Daughter counselled on dating a wordly guy

by minimus 82 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    My daughter just gave me a copy of an email she got from her "friend". I will quote much of it so that you can get the "feel" of this "friend"................"I miss you a lot. It's really hard for me because I wish things could be as they used to be, but they can't. I heard a while back that you're getting married. That should be one of the most fun things we get to go through as friends, but I can't in any way support it. That totally stinks.And, not that I can say anything that anyone else hasn't already, but I have to at least give it one more try.... I'm sorry, but the "old" --------- knows deep in her heart that this is wrong. That you can't go against principles that you lived by for your entire life, things that should be ingrained in your mind and heart by this time......What about your first love, the one that was supposed to matter above all others.....Jehovah? Who cares what you're doing to me and your other friends and family, but what about him? He now has to say, "Yup, Satan snatched another good one. He used that age old temptation and it worked." I'm begging you one more time, please don't make the wrong decision and have to live with it the rest of your life. NOTHING is worth your relationship with Jehovah, which ultimately means your life..............Please promise me that you will rethink the whole thing. It's never too late to change your mind and make things right. And trust me, people would be there every step of the way to help you get through it......You probably don't see it this way, but ignoring what Jehovah has to say is equal to ruining your life. I would do anything to prevent you from doing that.".......From someone who loves you more than most..................................SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK???

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    Who cares what you're doing to me and your other friends and family, but what about him?

    Whoa. This sounds like one screwed up unit. This quote reminds me of what my grandmother used to say when she wanted to put a guilt trip on someone, "Dont' worry about me. I'll be all right." and of course said in a oh-so-pitiful voice.

    Clearly this girl can't tell the difference between her ass and a hole in the wall. The funny thing is, if you read what she's had to say in this thread, it's clear she doesn't believe in the religion at a 100% level. What she is complaining about is your daughter's lack of compliance with the appearance of belief. She's trying to lay guilt on your daughter for not following the structure, i.e. meetings, service, associating with only approved people, etc. She doesn't give a tinker's dam whether you daughter believes the crap the Watchtower spews out, nor does she care what's in your daughter's heart. All she is interested in is the appearance, the outward show for everyone to see.

    If it wasn't so damn sad, it would be funny.

  • minimus

    Big Tex, I get the impression that this "Little Miss Goody-Two Shoes" believes everything she says. She's married to a former Bethelite who's now an elder. He is extremely critical.(I can't stand his holier-than-thou face). Her dad's a PO who's of the same mold. For them life in the theocracy is oh so grand!

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Well birds of a feather, eh?

    Yeah I hear you Min, but I just get the feeling, and that's all it is just a feeling, that she's not 100% on board with the teachings, the doctrines, that sort of thing. I'm getting the impression that she's much more into appearance rather than substance.

    I could be wrong, just something I noticed. Either way, she is one seriously repressed and suppressed individual. She's going to be downright scary 20 years from now.

  • drwtsn32

    minimus, I think I want to puke. I hope your daughter isn't too devastated by this manipulative message. It's really too bad, but if I were her I'd probably just end the "friendship".... it can't obviously work with someone who is so engrained in the organization.

  • gumby

    What is so pathetic is the way we used to view people as this witness girl does your daughters boyfriend,

    I'm begging you one more time, please don't make the wrong decision and have to live with it the rest of your life. NOTHING is worth your relationship with Jehovah, which ultimately means your life

    She has no idea what your daughters boyfriend is like.........all she knows is he's not a witness and both of their lives will be ruined.

    I'm going to the bathroom right now and pull down my shorts and kick myself in the ass for being as stupid as that girl is for believing that crap for so long.


  • sxybrwneyes

    Obviously your daughters friend isn't a very good friend because they havent seen each other in a while and she is talking to her in the third person, so If I were your daughter I wouldn't be too worried about what this friend is thinking, although I can relate because I grew up a JW and I remember going through all of that.

    All I have to say is I am soooo glad I did not marry a JW guy. All the ones I dated were fake and played games and they all broke my heart. I now have a fiance who is and never was a JW and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. He worships the ground I walk on and hes a great guy,.

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    But see, she started hanging out with some Witnesses who weren't very strong . And soon, her strong Witness friends stopped seeing her.

    just goes to show, how many divisions there are in any congregation, now people determine in their own mind who is strong and not very strong. I thought JW's were not supposed to JUDGE.


  • ashitaka

    Ugh. This letter is so creepily familiar. It acts like a concerned friend, but it's like a tiger walking slowly to catch it prey when it pounces.

    I wish evil on all emotional manipulaters like this.

    Even when I was a witness, I talked to people who were 'weak', and always found that they had more to offer than 'good' witties.

    This girl needs to be beaten unconscious with a bag of pretzels. That letter is just so inhuman.


  • obiwan

    I would say, " I think your friend should tell you to mind your own business", and also make mention about her being happy and that's what really matters. Then I'd ask her how jelous she is, since she doesn't have the balls to think for herself.

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