The Watchtower—Study Edition | December 2023 ...Are you marriage material?

by RULES & REGULATIONS 50 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  The Watchtower—Study Edition | December 2023

  STUDY ARTICLE 52

  Young Sisters—Become Mature Christian Women

  

  18 You may choose to get married. The qualities and skills that we have discussed will help you to become a capable wife. Of course, if you are considering marriage, you should choose your mate very carefully. It is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Remember, you will come under the headship of the man you marry. (Rom. 7:2; Eph. 5:23, 33) So ask yourself: ‘Is he a mature Christian? Is he putting spiritual interests first in his life? Does he make wise decisions? Can he admit his mistakes? Does he respect women? Does he have the skills needed to support me spiritually, materially, and emotionally? Does he handle responsibility well? For example, what congregation assignments does he have and how does he handle them?’ (Luke 16:10; 1 Tim. 5:8) Of course, if you want to find a good prospective husband, you will need to be a good prospective wife.

  
  

  This photo illustration shows a capable sister, eyeing a prospective husband after a Congregation meeting. The brother is clean cut, takes responsibility for his congregation cleaning assignment and mature ( age wise) to marry.

  What more is asked from this brother to be marriage material?

  His spirituality, his everyday responsibilities, his employment, his congregation assignments( elder, ministerial servant) in his the Kingdom Hall, and wise ( at home, work and congregation) decision making.

  After 40 years of attending Kingdom Hall meetings, I witnessed many divorces inside my congregation and surrounding congregations. Too many teen marriages, too many sisters and brothers who dated for less than a year ( who married their first crush) who later divorced, spiritual brothers and sisters ( who would commit adultery) divorce each other after a few years of marriage and remarry , spiritual brothers ( who refused to pay child support ) having their ex-wives move back to their parents homes for financial support, and spiritual brothers who lived lives of debauchery after leaving their wives and congregation.

  The Watchtower Society make it look like only a baptized, dedicated Jehovah's Witness marriage is utopia. It never was/will be.

  
  

  
  
  
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  LongHairGal

  RULES & REGULATIONS:

  I didn’t read the actual article, only what you posted.

  I hope the ‘skills’ needed to support a wife include a trade and/or well-paying job! He has to be serious about this. They mention ‘employment’ so maybe they are inching closer to reality about this.

  Without this, a guy can’t even hope to support himself - much less a wife and any children that may follow.
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  Beth Sarim

  "I hope the ‘skills’ needed to support a wife include a trade and/or decent job!

  Without this, a guy can’t even hope to support himself - much less a wife and any children that may follow."

  A decent job, paying the bills and supplying enough food,

  Being there for moral support when having a bad day, someone to pick you up when your down.

  These are some of the things that the Borg overlooks when talking about marriage material like they're not important enough.

  Nah, being a ministerial servant, congregational assignments & cleaning the KH trumps all these vital attributes,
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  jhine

  Where's the instructions for being a good husband?

  Jan from Tam
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  Ding

  Jhine,

  Evidently, the WT considers the instructions for being a good husband to boil down to "be a good organization man."
  
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  Beth Sarim

  ""Be a good organization man""

  Above anything else. Which trumps everything else.
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  joe134cd

  Interestingly I just attended an engagement party of an ultra orthodox, JW, relative of mine. I couldn’t help but think the same thing. Here were my observations:

  - His fleshly sister. Married for less than 2 years was siting on the opposite side to her husband, the whole evening. In subsequent conversations with the parents it wouldn’t surprise me if there were problems. Tbh other than JWism that’s all they really have in common. I think if it hadn’t been for the religion, probably would have never gotten together. Would of had sex, and the relationship would of died in the natural course of things

  She was nearly 20, and he was early 20s. It would be unfair of me to judge someone on their appearance as the first time I saw the guy was on the wedding day. My initial impression was of a guy who looked like a young boy. I remember thinking I hope he doesn’t act the same way he looks.

  - at the engagement I heard of numerous weddings and engagements that had been happening in the local JW area. I’d assume all late teens, early 20. I couldn’t help but think, how many will end up in divorce in a few years time.

  Both my relatives, the one engaged, and the one presently married. We’re not even 22, and married the first person they dated. I’m just so glad I am out of all that nonsense.
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  TonusOH

  The WTS views the husband as the head of the household, in the same way that Christ is the head of the church. While he is expected to be kind, loving and considerate, he is also the unquestioned authority in the household. And his wife is expected to abide by that, lest she displease Jehovah.
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  Ron.W.

  ""Be a good organization man""
  Above anything else. Which trumps everything else.

  👍👍👍

  
  
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  Journeyman

  Where's the instructions for being a good husband?

  To be fair, the org does write articles about that too, so it's not just all on the sisters.

  The problem is, as the OP says, that they obsess over things like whether he or she is pioneering or helps out a lot at the Kingdom Hall and on construction, rather than more relevant things to a successful relationship, like the kind of personal qualities and abilities that Beth Sarim mentioned.

  Take that list of questions mentioned in the article, for example. The two placed at the top of the list are too vague and broad to give helpful guidance. What does "mature Christian" or "spiritual interests" mean? We know that in WT-speak these are code phrases for doing what is expected of them by the organisation, not really necessarily being a mature or spiritual man.

  Most of the remaining questions are useful in assessing a potential husband, but again the last one - "Does he handle responsibility well?" - is automatically framed in the context of congregation assignments. Hardly the most important element of being a responsible potential husband. What about family responsibilities - to his ageing parents, for example? Or perhaps having a responsible role in his secular work, managing a team or doing a demanding job? Nope, not a word of those.

  It's funny how any given body of elders - when caught in informal conversation - will bemoan the number of relationship problems in their congregation, yet these brothers never seem to put two and two together and see the link between that and the unrealistic suggestions put forward in articles like this.