Joke Sharing Thread

by Vanderhoven7 59 Replies latest social humour

  • DesirousOfChange

    What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

    I don't know and I don't care.

  • FedUpJW

    A blind man goes into a ritzy department store that is obviously fancier than his station in life. He stops in the first aisle and grabs his seeing eye dog by the tail and swings him around in circles above his head then puts the dog down and continues walking through the store. After repeating the same thing with his dog several more times a store clerk goes up to the blind man and haughtily asks, "What are you doing sir?" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

  • LoveUniHateExams
  • smiddy3

    Me...I just read in the "Health & Well being " section of the newspaper that Russian scientists have discovered a cure for the STD of syphilis

    You.. OH ?

    Me.. Yes its called an atomic pill

    You... Oh and what does it do ?

    Me... It gives you a Nu-Clear weapon .

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    A drunkard is stopped by the Police around 1 am. & is asked where he is going at this time of night.

    The man replies, "I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health."

    Officer: Really....??? Sounds interesting, Who is giving that lecture at this time of night.....???"

    Man replies "My Wife"!!!

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read, 'ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!'

    My wife insisted I make a call

    I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : 'Buy 3 & Get 1 Free'...

    My eyes were filled with tears of joy.

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    An elder noticed a brother asleep at the kingdom hall. So the elder picked up his bible, and then tapped on the brother's shoulder. The brother opened his eyes, and the elder showed him Mark 13:35 ("Keep looking, keep awake, for you do not know when the appointed time is"). The brother calmly took the bible and flipped to 1 Thessalonians 4:11. He handed the bible back to the brother and went back to sleep.

    -"Make it your aim to live quietly and to mind your own business .

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    Read it to the end to enjoy.

    A Wife's Poem

    He did not like the curry

    And he did not like my cake

    He said my biscuits were too hard

    Not like his mother used to make

    I did not make the coffee right

    He did not like the stew

    I did not mend his socks

    The way his mother used to do.

    I pondered for an answer

    I was looking for a clue

    Isnt there anything I could do

    To match his mother's shoe?

    Then I smiled as I saw the light

    One thing I could definitely do

    I turned around and slapped him tight

    Like his mother used to do.


  • MeanMrMustard

    Crowded elevators smell differently to little people.

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    What did David Splane say when he saw Satan?

    Oh my God!!

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