A Little Direction Please

by Brian J 59 Replies latest social relationships

  • TerryWalstrom

    I would suggest printing some copies of the document below at a print shop locally and having it assembled into a simple ring binder with an unobtrusive cover.
    Label HISTORY of OLD LIGHT / NEW LIGHT through the years

    Leave it out in the open around the house.
    There is nothing inside which can be disputed. Better still, it speaks for itself.

  • carla

    Great link Terry, thank you!

  • Gorbatchov


    I remember myself in the same situation. Every DNA string in my body was hurt. On the platform I looked into the eyes of the congo.

    Best feeling was my last part I did on the platform. I knew it would be my last and they didn't. It set me free and never walked better to my chair with the feeling "this was it".

    Faded away in 7 years.


  • deegee


    There is nu light for your meme - it's LEDs now LOL

  • PorkyFree

    Hi there,

    i was an elder just a few years ago, and I was really concerned about how I could raise questions with my wife without her spinning into full on anti apostate mode.

    i found a few things very helpful. I just asked her to Google Candace Conti. She did so and ended up reading the entire silent lambs website in a day. We talked and I found that she had been noticing large numbers of contradictions for many years and was quite ready to leave. We did a rapid fade in just a couple of weeks and have been out for nearly 3 years now.

    A great resource for support and facts is reddit/r/exjw and of course the site that has already been mentioned. www.jwfacts.com

    I wish you all the best in your journey. We are the happiest we have ever been in our 44 years of marriage (both born ins).

  • Chook

    Tell family to google anything jw, and ask if 10% is true maybe the family can conclude no direction from god. Living a lie will eat you up , your family can be saved. Good luck you will need it.

  • Onager

    It's great to see you posting again BrianJ!

    I'm trying to imagine the mental turmoil giving a talk at a circuit assembly while being mentally awake.. that would fry my noodle!

    I've never fished, but the thought of going out in a small boat with my son and spending a day fishing is magical. It makes me think how stupid Pascal's wager is. What you're losing if you take Pascal's bet is days fishing with your family, it's wasting this one life you have now doing crap like giving talks and knocking doors. It's a life of mental turmoil.

    The most valuable things that you have in your possession right now are your life and your family. Anyone that wants to get you to use those precious possessions in doing what they say had better have some concrete evidence of the benefits and not just baseless claims of a future dream of a hand-drawn panda paradise.

  • usedtobenotanymore

    First off if you have kids start allowing the friends outside of the congregation, and you and wife should start that too. When you leave you need a social network other than JW's. That's one way they keep people in. Obviously with kids you still want to make sure their friends are good influences. But start teaching them that they need to judge people on their character-not just their religious affiliation.

    Probably your family is ready for a break from the busy life of being JW's, meetings twice a week, service on the weekends, family worship, etc, more if you're an elder/pioneer etc. So let them enjoy a weekend off, take a vacation and don't go to meetings, start missing stuff subtly more often. At first they'll just be relieved to sleep in on the weekend! Honestly, one of the biggest things I love about not being a JW is having my time to do with as I please. Not as I'm told to by the society.

    SLOW, SLOW, SLOW. Like everyone else said. If you say too much your wife will jump and then she'll be on that righteous defense mode. "Get behind me Satan!" With everything you say.

    Hang in there bud

  • CovertsadJW

    I am in the same position, but unfortunately I am unable to poke holes in the teachings-so I am mostly silent. I am fading, but my wife sees that and she gets so angry. I have come to the conclusion over so many months that their is no good -pain free options-only what may work for you. If my wife would accept and discuss the failings of the WT, that would make life so much easier. She refuses to discuss anything WT-reality not negative-with me. I have the right to stand up for what I believe just as much as she does, and I have just as much right to explain to the kids that the WT is not the right place to put your trust, and future. I have read stories of people planting seeds of doubt, but I am unable to do that; my wife picks up on that and gets angry every time. I love the examples of family research, family discussion about topics, and a slow process where everyone eventually comes to the same conclusion. I am unable to take that path in my home-I have tried multiple times. I am painted in a bad light to my kids; so it is painful and more painful. She immediately knows what I am up to, but its so hard to stay silent as when you really listen to the " language" used at the KH's ,its depressing, manipulative, guilt-ridden, anxiety producing bull-shit. She was proud of our son that was reading along during the last WT about education( Jan 21) -I almost vomited when I read that crap. Manipulation, Manipulation, controlling-watching my kids be partially brainwashed is very hard. This is not going to end well I don't think- I cannot even close to fake it anymore. I want my kids to have a normal life, be confident, pursue a dream, fin their place in the world out side of some crazy cult.


  • TheListener

    Good luck guys. I'm glad you posted here because there is so much support.

    I stepped aside, my wife is still in but all my kids are free.

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