us in what area (not exact) you live and tell us about your extended family -- how many JWs, non-JWs you are close to in the family, etc

    Good luck,


  • TheListener

    Great advice everyone. My thought was to talk with the elders. Perhaps even stalling your dad by saying you want to study more and get your service hours up....all lies just meant to buy you time.

    While slowing them down by seeming sincere you could talk to your school counselor, find an alternate safe place to live and find some sort of job that would help you get ready to live on your own or with some roommates.

    There's no easy answers when dealing with fanatics like the witnesses. Best of luck.

  • BluesBrother

    I don't know anything about school counsellors and the like, but I know that if the cong. elders knew about your father's ultimatum they would counsel him firmly against it.

    I would level with them. Do not make it a definite "no" but rather that you are not yet ready... your father's attitude has clouded your thinking, you are afraid that you would be doing it for the wrong reason ....just need a little more time etc.

    If you buy time you can use it to make plans for your own future...good luck!

  • Sugar Shane
    Sugar Shane

    The military idea is a good one...but, only go in once you've tied up any and all loose ends back home. You don't want any distractions or second thoughts to cloud your mind when you're getting in formation at 0500 for PT, or learning to clean the M-16A2 rifle with only 4 hours of sleep because you were on CQ the night before. Read up on the various branches, and buddy-up with those who have been there. Ask questions. Read up on some of the history (a few historically accurate movies are out there too). Get MOTIVATED about it. Join because you really WANT to be a soldier/sailor/airman/Marine, NOT just because you want to get away from home, or want college money---though those might be underlying reasons. Navy? Get the Bluejacket Manual & learn it now. Army? Get the "Smartbook" & learn it now. You'll get to see the world & get in shape, but Club Med it ain't. Be ready to go in with a can-do attitude and not look back. You'll be surrounded by a new family, with shipmates/buddies for life.

    BTW--you might check out the Guard's RSP program. It'll bring you up to speed & get you motivated BEFORE you ship to basic. My 2 cents.

  • brandnew

    My friend.....pick up where you left off...before you met the jw's.... Continue with your life happily, and cut your losses. We all have had to do this i think.😢 gets better☺yaaaaaay😂😂😂

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro
    Blues Brother has fantastic advice. I don't believe the elders would back up your father's ultimatum the reasons he gave you are perfect! That will buy you some time until you at least graduate.

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