Brian - Welcome! My 2 cents is that everyone's situation is so different and there really is no right or wrong answer. I still attend despite being awake for a long time. Why? It's just easier for us to show up at half the meetings, fake service time and then live our life as we wish. Both myself and wife have extensive family relationships that would be destroyed if we took action. In our case, the pain of staying is less than the pain of leaving.
In my situation, I was an elder and woke up after several years. The stress of being in an appointed position and having to do all those duties when I didn't believe was really tough. So, I ended up resigning for "family reasons". At first, my wife was upset with me. I set up my increasing stress and displeasure with the elder body for at least 6 months before resigning. And I was keeping her in the loop on things they did that caused me to be angry so when I did resign, she was actually happy.
Over the ensuing years, I pulled back and she was never gun-ho to begin with. Finally, we had a long discussion where she admitted she never really believed and that she was scared that if I could go from a true believer that was 100% in to someone who didn't like the organization and was 100% not in, then I would do the same with our marriage. But, when she saw that nothing changed in our relationship and that I was actually more considerate of her (not putting the org over her anymore) she realized that it was the religion that was screwed up, not us.
Now we are both awake and at first, we discussed JWism often but now its a nuisance that we deal with.
The only advice I can give you is to take it slow and don't dump everything on your wife at once.